Being a poor woman

[Tree-Hugger]

I have written about my family's struggle with poverty a few times here at DU. Things are so bad that I am thisclose to resorting to internet panhandling.

People in my life know I am poor. One thing that strikes me is the difference in suggestions for me and my husband.

My husband is always told to keep his chin up, keep looking for better employment, keep hoping, work hard.

The suggestions for me? Strip. Have you thought about porn? What about a webcam show where you show some skin.

Never once has anyone suggested that my husband sell his body in a sexual manner. Not once. I get those suggestions twice a week or more. I have been told by "friends" that I don't want to see my children out if poverty and I'm selfish because I will not strip or do porn.

That's fucked up.

[LiberalEsto]

1. That is outrageous!

I would drop these losers out of my life permanently.

May you receive blessings of abundance and prosperity.

[Tree-Hugger]

3. I did. They are gone

Just did a sweep of my Facebook.

Thank you for the good thoughts.

[ann---]

26. Why would

you post about such person things on Facebook. I am SO glad I don't go there any more. It's a stage for exhibitionists.

[Tree-Hugger]

27. These are offline friends

These are "offline" friends - though we communicated via Facebook often. I just meant I deleted them off my facebook, out of my life, etc.

I will say, though, that it's no secret that we struggle. I am not ashamed to admit I am poor. While I don't go into great detail on my Facebook, with exception of private messages, I also don't take great pains to hide my struggle with poverty.

I'm not an exhibitionist.

[Scuba]

2. I agree. Thats FUBAR.

Vibes to you and your family.

[Tree-Hugger]

4. Thank you nt

[raging moderate]

5. I apologize to you on behalf of the people of the United States of America.

You deserve better. Much, much better.

Keep your chin up, keep looking for better employment, keep hoping, keep working hard, and don't believe the bad things some people are saying about you.

Thank you for your courage and your perseverance. Your children will thank you for it, and they will profit by your good example.

[Tree-Hugger]

9. Thank you for that. :) nt

[Lost_Count]

6. Seems like you need a better class of associates...

[Tree-Hugger]

10. They're gone

Sadly, being poor is isolating because a lot of people eventually show their true colors or abandon you because the stress of your life is too exhausting.

I don't have time for assholes, so assholes don't get to stay in my life.

[Triana]

7. WTH.

That's ridiculous! I'm so sorry for your situation and I hope you don't let those ignorant idiots affect you too much - or feel that your choices are limited to....that.

[Tree-Hugger]

11. Thank you :) nt

[PassingFair]

12. You need different people in your life.

Seriously.
If they make suggestions like that, they are not worth knowing.

[Tree-Hugger]

15. They are gone

I don't hang on to people like that.

[HangOnKids]

13. Your husband should tell those assholes to STFU

Why hasn't he?

[Tree-Hugger]

14. He would

These are friends of mine that I typically see when he is working....which is what he is always doing.

[HangOnKids]

16. Your OP makes it sound like these are FaceBook buddies

Now you say you see these people while he is working. You spend face time with these people...really? Regardless, Tree-Hugger would you really have people believe that these "friends" say these horrible things to you and you don't share that information with your man? You share it on a public message board but not with your husband?

[Tree-Hugger]

17. Whete did I say that in my OP?

Please direct me to the part of my OP where I said these were "facebook buddies? " I mentioned in a comment that I did a sweep of my Facebook....which is typical when you no longer have a relationship with a person. I don't know about you, but I have many friends who I see offline that I also talk to on Facebook. It's the way Facebook works.

Also, where did I say I do not share information with my man? As I said, he does not see them socially and did not hear these particular comments "live," but in no way did I say I don't share this info with him. Perhaps you misunderstand my OP?

Exactly what is your problem?

[ladyVet]

18. Ack! What horrible, unthinking things to say!

But, it goes to show how women are perceived in our society -- we can always spread our legs for money, right?

Good for you for not suffering the fools.

I was born poor, and except for a couple of brief periods have lived poor. I'll most likely die poor. Sucks, but such is life.

I made some poor choices -- the worst one being not getting a better education -- and I've paid for them. I've tried not to let my children suffer because of my life, but there's only so much you can do. They have to make their own choices eventually, you can only hope they do better.

[Tree-Hugger]

20. I talked to a friend about this

She is an advocate for the homeless and for food insecure families. Anyway, she says quite a few women have shared similar stories. I, personally, do not have a problem with strippers. I don't think it makes you a bad person or anything like that. However, it's not the right choice for me and for several reasons. And there are some out there who think you're not doing enough if you won't consider it.

I hope your situation gets a lot better.

To speak to your regret about education - poverty is happening to those with great educations. I have a college degree and a professional license (expired because I couldn't afford renewal as well as the continuing education credits needed to maintain a license) and I'm still in this situation. It sucks all around.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

19. DU Rec

:kick:

[Mr Dixon]

21. IMO

That sucks; I hope things get better for you however the outlook is grim IMO. Unless you work 3 slave wage jobs in retail I just don’t see much else out there, the job creators have the upper hand and they are underpaying everyone. IMO stick to your guns.

[Tree-Hugger]

22. My husband works 3 slave wage jobs in retail

He is definitely underpaid for what he does. It's depressing when you think about it.

I keep voting for and encouraging people to vote for folks who will work to raise the damn minimum wage.

[Mr Dixon]

23. So Sorry

IMO that is not going to happen, the system is playing it's self out as we live and breath, they want us all working 3 jobs with no benefits, they want a renter society. The only way i see to combat the system is to ban together families and pool our resources. We need to abandon our go it on our own mentality and adapt a banned together thought process. Do you have family that you can move end with that could be a start even if it's in another state. As long as we are separated, the system will continue to eat us alive.

[Tree-Hugger]

24. No where else to move at the moment

Though I definitely believe in sticking together and working together.

[Spirochete]

25. That's the best ideas they could come up with?

Strip? Do porn? Sheesh, you'd think they'd suggest buying and selling things on e-bay or something. They may be trying to help, but they sound like idiots. And you can bet if you took their suggestions, these same "friends" would be talking about how horrible you were behind your back. They're less than zero help.

I sure hope your situation improves soon somehow. On a fixed income myself, I know being poor is no fun.

[Tree-Hugger]

28. In their own way they are trying to help, I guess

It's not the first time someone suggested it. What ticked me off the most this time was that it was said that I was "sefish" for choosing not to do it - that I didn't want to get my kids of poverty. I just thought that was low.

[raging moderate]

29. You are right. Those are dangerous things to do.

Perhaps some women manage to emerge from those activities unscathed, but many others find themselves, and their families, the focus of very unsavory attention indeed.