How to write an OP in GD that sinks like a stone

[Fumesucker]

1) Avoid snarky and divisive titles

2) Don't broad brush groups

3) Be serious and at least try to see more than one perspective

4) Avoid personal attacks on other DUers

5) Post about something other than the current GD obsession du jour

That's my top five, what are your hints and tips for writing OPs that are guaranteed to drop into total obscurity?

[MineralMan]

1. That's a pretty good list of points.

I can't think of anything to add to it.

Sinking posts on DU are easy to create, but some of the best posts on DU sink. I read those, too.

[randome]

2. Post the 26th OP on a subject that's already well represented.

[hr][font color="blue"][center]The truth doesn’t always set you free.
Sometimes it builds a bigger cage around the one you’re already in.[/center][/font][hr]

[L0oniX]

22. WOO ...DAMNIT ALL! You want me sick Skittles on yer ass?

[randome]

25. You're always sicking somebody on somebody's ass!

And I'm damned tired of it!
[hr][font color="blue"][center]Stop looking for heroes. BE one.[/center][/font][hr]

[quinnox]

3. alright, here is a few more pointers

Write a post making a definitive statement. Don't ask for other opinions or viewpoints.

Write a mega-long post, that most people will take a quick look at the wall of text, say forget it, and quickly move on.

Write the most boring headline you can think of.

[OilemFirchen]

4. Use nuance, objectivity and invoke pragmatism.

Nobody likes authoritarianism.

[Coyotl]

5. Post anything in GD and watch it sink.

Some days it seems there is a thread in DU for every thought that day.

[Bluenorthwest]

6. Sticking to the SOP of GD is certain thread death

Also, any discussion of actual Democratic politics is frowned upon.

[pampango]

7. Related to your 3 & 4, don't post "I see your point but mine is a little different."

And do not rely too heavily on facts, statistics or use too many blue links. Better is "I'm right and you're an idiot (or an 'apologist' or a 'purist', etc.)" with nothing to back it up other than fear and emotion - of course, using a suitable emoticon to 'prove' your point.

[lame54]

8. post it under the name lame54

[quinnox]

10. lol!

[MineralMan]

18. Or MineralMan

[Blanks]

34. I hear you. My threads typically sink too. eom

[NYC_SKP]

9. MRA and RKBA and 4th Generation Feministas, only one group is ever not 99% bat shit crazy.

Trying for the trifecta of non-sinking post titles.

What am I missing?

[SMC22307]

11. Post something other than cutesy Facebook graphics. (n/t)

[randome]

12. Egregious grammar errors.

Sure, it's not essential to be perfect but when the post makes one's mind stumble, the intent is often lost.
[hr][font color="blue"][center]I'm always right. When I'm wrong I admit it.
So then I'm right about being wrong.[/center][/font][hr]

[TalkingDog]

14. Wouldn't that be: Egregious grammatical errors?

Sorry, couldn't resist

[randome]

19. Ha! Right you are!

[hr][font color="blue"][center]Don't ever underestimate the long-term effects of a good night's sleep.[/center][/font][hr]

[Mass]

13. Write a post about poverty (and not about the GOP's treatment of poverty).

People here love talking about poverty when it helps bashing the GOP (bashing the GOP seems to be a major activity), but talking about issues concerning poverty and not just repeating talking points is a sure way to sink the thread.

[treestar]

15. We definitely do reward the divisive posters

With responses. They know it and that's why they do it.

[Fumesucker]

28. You Better Believe It Graham4Anything

[intheflow]

54. Yes, we preach not to feed the trolls,

but we seem unable to stop throwing them huge slabs of shit to eat.

[librechik]

16. wait--aren't those all the things that make a post popular?

huh--oh, I see what you did there!

[MineralMan]

17. I thought of another one:

6) Don't be concerned with the number of DURecs your post will gather.

[Fumesucker]

23. 7) Pry the "Enter" key off your keyboard

[MineralMan]

24. Ah, yes. Paragraphs do matter.

It's so tedious, though, deciding when to press "Enter," don't you find?

[L0oniX]

20. How to write an OP in GD that stays on top...

...post pictures of Obama and say how dignified and presidential he looks. Does that still work?

[Aldo Leopold]

41. Haha!

Works every time!

[Blue_In_AK]

21. Mine almost always sink like a stone,

so I don't bother doing OPs.

[intheflow]

55. Mine, too.

And I rarely post for the same reason. If I truly feel I've written an OP I think DU needs to consider, I pm people I know are allies and ask them to read it and rec it if they also think it's something that should be read. Of course, you've gotten some of those pms from me.

[sarge43]

26. Don't mention President Obama. n/t

[lumberjack_jeff]

27. I don't think that expressing a point of view is bad.

The point of dialectic is discussing the merit of opposing positions.

The opposite of dialog is monolog. Articulating both halves of a conversation may be artful and self-gratifying, but it doesn't require any participation on anyone else's part.

Now you're supposed to say "Huh-uh!".

[MannyGoldstein]

29. "Dog bites man" rather than "man bites dog"

Unless said dog is a pit bull, of course.

[X_Digger]

30. Write an OP that most of DU studiously avoids (like stop and frisk). n/t

[Prophet 451]

31. Back up your points with links to credible sources

Write something long, like 3-6,000 words long.
Write about something most people don't want to think about (such as prisons).

[Egalitarian Thug]

57. Daily Kos is the place for that kind of work.

I had never read TLDR before hanging here.

[Barack_America]

33. Substantive posts don't fare well. Nt

[LeftofObama]

35. I'll just put my reply right here.

Now just sit back and watch your thread die. My replies tend to do that to threads.

[Fumesucker]

36. Where is Skittles when I need her?

[malthaussen]

37. Sounds about right.

Most of my OPs have, in the words of my friend David Hume, fallen "dead-born from the Press." I would add, though, that time of posting may make a difference, too.

-- Mal

[pangaia]

38. My god, what a boring post..

[eggplant]

39. I AM NOT SHOUTING!

All right, I am! I'm shouting, I'm shouting, I'm shout... *thud*

[Warren DeMontague]

40. 6) Good News about basically anything.

http://www.nbcnews.com/business/less-juice-home-electricity-use-falling-2001-levels-2D11820933

[klook]

42. Write a headline that makes sense.

It's always better to write one that says something like, "OK, I finally lost it" or "Yeah, right, OK, what the fuck EVER" or "Are You Fricken Kidding Me???!!?"

The last example is a double whammy, because it could generate an animated sub-thread on the topic of "Fricken" vs. "Frickin'" vs. "Friggin'" etc.

Another way for your OP to sink like a stone: Don't enrage any DUers. Righteous indignation is our favorite snack food.

[DBoon]

43. Use "Kudzu" in the title

... it's going places

[A HERETIC I AM]

46. Unless there are Goats involved

http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2013/jul/16/goat-heaven-guard-dogs-watch-over-kudzu-eating/

[MrScorpio]

44. My satire stuff sinks pretty quickly

Like a rock

[cloudbase]

45. Begin your OP with

You're an asshole if you don't. . .

Am I the only one who. . .?

Can you believe these jury results?

[defacto7]

47. That's a good observation...

To boil it down...

Posting on this site is received as entertainment and treated as a popularity contest by it's constituents.

But that's what most of the web is considered these days and since people involved in Internet society like to be titillated, I don't see it changing very soon.

[bullwinkle428]

49. When OPs provide more light than heat, they tend to sink like stones.

I'm totally familiar with those!

[Spitfire of ATJ]

50. 6) proclaim dog supremacy over cats.

[progressoid]

51. Do not post a cute picture of an adorable animal.

[defacto7]

52. Be sure to exclude the word

"Sex" in any form or any body part that may be considered sexually attractive or any sexual act that may be considered taboo. That will assure it doesn't pop to the top for no apparent reason.

[defacto7]

53. Don't write an OP called...

"How to write an OP in GD that sinks like a stone"

[Egalitarian Thug]

56. Economics specifically, but any other topic that will actually effect the lives of everybody here.

Any story that points to the fact that we are at all responsible for allowing rampant criminality, especially when the perpetrator wears the blue jersey.

Any thread that suggests that the comfortable help to sustain injustice.

[Major Nikon]

58. Kick

[frazzled]

59. Don't use any smilies

And write more than 14 words.

[jtuck004]

60. Interesting that I didn't see this till I went digging a month later...

The shiny stuff is deep.

Could be just a list run and posted every day (might already be). Messages sorted by their daily ranking, once every 24 hours, starting with the lowest one. It would be interesting to see what fell down, minus the chaff (deleted names, etc).

Maybe sometime I will look at search options and see if that's possible by a mortal.