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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsMy Daddy had a stroke today, and he most probably won't make it...
He has been on the decline for a while, and I am a grown assed woman, but somehow feel all alone without him.
They are observing the blood on his brain situation tonight, but I am bracing myself for the worst.
I mean, when the chaplain comes over to you...TWICE...it might be time to take a hint.
My heart is breaking, but I still feel lucky to have had him. I am also in shock.
We might lose a good one...he was yelling about 'those damn republicans' this very morning.
NYFlip
(324 posts)My thoughts are wth you
Cha
(297,123 posts)sheshe2
(83,729 posts)LaydeeBug
(10,291 posts)Frustratedlady
(16,254 posts)They can do wonders with stroke victims if they get to them soon enough.
Strong thoughts coming your way for a positive outlook.
applegrove
(118,600 posts)Matariki
(18,775 posts)Courage, to you and yours. :hugs:
MADem
(135,425 posts)I had a relative have a massive brain stem stroke. We thought he was done for.
He recovered.
Not completely--he has a crippled leg and weakness on one side, but he kept his marbles, learned to walk, talk and write all over again, and he's the same person, only a bit mellower, and living life to the fullest.
He had a LOT of physical therapy, and it was a long, long, road--over a year--but he did make it. On a cane, with a bad limp...but he made it.
busterbrown
(8,515 posts)Hope is so important...
sheshe2
(83,729 posts)Correct!?
Best rehab center ever. They saved one of mine.
MADem
(135,425 posts)Hoyt
(54,770 posts)stevenleser
(32,886 posts)nadinbrzezinski
(154,021 posts)dixiegrrrrl
(60,010 posts)Loss of a parent carries all sorts of meanings and feelings.
Hang in there.
MFM008
(19,804 posts)hang in there.
prayers if thats ok.
KT2000
(20,572 posts)laundry_queen
(8,646 posts)Live and Learn
(12,769 posts)I hope he makes it and recovers. Sending you good thoughts and vibes.
xxqqqzme
(14,887 posts)Keep talking to him, if you can. It matters.
Response to LaydeeBug (Original post)
A HERETIC I AM This message was self-deleted by its author.
LittleBlue
(10,362 posts)Even if unlikely, I'll hope for his recovery anyway.
Good luck, LaydeeBug
renate
(13,776 posts)Please do send updates when you have the chance and the energy. I really, really hope he recovers and the chaplain was just being cautious. Of course your heart is breaking... it must be so impossibly hard to watch and wait.
Blue_In_AK
(46,436 posts)A stroke took my mother 14 years ago. It's very painful to let go.
AverageJoe90
(10,745 posts)bearssoapbox
(1,408 posts)You be careful and take care of yourself as well.
rustbeltrefugee
(17 posts)I lost my father recently, you never get over it but live with a new normal. When he was in hospice they woke him up to clean and just check his cognizance, they asked "who is the president?" He replied "Jimmy Carter!" Dad was a Dem to the end.
chillfactor
(7,574 posts)I was always daddy's little girl...no matter how old I was
I lost my daddy to a stroke as well.....and I miss him every day.
Find the inner strength I know you have....and you will get through this!
onestepforward
(3,691 posts)Wishing the very best for your dad and comfort and strength for you and your family.
icymist
(15,888 posts)TexasTowelie
(112,101 posts)I hope your father recovers and remains an active and vital part of your life.
leftynyc
(26,060 posts)Spend as much time with him as you can. I lost my dad 1-1/2 years ago and it's a hole that is very hard (I'm thinking impossible) to fill. He was also someone who railed against the republicans until his dying breath. Tell your dad how much you love him - tell him over and over again.
DianaForRussFeingold
(2,552 posts)Demeter
(85,373 posts)I grieve with you. It's very hard to let your loved ones go.
whathehell
(29,065 posts)and I know how you feel...Don't lose hope.
Savannahmann
(3,891 posts)I know what that is like, and my prayers are with you.
malaise
(268,909 posts)No matter their age the thought of losing a parent is very hard. As MADem wrote, you never know.
madrchsod
(58,162 posts)lost my mom the same way.....
Tree-Hugger
(3,370 posts)BobUp
(347 posts)Last edited Tue Jan 7, 2014, 10:21 AM - Edit history (2)
in 2004. A man traveled from Milwaukee, WI to Lakewood, NY taking a finished product to a delivery point.
After arriving in Lakewood, the man dropped the product at the dock door, the dock attendant signed the freight bill, and then proceeded to make his way back west, towards home in Wisconsin. After about an hour of driving back, he decided to grab a bite to eat, and take a nap in the back of his delivery van.
Eight hours later, he woke up, and felt numbness and tingling on the right side of his body. He exclaimed, shit, what did I do? sleep the wrong way? Thinking that sometimes when you sleep the wrong way, your hand, leg or foot might be tingling because while you lie in a certain position you actually cut off blood circulation to that extremity. And, when you wake up, you exercise or flex the muscles in that extremity to get the blood flowing again, and the numbness and tingling wears off.
He exits the delivery van, steps onto the pavement, closes the van's side door and tries to walk to the driver's side of the van, his right side is totally numb, no feeling whatsoever, dragging his right foot on the ground. He makes several attempts to enter the driver's side to get behind the wheel, with failure, due to numbness and weakness of the right side. He feels dizzy and his vision is slightly blurred. One more attempt, and he finally crashes onto the driver's seat behind the wheel. The man tries to pick up the ignition key and it falls from his hand onto the floor. He reaches down several times before he finally grabs it and places it into the ignition on the steering column. He grabs a bottle of water and downs two aspirins because he still has the splitting headache, neck ache and shoulder aches he had when he decided to take his nap.
Good, he gets the van started. Places it in drive, and heads for the closest rest area-service plaza to evaluate what has occurred.
In the service plaza, he opens the door, slides out of the seat to til his feet hit pavement. He hobbles inside for a coffee and a sandwich, headache and body aches dissipated now.
He realizes he has had a stroke. Not severe enough to totally cripple his motor abilities or thought process, but the effects are lingering on.
During the drive back to home, he cannot pick up change to pay tolls, he hands attendants paper money to pay the tolls, getting fuel to make it back was easier to do. He used cruise control to manage the speed becuse with lack being able to judge how much his body weight had to press on the accelerator stiff legged, it was difficult to manage.
After arriving home, he doesn't tell anyone what happened, not even his wife, until the next morning, and when he did tell her, she was in tears. She went to work crying.
When she came home from work, she just about ordered him into the car for a trip to ER.
In the ER, the man's BP was somewhere in the range of 245 over 175. ER doctors immediately began IV's and inoculations of drugs to lower his BP. He was admitted. In the coming day, he was given a CAT scan. It confirmed what the ER doctors thought, a broken blood vessel in his brain caused the stroke.
To evaluate his disability, he was seen by several specialists. He applied for SS disability, and even after the SS admins. doctor, they still turned down his disability claim. He decided to hire an attorney to fight for his benefits.
He won, but it took two years. In the mean time, he and his wife lost their vehicles, lost the house and most all the property they own. Foreclosure and repossession was now the new norm.
I'm not a religious person, but, my thoughts, prayers and hopes are with you and your father. I hope he pulls though with only a minor disability. Rehabilitation, physical therapy will be the key to recovery.
How am I doing now? About the same, technology helped me type this post, although I haven't gotten that much better, the numbness and paralyzation in still prevalent, lack of dexterity of the right hand and fingers, and sometimes the residual pain accompanies the other symptoms. But, it's good to be alive.
renate
(13,776 posts)Or over the course of a day. What a tough journey it's been for you and your wife... but I'm happy to read the last sentence of your story.
BobUp
(347 posts)I truly hope that others with similar circumstances didn't go through what we've experienced.
Now, if I would have had some sort of a health care plan, like the ACA, we probably wouldn't have needed to go the route. This is really something single people need to consider because I believe that most young people don't ever think about becoming ill or sick. Never think of it because they figure they're young and invincible.
But, I never realized that I had healthcare free of charge because of my military service, which is available for me to this very day. I'd forgotten about my original enlistment terms. Instead of having to pay nearly $50,000.00 for treatment of the stroke, I could have driven myself to the nearest VA hospital, where they could have treated me, free of charges.
renate
(13,776 posts)To transfer your care to the VA? I can't imagine how frustrating it must be to realize that everything you've been through (other than the medical stuff, of course) could have been avoided.
the VA & private doctors do not and will not intermingle with each other. I was allowed to obtain my medical records for a price ($25.00 for a copy) to hand to my VA doctor she she could read it and interpret diagnosis, treatments and medications.
Let's say you had a private doctor, and the doctor wrote you a prescription. You are not able to have that prescription filled by a VA pharmacy.
I most recently found out that on an emergency basis, a VA doctor can order a prescription for a vet, and the vet can have the prescription filled at either WalMart or Shopko pharmacies.
I have to get on reading this thread with news from Laydeebug to see if her dad is ok, I truly hope he is, she made him sound like a fighter.
Demo_Chris
(6,234 posts)shenmue
(38,506 posts)PowerToThePeople
(9,610 posts)Kingofalldems
(38,444 posts)Sienna86
(2,149 posts)To you and your dad.
TeeYiYi
(8,028 posts)TYY
LiberalEsto
(22,845 posts)cherokeeprogressive
(24,853 posts)intaglio
(8,170 posts)spanone
(135,816 posts)etherealtruth
(22,165 posts)My mom had a two strokes in October (she recovered) ... I know the "all alone feeling"
Happyhippychick
(8,379 posts)I'm hoping for the best for your dad.
diabeticman
(3,121 posts)before Christmas. We are amazed that she has manage to hang on for the holidays. There really is nothing that the doctors can't do but make her comfortable.
I am here if you need to talk.
CherokeeDem
(3,709 posts)I just lost my mother and I know how difficult this time can be. We entered the hospital not knowing she was as ill as she was and those hours waiting to see what was going to happen were very difficult.
I wish your father peace and hope that you have him for as long as you can.
He and my mom would have gotten along...she yelled about those Republicans, too.
Peace to you and your family.
Tom Rinaldo
(22,912 posts)Nothing can take away the love you have shared.
MineralMan
(146,286 posts)For what it's worth, my own father was in a similar condition, with bleeding into his brain. He was given no chance of ever leaving the hospital alive. That was last January. I recently visited with my mom and dad just before Christmas and, at 89, they're doing pretty darned well. He has made a virtually complete recovery.
livetohike
(22,138 posts)rurallib
(62,406 posts)about "those damn Republicans" also.
Sounds like he is a great guy and you have been lucky to have him.
Sadly death visits all of us.
Arcanetrance
(2,670 posts)City Lights
(25,171 posts)Douglas Carpenter
(20,226 posts)things once can go through
MissMillie
(38,548 posts)and for LaydeeBug too. This can't be an easy thing to go through.
mstinamotorcity2
(1,451 posts)Tell Dad we won't give up the fight until the last hungry person is fed. We won't give up until the last person without a home is no longer homeless. We won't give up until the economic reality means that everyone will not fall below the safety net of Humanity. It is the greatest way to say Thank you for helping us in this life. Or its just my way. Tell him I said Thank you. Hope he gets better. And if he doesn't, We will be fighting with the legacy of love he leaves us for strength. Peace.
Buns_of_Fire
(17,174 posts)JNelson6563
(28,151 posts)I've been in the very spot you are now. You ARE lucky to have had him and that is what will remain once your wave of grief passes. There will come a time when you speak of him and only smile, I promise.
Until then, take good care.
Julie
Pathwalker
(6,598 posts)In my heart, I am hugging you, right now.
ladyVet
(1,587 posts)My daddy had to go to the hospital Friday, he was having chest pains. We spent over ten hours there, before it was decided he had sprained some muscles getting out of his recliner earlier in the week. His blood pressure was very high, but it had come down a lot by the time we left.
It was so hard sitting outside the triage room, listening to my strong daddy -- who had hardly ever been sick in his life -- talking about his symptoms. I shed a few tears, because we know we will lose him soon, maybe another year or two, due to a bone marrow disease.
Of course, he's back at work. He'd go crazy sitting at home. Daddy will be 84 in April.
csziggy
(34,136 posts)Best wishes for his recovery.
Spend as much time with him as you can.
kentuck
(111,078 posts)at this difficult time.
Egalitarian Thug
(12,448 posts)joeybee12
(56,177 posts)Uncle Joe
(58,348 posts)Peace, strength and healing to you, LaydeeBug.
NaturalHigh
(12,778 posts)arthritisR_US
(7,286 posts)go through the coming hours. Doesn't matter how old we are, our parents are so dear and special to us. I hope he recovers, vicars don't have crystal balls.
madaboutharry
(40,204 posts)My father died from a stroke. I miss him every day. He was my best friend my whole life. And I know in my heart that he wouldn't have wanted to make it. He was a strong independent man, a real "man's man" and he would have been miserable. I always took solace in that he didn't suffer.
MrsKirkley
(180 posts)life long demo
(1,113 posts)I'll say prayers for your Daddy and for you. No matter what the outcome, he will always be looking after you. I know that because my Daddy is still looking after me and I'm 70, and he has been in heaven for 57 years.
Please let us know how he is doing.
kiawah
(64 posts)winter is coming
(11,785 posts)Yo_Mama
(8,303 posts)I'm so sorry, LaydeeBug.
mike_c
(36,281 posts)Andy823
(11,495 posts)I know it's hard. My wife's mother died in October 2013 from a stroke and it's been very hard on my wife. We took care or her for 20 years, 14 of them after her first stroke, and she had several others during those years up till her last one three months ago.
Lifelong Protester
(8,421 posts)and offer my best wishes for a positive outcome.
TwilightGardener
(46,416 posts)LaydeeBug
(10,291 posts)WISHES.
I am broken right now.
i know I am still in shock. To top it off, I have my lunatic sister on my couch (aside: we do NOT have a "warm/fuzzy" relationship. She has burned all of her bridges and can stay on a day by day basis *only*, and has been a constant hinderance...I can't even tell you)
He is battling a pulmonary embolism and a stroke. The treatments for each exacerbate the other, so it's only wait and see.
Savannahmann
(3,891 posts)I pray that everything continues to work out. As far as your Sister is concerned, perhaps this will build a new bridge and allow you to reconnect.
renate
(13,776 posts)What a shame that you have to deal with a difficult person at a time like this. Not a good time for extra stress.
Hoping your dad is continuing to improve....
BobUp
(347 posts)I know exactly what you're saying Laydeebug, exactly. I went through the same stuff w/my 1/2 sister, my mom wanted to choke her when my dad was in the ICU. Her (1/2 sister) thoughts of what does dad have for savings, assets, material things that might be liquidated so she could acquire her share. I wanted to kill her. She hadn't see dad for 12 years, and out of the blue, she shows up with her hand out.
I'm hoping and praying for your dad to recover, and that you stay strong, stay strong.
davidpdx
(22,000 posts)If he goes, I hope he goes peacefully. It sounds like he's still got a good chance though. All you can do is be there for there for him and hold his hand. He will know you are there.
I lost my father over 10 years ago to a stroke and that one wasn't his first. He had his first one when he was 42 and lost motor function and speech. Over the years he had several other small ones. Then I happened to be down visiting my mom when he had the stroke that (eventually) killed him. After two weeks in the hospital they said there was no way he'd recover and we (my siblings and I made the choice to let him go).
WillyT
(72,631 posts)Response to LaydeeBug (Original post)
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