Why am I always talking about what my wife thinks? My Grandmother is dying and I am trying not to go

[diabeticman]

crazy.


My Grandmother is in her 90s and yes she has had a good life. but after a series of strokes the most recent one being so massive she is a shell of herself it is a matter of days before she dies. I doubt she will see Christmas or the New Years.

When my parents divorced she became the mother not that my mom left us but my parents didn't really develop any talking terms. In fact they wouldn't share a dance floor at our wedding.

My wife has changed my outlook in life. Before married I was raised in a very conservative family. My mother's brothers--my uncles are racist and my one uncle can't wait to tell me how Obama is destroying the country and how this country will never recover from his Presidency and how America is blemished because of him.

My wife has turned my thinking around and yes for a while she was more political and more informed than me. She still is but she has begun to become upset with the system. She doesn't consider herself a democrat but a liberal independent.

She has tried to get an account but like I said her hotmail account is not recognized. Also I wonder if she would be banned for criticizing the Obama Administration when she feels they have done something wrong or something unconstitutional.

Some would say she is a troll. I think she has a loyalty to her citizens and the constitution and NOT a particular party.

But with my grandmother's situation talking about my wife's points of view on this board helps me not to dwell on slow death my grandmother is going through.

IF this offends people PLEASE PLACE ME ON IGNORE!

[JI7]

1. i enjoy reading some of the things your wife says

so continue on .

[diabeticman]

26. thank you.

[elfin]

2. You are in a complicated situation, however family is your most important touchstone

May your grandmother end her journey peacefully and you and your wife cherish that love conquers all - even politics.

[diabeticman]

27. Thank you

[dballance]

3. Sorry about you grandma.

It's okay to criticize Obama for things like drones and the NSA.

just spend time with your grandma while you can. My dad wasted away due to prostate cancer. It was sad and depressing.

[diabeticman]

28. Thank you

[Grey]

4. I really like the posts about "What my Wife Said"

Keep 'em coming......

[diabeticman]

29. Thanks. I will tell her.

[BlueToTheBone]

5. DU won't accept my yahoo account either

I have to use my business account on google. Don't ask me, I just want to play here. I doubt she is a troll, but disturbed about the world situation. If she would read and not just need to have her say, she might become better informed and be able to do more than become angry.

But really, the part is your grandmother's passing. It's hardk. We are so geared to avoid death and dying especially. It scares us deeply because we know that life is a heart beat and there is no ground. and we have no idea when it is our turn. You might want to spend time just sitting with your grandmother and be present in her dying. By time, I mean hours or days; not minutes or at most an hour. Death comes slowly and your love is comforting.

Om Mani Padme Hum

[firsttimer]

6. She sounds like a libertarian with a hint of tea party in her

sorry about your grand mother

[diabeticman]

7. Really? My wife who thinks that "Pull yourself up by the boot straps" is a bunch of bullshit.

My wife who believes that we should have universal health care in this country.

My wife who feels the constitution is being destroyed

My wife who believes we need our social programs expanded


Who really haven't been reading. Sorry she doesn't believe Obama is good in everything he.

[Hissyspit]

22. No, she doesn't.

[abbeyco]

8. Please, do what YOU need to do for yourself!

Disregard any and all other stuff that will prevent you from saying goodbye, wishing her spirit peace or anything else. You are her family and you need to grieve her now as she passes or grieve her when she's gone from this life.
Please take care of yourself during this sad time. I lost my Mom just 19 days ago and I'm only now trying to figure out how to live my life without her - and there wasn't a real chance to say goodbye.
I cannot stress enough - do what you need to do for yourself and for your memories of your
Grandmother. It's a hard loss when it happens but take the time now to line up all of the things you've loved and remember - there might be other family members who can share lots of memories, too.
Peace and loving thoughts to you during this time...I needed a hug when my Mom died and if I can send you a virtual hug, I'm doing so in hopes that it gives you comfort.

[No Vested Interest]

15. Sorry for your loss, too, abbeyco.

Especially since you didn't have a chance to say goodbye.
You can still talk with her, you know. You can tell her, silently or aloud or even in writing, what you want her to know.
I now believe that loved ones are very close to us during that first year after their death.

[diabeticman]

32. thanks for the support.

[calimary]

9. No worries, diabeticman! Just take full advantage of whatever time you have left with your

grandma. If it helps to let off steam here, then BY ALL MEANS!!!!!

LOTS of nice strong shoulders and large ears ready to hear and eyes ready to read. And many of us have been through that miserable situation of watching an elderly loved one waste away. So you'll find plenty of sympathy - and empathy.

[diabeticman]

33. thanks that what my wife said.

[roguevalley]

10. too bad you have to worry about being in trouble for expressing an opinion

about things that would should appall anyone. Bombings, etc. I am sorry for the misery you feel but the day will come when you will be happy again. Hang on until then, honey. Been there, done that.

[nadinbrzezinski]

11. Do what you need to do man

Hugs, the passing of family is never easy.

And I recomend you use the ignore button liberally. Hey, the trolls even go after their targets, like good little bullies, even when they get their wishes.

But I highly recomend you use the ignore button, liberally so.

Oh and hugs. You need a bear hug.

[Lil Missy]

12. It's okay if you talk about what your wife thinks. n/t

[geomon666]

13. "I wonder if she would be banned for criticizing the Obama Administration"

Yes, she would be.

[Pretzel_Warrior]

14. lol. thanks for clarifying. because I originally thought

your "wife" saying all of the things that might get you accepted as a legit Democrat would be a great device for someone who wanted to mole but couldn't bring themselves to take on those political positions in their own name--even if anonymously.

So bravo. Merry Christmas and I hope your Grandma survives to see another year. 2014 is going to be a great one.

[diabeticman]

34. Thanks

[dorkzilla]

16. I lost my 23 year old cousin a few hours ago; i totally sympathize

I came here to chat with my virtual friends, to take my mind off the completely screwed up, totally inexplicable, and FUCKING UNFAIR situation my family has to face. I haven't eaten all day; I got the call at 9:30 that he had been declared brain-dead after suffering a grande mal seizure yesterday afternoon, then it was the back and forth texts/phone calls, the attendant anxiety and the awful finality of the situation.

Sometimes, we just need to escape. It doesn't mean you don't love your grandma any less.

[Hekate]

19. I'm so very sorry for your loss, dorkzilla

It's impossible to reconcile with the sudden death of a young person -- it's so wrong. May you and your family find peace....

[dorkzilla]

20. Thank you, Hekate

We're still in shock over another young cousin's death in a bus accident on a school field trip 2 years ago. They would have been the same age. We're a rather large family and have been spared a lot of sorrow till now. It.Just.Sucks.

[nadinbrzezinski]

21. My deepest condolences.

I just lost a brother. So fully get it.

Hugs

[dorkzilla]

24. My sincerest sympathy...

I argue with my brother all the time, but I can't imagine life without him. We were best buddies growing up (he's 2 years older than me) and still talk every day. I'm so sorry. That's a heavy load to carry.

[nadinbrzezinski]

39. We weren't that close

Who I worry about is my niece, 20 is young to lose a father.

[diabeticman]

25. I am so sorry

May he rest in peace.

[jtuck004]

17. Why would one ignore someone who sounds like they are married to Eleanor Roosevelt's descendant?

[ btw - Take care of yourself and the others, and I wish Grandma, and all of you peace. (Being older we have lost many who meant a lot to us in a variety of ways, and one very important one over the holidays, so I have some feeling for what you are all going through. All you can do is the best you can with what you have, so don't be too concerned about meeting the expectations of others ]

As far as your wife - although FDR gets a lot of the cred, after reading some of her words I think Ellen was the driving force behind a lot the things that made life better for Americans...and he may have, uh, lifted a few sentences from her. Even so, Democrats used to hang pictures of him on the wall and say "I want the world he wants to build". I think a lot of those pictures are faded now.

Anyway, the below sounds a bit like your wife, I think...

(btw - there are a lot of links to the following on duckduckgo.com, google, and other search engines if you are interested.)

The Second Bill of Rights. Proposed during FDR's State of the Union Address on January 11, 1944.

"It is our duty now to begin to lay the plans and determine the strategy for the winning of a lasting peace and the establishment of an American standard of living higher than ever before known. We cannot be content, no matter how high that general standard of living may be, if some fraction of our people—whether it be one-third or one-fifth or one-tenth—is ill-fed, ill-clothed, ill-housed, and insecure.
...
We have come to a clear realization of the fact that true individual freedom cannot exist without economic security and independence. “Necessitous men are not free men.”People who are hungry and out of a job are the stuff of which dictatorships are made.
...

Among these are:

The right to a useful and remunerative job in the industries or shops or farms or mines of the nation;

The right to earn enough to provide adequate food and clothing and recreation
...

I read in another article that FDR once said that, "Happiness lies not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort." here

He did not say, nor do I think either he nor Eleanor or many of the progressives thought that we should make an effort to simply send people a check, one which can be cut anytime some party gets a few more chairs than the other folks in Congress.

I think he and others thought that we needed to get involved, as a government and people, in making our democracy real for those we call the 99% today. I think he, or at least she, believed people WANT to do something. That unless the spirit is driven from them they have an inner motivation to DO, whether others see it as useful or not. Art, building bridges, working in a factory, programming operating systems like Linux for other for no pay - (REALLY GOOD operating systems like Linux Mint 15 XFCE, btw...but I digress). And that we need to provide an outlet for that, and pay them so they can sustain themselves in the process. THAT is what makes us all richer.

As far as his comment about one-third, or one-fifth, or one-tenth - 50 million people in poverty today - or about 16%, which I think he, and she, would have seen as a problem we needed to do a little more about while we worried a little less about inflating the assets of the wealthy.

Y'all take care.

[diabeticman]

35. My wife would blush seeing your post.

[Hekate]

18. What a hard thing to be going through in this season....

I'm glad you and your wife have each other. Love your grandma and be at peace; then let your grandma's memory be a light to you.

Take care.

[diabeticman]

37. thanks

[Exultant Democracy]

23. Whats a troll?

[tabbycat31]

30. As someone who's about to say goodbye to a grandparent

Do what you can to say goodbye and leave politics behind.

I'm a card-carrying Democrat who is very loyal to my party (and I have worked for them in the past). I'm leaving all of that behind for the sake of my family over these next two weeks. This side of the family (who I haven't seen in years) has a lot of people from Texas and truth be told, I'm not sure what their political stances are. But a funeral is not the time and place to discuss it.

My advice is go, be with your family, and know that there are certain life events (funerals would be one of them) that people should not bring up politics at.

[diabeticman]

38. Thank you for advice. Believe it or not me coming to this board does help.

[etherealtruth]

31. I am so sorry

We all do what need to cope

[mother earth]

36. (((diabeticman))), life is a journey, we learn, we grow, or we stagnate and fester,

celebrate the life of your grandmother in your heart and mind to help in your grieving. Be thankful for the time she blessed you with and the "gifts" she brought to your life, in time you will heal and the lessons she brought you will sustain you.

[ScreamingMeemie]

40. My husband was a libertarian for the most part.

That is, until the good Doctor (Howard Dean) came to town. By the time we lost him, he was a better liberal than I at times.

I am so sorry you are losing your Grandmother. I try to breathe my way through this time of year and focus on my children. It is never easy...so, focusing on your wife is a wonderful thing to do.

My thoughts go with you.

[sibelian]

41. I'm very sorry to hear about your Grandmother, diabeticman.

No matter how "expected" these things are, they never really feel expected.

Life beats us up.

I am certainly not putting YOU on ignore.