If Santa was black, who would be the best actor to play him?

[yurbud]

Last edited Mon Dec 23, 2013, 06:24 PM - Edit history (1)

I'm trying to think of someone so warm and reassuring that even Fox News reporters would want to sit on his lap like a fatter Bill Cosby or Morgan Freeman, Charles S. Dutton, Michael Clarke Duncan, or Cedric the Entertainer.

EDIT: It would probably be even more funny to think of who the Fox Newsies would LEAST like to see come down their chimney or kissing mommy underneath the mistletoe like Samuel L Jackson, Ice T, Wesley Snipes, Flava Flav, Lil Wayne, or whichever rapper they find most horrifying.

[Pretzel_Warrior]

1. They would not only sit on this guy's lap....no telling what they would do

Color makes no difference at FauxSpews if you're willing to attack Dems and spout right wing talking points.

[yurbud]

59. he would put a gun to your head

[stevenleser]

2. Damon Wayans. nt

[VanillaRhapsody]

3. Cedric would certainly be an entertaining Santa.

but how about Wendell Pierce of Treme and The Wire fame?

[SwankyXomb]

81. If we're casting The Wire actors,

how about Michael K. Williams?

"Santa comin'"

[yurbud]

87. I had to look up his pic--I thought you meant the drug dealer from the wire

[VanillaRhapsody]

92. nope....but he would make an interesting Santa!

[TeamPooka]

4. Michael Clarke Duncan is dead.

[madokie]

5. Thats an easy one

Eddie Murphy

[pinboy3niner]

6. James Earl Jones. nt

[DFW]

13. First name that came to my mind as well. n/t

[longship]

38. A Republican?

Yup. He is.

[liberal N proud]

51. Yep

[Marrah_G]

55. totally!

[VanillaRhapsody]

7. Oh I know....Hermain Cain! He does need a job these days.

We already know he is a great "actor"...he played his "role" for the Fox News viewers very well indeed!

[klook]

32. The children of Uzbekhistan would never get their presents! (n/t)

[Hassin Bin Sober]

36. If you don't have a Tonka Truck, blame yourself!

[klook]

45. LOL

How many reindeer does Santa Herman's sleigh have? Not eight, but nine...NINE...NINE!!

[Aerows]

8. I'm thinking Samuel L. Jackson

He would be just awesome enough to deliver that many packages and drive a sleigh that flies that fast.

[ecstatic]

15. That was my first thought until I saw that "Fox News" would have to approve

lol

[Aerows]

64. Get off my sleigh, man

I got shit to deliver.

[Wounded Bear]

21. I can see it now...

"I'm motherfuckin' tired of these mutherfuckin' kids on my motherfuckin' lap!"

[klook]

35. Snakes on a Sleigh

would make a pretty good movie, though, you have to admit!

[Wounded Bear]

48. Bad Santa....better watch your ass...

[Aerows]

65. Deer. No I mean DEER

Hooked up to my sleigh. And they can fly? Seriously?

[sakabatou]

50. You owe me a new keyboard

[jmowreader]

42. You mean this guy?

[Aerows]

67. That guy :) n/t

[yurbud]

74. that would go something like his Obama ad:

[csziggy]

79. Samuel L. Jackson IS really good at bedtime stories

The kids would love him as Santa!

[The Straight Story]

98. A pic that fits:

[Aerows]

109. Say "white" again

[dipsydoodle]

9. James Earl Jones

.

[Harmony Blue]

10. Yes!

Good choice.

[hootinholler]

26. Either him or Shaq

J.E.J. was my first choice.

[intaglio]

11. Forest Whitaker

because unfortunately we lost Michael Clarke Duncan

[grahamhgreen]

90. +1

[Brigid]

12. Chris Rock?

[jberryhill]

14. Al Jolson

[Orrex]

33. Too soon.

[jberryhill]

57. Meh. They got an English guy to play Gandhi

[yurbud]

93. hasn't he been dead for decades?

[Proud Public Servant]

16. Either

Wendell Pierce

or

Frankie Faison

[exboyfil]

17. Danny Glover

[Harmony Blue]

22. That is an excellent choice as well

I like this too.

[L0oniX]

18. If?

[truebrit71]

19. Samuel. Motherfucking. L. Motherfucking. Jackson.

[lumberjack_jeff]

30. +1

Fuck cookies, leave a Royale With Cheese.

[valerief]

82. I'm convinced he's the man! nt

[Spirochete]

20. Keith David

because he hasn't been picked yet...

[yurbud]

94. a good choice in any case

[hobbit709]

23. Only one

[hootinholler]

29. Please tell me that's Nancy Reagun

Oh please,

[hobbit709]

31. Yep.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

37. Either that, or Frank Gorshin.

[Lizzie Poppet]

24. Tilda Swinton.

Because the answer to the question "who would be the best actor to portray so-and-so?" is always Tilda Swinton.

Yeah, I know it's a stretch for a thin, pale woman to play a portly black male...but it's Tilda Fucking Swinton.

[Rosco T.]

25. I'm goign with Charles Dutton

[MrScorpio]

27. Idris Elba

He's got the moves down

[Brigid]

71. Never heard of Idris Elba before.

But gotta love those moves.

[greyl]

28. George Clinton, hands down.

Or up, whatever.

[Warren DeMontague]

34. The late Redd Foxx

[Hassin Bin Sober]

39. Jimmy McMillin of the rent is too damn high party.

He already has the beard and, as a karate expert, he would be able to spread love and joy.

[klook]

40. Louis Armstrong, nobody else will do

If only in my dreams...

[K.O. Stradivarius]

41. Huell Babineaux

aka Lavell Crawford

[RagAss]

68. saw a "Where's Huell?" bumber sticker last week...almost drove off the road.

[yurbud]

95. too fat

[WinkyDink]

43. I'd put out cookies for Denzel.

[tblue37]

47. Too hot. Santa shouldn't be a hubba-hubba sex object. nt

Last edited Wed Dec 25, 2013, 06:23 PM - Edit history (1)

[Brigid]

70. Why not?

[Laffy Kat]

102. I'd put myself out for Denzel.

And I would PUT OUT for Denzel.

[etherealtruth]

44. James Earl Jones

I can hear the HO HO HO

[tblue37]

46. Morgan Freeman. There's a reason why he was tapped to play God in those movies. There is just

something comforting, wise, and thoughtful about his demeanor, his voice, and his self-presentation in general.

[yurbud]

73. not quite jolly enough for Santa though

[MerryBlooms]

49. Sinbad-- I Love his stuff.

[sabbat hunter]

52. Samuel L. Jackson

[DrDan]

53. too easy - Samuel L. Jackson - Santa with attitude

[abelenkpe]

54. Idris Elba :)

[BainsBane]

63. You want to make me harbor impure thoughts about Santa?

While I typically would vote for Idris Elba to play anything, not Santa. Charles Dutton would be good though.

[Number23]

56. Michael Clarke Duncan died over a year ago

[yurbud]

60. so he would be a lot less threatening...

[chungking34]

58. Danny Glover would be my first pick

Jamie Foxx would also be a good Santa IMO.

[yurbud]

61. ON SECOND THOUGHT: who would be SCARIEST for them to see?

[NewJeffCT]

69. Barack Obama as Santa

would cause all of the Rush listeners and Fox watchers to have a collective heart attack.

[yurbud]

88. It's not the funniest, but the truest

[pinboy3niner]

100. Tony Todd

The Candyman.

[yurbud]

108. I saw him in something where he didn't play a villain and his acting was totally believable--until..

the VOICE.

It's so low and gravelly it sounds like something that eats people whole and still has room for dessert.

[Ryano42]

62. Obviously...Kirk Lazurus

[NM_Birder]

107. "that smelled like baloney for some reason"

never go full retard..........................

[Uncle Joe]

66. Morgan Freeman.

Thanks for the thread, yurbud.

[MurrayDelph]

72. Reginald Veljohnson

[NewJeffCT]

104. +1 on him

memorable in Die Hard many years ago.

[winter is coming]

75. Samuel L. Jackson

Because when he came down the chimney and discovered a child waiting up for him, he could say, "Go the fuck to sleep."

[Va Lefty]

76. Steve Harvey

[Chipper Chat]

77. Keenan Thompson.

Or Whoopi Goldberg!

[JustAnotherGen]

78. Idris Elba

I like the idea of a totally ridiculous hot Santa!

[CFLDem]

80. Morgan Freeman

hands down

[valerief]

83. Big Mama. nt

[BKH70041]

84. Al Jolson

[TransitJohn]

85. Ice Cube eom

n/t

[BootinUp]

86. Eddie Murphy perhaps.

[Stinky The Clown]

89. Megyn Kelly

^joke^

[grahamhgreen]

91. Just had to, huh!

[Initech]

96. Keenan Thompson or Tracy Morgan

[Jamaal510]

97. Herman Cain would be the only Black Santa they probably wouldn't attack. nt

[Morning Dew]

99. Harry Lennix, of course.

Or maybe Forest Whitaker if Harry won't do it.

[Scootaloo]

101. I like that you list Ice T in your "tough guy" list

Because I, for one, will always and forever remember him as the hardcore rapper who, while still flush in his career, thought that allowing himself to be cast as a kangaroo from the bronx in a movie starring Lori Petty would be a good move.



That's some high-octane silly shit there.

[ConcernedCanuk]

103. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

.
.
.

Picture it!



CC

[Orrex]

105. What do you mean "if?"

[Katashi_itto]

106. a CG Gary Coleman

[Tanuki]

110. Jimmy "the rent is too damn high" McMillan could pull it off

if James Earl Jones turns it down!