Family promise gave life to man in 31-year coma

[Jesus Malverde]

Paul Cortez can remember the night 31 years ago as clearly as if it was last week. He had walked into the pediatric intensive care unit of Riverside County Regional Medical Center to find his 7-year-old son, Mikey, barely clinging to life.

Bandages were covering his little body, seemingly from head to toe. Wires and tubes attached to machines were keeping him alive.

Doctors told Cortez that Mikey might not make it. A drunken driver had smashed into the car carrying the boy and relatives, sending four of them, including his mother, brother and sister, to other hospitals. Four other relatives, including Mikey's oldest brother, were dead.

Not knowing what to do, Paul Cortez got down on his knees and, with Mikey's hand in his, made a promise to God: If his son somehow survived, whatever the condition, he and his family would always be there for him.

http://www.sfgate.com/news/us/article/Family-promise-gave-life-to-man-in-31-year-coma-5174530.php

Amazing family

[elleng]

1. "Did it get harder?" his mother said. "No. It just got different."

Thanks

[kestrel91316]

2. I'm glad he finally passed. I'm horrified at the thought he might have been

aware in some way of his horrible situation.

If that ever happens to me, people, please stop feeding me and giving me water so I can just die.

[bravenak]

3. I feel the same way.

I've told my husband and my mother not to keep me on life support or feed me if I'm a vegetable or brain dead. I love living, but that's not living.

[Squinch]

4. Your stated wishes do no good. You need to put it in writing, and you need to be very

careful about your instructions about any post-op care. Hospitals like to cook their numbers, so if you are dying after you have had a surgery, they will keep you alive by whatever means for a prescribed period so they can keep you off their surgical-failure stats.

Do the paperwork, or your husband and mother will not be allowed to follow your wishes.

[bravenak]

5. WTF?!? Are you serious??

I will start looking into that immediately. I never knew that about hospitals. I'm going to talk to my doctor on my next visit and ask about how I would make a plan and in the meantime I'll do some research. You just scared me.
I have a friend whose wife has been in a coma for 10 years, they were legally separated at the time and her mother was the next of kin. He lost 2 of his 3 daughters in the accident and his surviving child is having a hard time dealing with this situation. She can't move on with her life until her mother is buried, but she feels guilty like she wants her dead. I will not put my kids through that if I can help it.

[Squinch]

6. Totally serious. My mother had all the paperwork in place - living will, advanced directive, DNR -

all of it. At 86 she had a surgery. After the surgery she had two strokes and then went into a comatose state.

We asked that she be taken off the respirator according to her wishes. A major New York trauma hospital said they couldn't because by law they needed to provide post-operative treatment.

Then we said, "Fine, we'll move her to hospice so we can take her off the machines." The hospital said, "You can't take her to hospice to take her off the machine because we don't have the portable respirator that you can use in the ambulance to get her to hospice so you can get her off the respirator."

We had to wait two days to get the portable respirator to take her to hospice where could take her off the respirator.

I learned later that the time in the ICU waiting for the portable respirator was just enough that they could list her as having survived the surgery.

Coincidence? Hah!

[bravenak]

7. I see what they did there.

That's some messed up shit. Numbers, numbers, numbers. That's all we are to them. I'm sorry they did that to you, they made a hard time even worse.

[Squinch]

8. Thank you. And yes, we are nothing but numbers. On the other hand, I had an aunt who

died a month earlier. She had bad congestive heart failure, and they wanted to put in a pacemaker to jolt her back if she had an episode. She said, "No way, I'm not putting myself on that hospital end-of-life treadmill!" Her doctors gave her a hard time but she hung tough. She died at home, surrounded by her friends, while having a nice glass of single malt scotch.

Guess whose example I'm going to follow?

[bravenak]

9. That's how I want to go out. I want a good exit at home with people who love me.

I hope I die smoking a fatty and reading a book. A good book.

[Squinch]

10. .

Here's hoping for that for both of us.

[kestrel91316]

14. I like the way the Amish do it. They keep their elderly at home, living life to the fullest.

And when it's their time to die, everyone accepts it and handles it with grace and compassion.

[Jim Lane]

15. Do you have a will?

There's no harm in talking with your doctor, but if you have a will, you should talk with the attorney who drafted it. He or she should be able to provide you with an end-of-life directive and health care proxy that conform to your state's laws.

If you don't have a will, and you want one (it can definitely save some hassles after you're gone), the attorney who drafts it for you can probably throw in those other things at little or no additional cost.

[kestrel91316]

13. I don't have a husband or mother. My sister knows full well how I feel and

we both felt the same about my mom's care in her final years.

If I wind up incapacitated, The hospital will have a real fight on their hands wresting control of me from my next-of-kin in order to keep my corpse breathing or keep me fed if I am in a vegetative state.

Next-of-kin gets medical power of attorney, not some corporation.

[LeftyMom]

11. I didn't know Weekend at Bernie's was a documentary.

That's amazing all right. Amazingly creepy.

[El_Johns]

12. I think it's rather great what that family did. But I also think the patient was getting too much

tube feeding, too many fluids, and not enough physical therapy.