Santa is a really rich white guy who doesn't like poor children.

[Coyotl]

Santa is a 1%er, make no mistake about it, Santa is super, super rich.
Santa has so much stuff he can give something to almost everyone.
But, as every child knows, Santa really likes rich kids a lot more.

Santa gives rich kids tons and tons of expensive gifts every year.
But Santa NEVER gives poor kids really spendy stuff, never ever.
So, as every child knows, Santa really likes rich kids a lot more.

If you are not rich, or even if you are really well-heeled,
make sure your children know Santa is just a fun game and fiction.
Don't let your children grow up thinking Santa loves them less.

Send you kids to school after the Holidays this year prepared
to give those rich kids a dose of reality with the truth.
No reason for them to feel they are Santa's favorites.

Tell your kids Santa needs to be replaced with reality.
Make your kids the harbingers of the truth this year.
Send them back to school ready to spread the word.

Tell your kids there is no Santa, but there is rich and poor.
And if there were a real Santa he'd be a good socialist
and he would give the poor kids more than rich kids.

Don't let your children grow up thinking they are less.
Tell your kids Santa needs to be replaced with reality.
Send them back to school ready to spread the word.

(Sung to the melody of Jingle Bells. )

On edit: Just doing my part in the War on Christmas!

[el_bryanto]

1. You should go sing that publicly as often as possible. In front of kids preferably. Nt

[pscot]

2. Not that there's anthing wrong with that.

[Coyotl]

3. The real "Santa Claus" is one Nicholas

#t=29

[hfojvt]

4. you are thinking of Father Christmas

[Nye Bevan]

5. My family was not rich when I was a kid,

but I never, ever got the feeling that "Santa loves rich kids more". I just don't believe that kids generally think that way.

[gollygee]

6. That's not really how the wealthy use Santa

They only give each kid one present from Santa, and it's a small one. The rest of the presents, and especially the more expensive presents, come from the parents because they want the credit.

Common discussion among moms this time of year so I've heard it from lots of directions.

(Although I do get your point! Not meaning to negate your point, just an interesting point on how wealthy parents treat the whole Santa myth.)

[Morning Dew]

7. Santa totally neglected my Jewish friends when I was a child.

I thought that was cruel.

[FarCenter]

15. That's too bad, since Santa was mostly an invention of American 19th century city retailers.

A number of whom were Jewish.

[B2G]

8. You're kidding, right? nt

[Coyotl]

12. More like using satire to editorialize.

[raccoon]

9. That's another reason I don't like the Santa Claus myth. You said it right!

On edit: I mean the Santa Claus lie.

[Matariki]

11. Add to that mix the idea of being 'good' or 'bad' and you got it exactly.

Poor kids must be 'bad' since Santa kinda neglected them.

I've always felt that Santa was a capitalist ploy to foster the conceit that the folks who possess the majority of the 'goods' are morally good.

[Coyotl]

13. How about the contrasts between Santa and St. Nicholas?

Turkey vs. North Pole
Celibate Bishop vs. Mrs. Claus--just an insignificant female who does not even have a first name
Gives away his fortune to the poor vs. gives more to the rich
Walked the Earth vs. a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer
Plus, those reindeer are racists, they discriminate against red-nosed reindeer

[Coyotl]

14. Tonight: Coverage of The War on Christmas continues at 11/10c. on Comedy Central.

http://thedailyshow.tumblr.com/post/68812912977/tonight-coverage-of-the-war-on-christmas