NOT THE ONION. I REPEAT: NOT THE ONION. Take appropriate precautions.
There’s Now A Coloring Book To Teach Your Children To Love Ted Cruz
ThinkProgress
Are you a new parent terrified that the liberal media will turn your child into an Obama supporter? Or do you just need something to entertain your kids during those long drives to Tea Party rallies? If so, then a brand new coloring book is just the thing for your family! The “Ted Cruz to the Future™ – Comic Coloring Activity Book” is a “non-partisan, fact-driven view of how Texas Sen. Rafael Edward “Ted” Cruz became a U.S. senator and details, through his quotes and public information his ideas for what he believes will help America grow,” according to its publisher Really Big Coloring Books.
Some of the “non-partisan, fact-driven” things children will learn from the new book are:
* Ted Cruz Is A Man Of Great Virility And Stamina: Many “career establishment politicians are far too out of shape, old or overweight to even perform such a magnificent feat” as standing on the Senate floor and talking for over 21 hours. But not Ted Cruz!
* Ted Cruz Can See The Future: Cruz spoke with “clairvoyant precision” about the “quickly approaching Obama Care disaster.
The rest: http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2013/12/09/3036431/good-news-tea-party-parents-coloring-book-teach-children-love-ted-cruz/
Still don't believe me?
The goddam thing is available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=coloring+books+and+ted+cruz&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Acoloring+books+and+ted+cruz
= new reply since forum marked as read
Just saying this actually exists.
Besides, I bought them all.
Last edited Mon Dec 9, 2013, 09:31 PM - Edit history (1)
edit: I found higher res versions instead
http://www.coloringbook.com/ted-cruz-coloring-book.aspx
und mein Gott zu.
The first one is not german, it's bavarian. 
Literal translation: "There you ly down."
It means: "Because of this, you will have to ly down." or "You will faint."
The second one just means "Heavens, ass and thread!" and is a collection of random words, but nevertheless a swear-word.
Ain't that biblically verboten, or something? 'scuse me. Gotta wonder. What are the Occultist Republicons up to now?
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HHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks!
funny
and it utter awe of your mind and capabilities.
He looks so snuggly and warm.
Thank you, dear.
But the farther he "cruze's" the farther back in time he goes until his modern SUV ends up as the Flintstone mobile. I could see him passing these things out at a rally that ranks up there there with "tea party fedoras"
you know any hat with enough teabags to make a gallon of sun tea!)After all his fans couldn't have too much of the gray matter(white either)--what does it matter-- to carry on a great conversation so these books would come in handy. The only catch is they will charge for the crayons and it will be a hefty one!
Imagine the smiles on kids faces when they wake up and find this under the tree.
There won't be many trees left in a Republican America.
Aw my review was rejected. Well it's the thought that counts.
Tea Party Coloring Book:
http://www.amazon.com/Tea-Party-Coloring-Book-8-5x11/dp/193526656X/ref=sr_1_6?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1386605776&sr=1-6
We Shall Never Forget 9/11 Coloring Book (WTF?)
http://www.amazon.com/Shall-Never-Forget-Coloring-Book/dp/1935266977/ref=sr_1_10?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1386605776&sr=1-10
(That one for some reason claims bin Laden was Egyptian)
The Libertarian Party Coloring Book:
http://www.amazon.com/Libertarian-Party-Coloring-Activity-Book/dp/1619530945/ref=sr_1_24?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1386606356&sr=1-24
I feel sorry for the kids who get stuck with these!!
I remember when limbaugh became a "best-selling author." He used to have a TV show. With a set, and a stage, and he'd sit there and fart out the mouth only you could see it as opposed to just hearing it on the radio.
Well... if you DID go see, you might have noticed the backdrop on that set, behind where he'd be onstage, was a wall of his books. Quite literally - a WALL of his books. Stacks upon stacks. They covered the entire camera view behind him - in any shot from any angle. I'd bet hard money that those were all purchased by either his production company or his sponsor or some frickin' wrong-wing "think" tank to create this display. And of course, all those would be credited to him as sales, and even though in bulk-buys, it would still be enough to catapult him artificially to the top of the New York Times bestseller list. That's how it's done with ALL those screeds - ann coulter's, that-guy-whose-name-rhymes-with-VANITY's, dear-darling sarah palin's, EVERYBODY'S.
Just yet another sneaky-ass method of putting a thumb on the scale to create the illusion that these are hot topics and hot authors. And of course then that makes it far easier and more compelling to make the case for booking them on all the talk shows and all the news shows - "NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR dontchaknow?!?!?!" Basically just more mind-fucking. Which begets these snake-oilers getting even MORE exposure on the airwaves and in the review pages and keep them talked about and give them "credibility" so that they can then write columns and op/ed pieces that will get used because, after all, they are "NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHORS dontchaknow?!?!?!" And it's as phony as a three-dollar bill. Or ann romney's or ted cruz's sincerity, whichever comes up (like a hairball) first.
In a continuation of the company's popular series Tell the Truth - Tell it Often - Tell the Children designed for all ages to promote positive healthy discussion and understanding, Really Big Coloring Books®, Inc. (RBCB) turns complex challenges or issues into a relevant format with an emphasis for youth. The Cruz to the Future book is a non-partisan, fact-driven view of how Texas Sen. Rafael Edward Ted Cruz became a U.S. senator and details, through his quotes and public information his ideas for what he believes will help America grow. Cruz has openly identifies with the Tea Party and garners support from the Republican Liberty Caucus and many independents including democrats. The Washington Post calls Cruz s Texas senate election victory the biggest upset ... a true grassroots victory against very long odds. Texas Sen. Rafael Edward Ted Cruz has become a rejuvenation for the Tea Party movement in the U.S. His 21-hour speech on the Senate floor in September 2013 propelled Cruz into the national spotlight. Cruz s beliefs and actions stir much emotion in those following the political realm, he is a modern 'superhero' to many and looked upon in adoration and abomination by some. 'The Cruz to the FutureTM coloring book is suitable for any student desk in America, as millions of people across the country admire, respect and portray Mr. Cruz as a positive role model for children, stated publisher Wayne Bell. Parents have told our company they enjoy modern day heroes and positive role models in children's literature and Mr. Cruz as a sitting U.S. Senator certainly meets the criteria', continued Bell. RBCB created this comic coloring and activity book not as an endorsement of Sen. Ted Cruz but rather as an educational tool to be used in schools and perhaps as a handout for groups, clubs and organizations. Information to contact Cruz, through both direct mail and social media, is presented at the end of the book. He is a positive role model worthy of study in any school. All information is fact-based, evidenced in truth and is made available to the public. The book is designed for children of all ages as well as parents, teachers and educators and may be used in the classroom as a tool to promote discussion on issues relevant to the subject matter. Not only do pages describe Cruz s early years, education and Tea Party stance in an easy way for parents and educators to explain to their children and students, but crossword puzzles and words searches along with other games and activities provide thought-provoking information and steps for more research. This book displays topics such as small business and the Pledge of Allegiance and Cruz s views on them.
gun rights and free enterprise are leaves that come out of the ten commandments branch?
I hope it winds up like SP's and GW's books, the recycle bin!!!
everyone on the side of the batshit crazy right wing would be happy!
All hail his noodly appendage!
"I have one question, and I ask it with all sincerity. Is there a crayon in the color of blind ambition?"
are they coming out with a santorum version of it???
From the 21-hour Epic Speech chapter:
"Truth-be-known, a lot of the career establishment politicians are far too out of shape, old or overweight to even perform such a magnificent feat, God bless them all."
"The speech was important because millions of Americans believe Obama Care is worse than any war"
No f'ing way this is real.
I'd like to know what the name is, for that odd shape of his head.
Ted Cruz, the Canadian Senator from Texas can cure gall stones by putting his hands on you. Oh wait, that's his dad and his master, Benny Hinn. As you can see on the cover, Ted Cruz values his own roots. They start in Cuba where his father was born and end up in Canada where Theodore was born. Next time you hear him judge another person on their Murikanism, remember he came from a foreign land and doesn't know better.
Bless his heart.
the reviews are awesome. 
You're crunchy and taste good with ketchup!
