Velveeta at the end of the world - Mark Morford
Did you hear? More than one-third of shockingly not-very-bright Americans – mostly Republicans, Tea Partiers and perhaps a handful of encephalitic waterfowl – outwardly reject the scientific fact of evolution, as meanwhile climate change has fully taken hold, extreme weather is the new normal, the oceans are rising and there is simply no denying any of it, with the notable exception of all the tragically unevolved people who do.
Do you know what this means? This means, of course, that millions of deteriorating Americans are more desperate than ever to ignore the fundamentals of reality and instead pour large, simmering buckets of revolting liquid cheese straight into their self-hating colons.
It means, more specifically, that many of them are terribly worried there might not be enough Velveeta cheese dip to go around (fake shortage scare!) when they watch their favorite teams of giant, homoerotic males give each other permanent brain damage and call it “patriotic” and “exciting” and “NFL football.” True story!
We are here to link it all together. We are here, in this fine column, in this fine year of 2014, to suss out the meanings and the trends, the similarities and the flagrant weirdness, and try to make some sense of it all, even if no sense is to be had. Because this is what we do, never mind the fact that it cannot really be done.
The rest: http://blog.sfgate.com/morford/2014/01/14/velveeta-at-the-end-of-the-world/