My mom and dad passed away on Nov. 8 and Nov. 11, 2013.
It's been almost impossible for me to talk about it, since not a second passes that I don't miss them, and deal with the shock of having to spend the rest of my life without having them to call, talk to, take out to eat, buy things for, laugh with, and spend time with. I've cried so much I'm surprised I am still able to cry. I cry in the car, cry in the bathroom at work, cry myself to sleep. I've spent the past 3 months going through the motions of working, talking, functioning, and behaving as if I had it all together, but I don't. Inside me there's a turmoil, pain, and an incredible, heavy sadness.
They were the most wonderful parents, and that makes it all the more painful. I was truly lucky to have them as long as I did, but that doesn't provide any solace.
And today, Valentine's Day, I'm having an incredibly difficult time dealing with it all. Christmas and New Years I spent in a state of numbness, as if someone had severed nerves in my body. I barely noticed them because of how numb I felt. The holidays came and went as if they had not come at all. I could've been pierced with a lance, and wouldn't have felt it. For some reason though, Valentine's Day is proving to be excrutiatingly painful for me, and I don't even know why. It is the first holiday I'm fully aware of since mom and dad left me, and I feel a sense of isolation like never before, and wish that they could come back.
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and we're here for you, Sarah.
No wonder you feel the way you do.
Esp. if there was little or no warning.
You might consider getting into a bereavement type of group where you wouldn't be alone with this awful shock. I understand from people who've been there that these groups can be very helpful.
Time will heal you, but until it does, you will probably need support.
Losing a parent is devastating, but losing two of them so close together like you have is overwhelming. This sounds hokey, but they ARE with you. You carry their spirits and all the memories you shared over the years. I know it's not quite the same as having a physical presence, but they are with you every other way. I hope you can find support of loved ones and friends, because it sounds like you need a hug and just someone to be there with you physically through your pain.
I lost my parents many years ago, four years apart. I miss them every day, even after all this time.
You are not alone in your struggles to deal with your loss. The holidays are rough on me, even after two decades, but the pain is no longer debilitating.
Everyone grieves at his or her own pace, but please consider talking to a grief counselor. Three months is not a long time, I know, but having someone to talk to might help.
In the meantime, please accept this internet hug from someone who has been there. It's not much, but you are not alone.
It must have been such a shock. It's funny but that shock and numbness was really protecting you. Now that the shock is wearing off it is difficult. Do talk with someone like a grief counselor if it gets to be too much. There are people who can help.
Best to you.
is the wonderful memories and love you shared with them.
It's something to treasure and hold close to your soul.
I lost my father and not a day goes by when I don't think about him.
When I start to feel sad I think of the memories of the first time
he walked in the house with a new puppy or the
first time he decided to teach me to drive.
We both laughed so hard a few times during that..
And I know my dad wouldn't want me to feel sad everyday .
Please just know that it will get better and there will be times
something you see or hear will remind you of them and it will
be a smile , it won't always be sadness
Hang in there,
and the grief that it brings. I lost mine many years apart so to have a double blow so close together is hard to imagine. Healing wishes to you.
cope with that. Only time can ease the pain and this is so soon. I am so sorry!
the first year will be your first holiday, month, etc without them.
and you lost both of them at the same time which would make it even more difficult. usually many would have one parent who will help and support each other in remembering the other parent .
also while valentines day may mostly be seen as a day with couples celebrating. the childhood memories are usually different and any thoughts of childhood will of course bring your parents to mind.
It serves a purpose. It protects you from that overwhelming pain. It seems unimaginable, but the pain will fade. Until then, we're here for you.
But in some ways you never will. I hope that you have some other family or friends who are staying close to give you some comfort now.
I am glad you felt free to come here and tell us.
I only know that Time does indeed heal. That's not much comfort when you're going through it, just something to remind yourself from time to time.
You're grieving as you should, and there will always be little (and big) things that remind you of them. I can't add anything else without sounding trite, so just know that you're loved here, too
And that's the stuff to remember
Thank you for sharing, too 
Grieve. But take care of yourself. If it becomes overwhelming find someone to talk to. I never thought it would help me but it did.
Meanwhile, as you can see, you have the support and good thoughts of so many of us here at DU.
Many from we at DU
and I noticed that the dates you posted are the birthdates of my FIL and Father respectively.
What a coincidence
and to have both parents go so close to each other...no wonder you are so sad and numb.
Do you keep a journal? I know that many writers are helped by journaling and maybe
writing down all the memories, feelings, thoughts that you have about your parents
may help you as you live through this awful grief and loss.
Just a thought. And if you are a reader, Meghan O'Rourke has written a beautiful memoir that you might find interesting.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/27/weekinreview/27grief.html?adxnnl=1&pagewanted=all&adxnnlx=1387883170-/kFF8UwbKrE0FSlwEfdcAw&_r=0
Sorry. This will take time, and holidays will probably be the worst.
I wish I could hug you.
I've only lost grandparents so far but my husband's parents passed within 8 months of each other. I think that happens with many older couples who have been together a very long time. I know it still hurts even though they led long lives, and I hope you are able to find someone to talk to about it. Is there a sibling or cousin who remembers them that you could talk to? It is hard keeping such pain inside. Lots of hugs for you.
You must grieve and you must do it in your own way, in your own time and for as long you need to.
I lost my mom in October and the pain and feelings of loss are profound and disorienting, still.
It is a process, a journey and there is hope in that there will be healing.
I hope you have a companion to help comfort you, I hope you do not have to bear the worst of it alone.
and know you have many brothers and sisters here who understand and care.
Take all the time you need to deal with your grief.
I am so sorry.
Unfortunately I know too well how hard this day has been for you. This is the day set aside for love and the ones we love and cherish the most aren't here.
I've never had a father as mine deserted us when I was six days old so my Mum as always both to me. Losing her this past year has been excruciating and this day horribly so.
I know the tears because they seem a constant and when they are not there it's just because they are at bay. I know in my heart that things will get better. Know this, you are not alone and we are thinking of you and sending you love and warm hugs. Please take care of yourself
in such a short space of time
I can't imagine losing both parents within days of each other. I am so, so sorry.
There is a bereavement group on DU. http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=forum&id=1234
Neither of them had to suffer the loss of the other and continue living alone.
I think that many couples who have been together many years cannot imagine continue living without the other.
Grieve to them as long and as hard as you need. We each grieve in our own way. Mostly, though cherish the memories. Cherish the love that they gave you and that you acutely feel on Valentine Day. These are the forever lasting gifts that they gave you.
May their memories be blessed.
Be gentle with yourself. Don't be brave....wimp out of battles that don't absolutely need to be fought. And if there's a battle that must be fought, you can fight dirty with your grief. It's allowed.
Losing both parents in such a short time, it may take you four years, but you will survive. Keep the best of your parents alive, and be glad for their gifts to you. Forgive the rest.
You aren't alone.
but I am glad that you are able to verbalize your loss and reach out to your DU friends. You are not alone, and I hope things improve for you as time passes.
It is hard to be an orphan, no matter our age. I lost one parent to murder and another to a car accident - both at very young ages. Sometimes, the universe is so very cruel in its randomness. I wish you peace and comfort and know that you are not alone in your grief or wishing for them to come back. I find comfort in writing my memories down and dreaming of them with the grandchildren they never knew or met. And in reminiscing about them with family and friends who also knew them for their short times on this earth. My thoughts are with you - cry and grieve as much as your body tells you that you need to - the only way through it is through it - there is no way around it. 
I, too, have lost both of my parents. And holidays are the worst.
It never goes away, it just becomes manageable (the sadness). And I try really hard not to be jealous of folks my age who have one or both parents still around.
I just want to give you a hug-I know it is too soon to say 'it'll get better' but it does.
I dealt with similar feelings when I lost my parents. It doesn't matter how long you have your parents. You always want more time. There is, if your experience is like mine, little solace to be had in the first year. Even the minor holidays and events (Sunday dinner, watching the Oscars, the opening home game in baseball) evoked painful feelings and longing. I can't tell you that it won't be difficult. I can promise you that it does get better. There will come a time when you can think of your parents without crying. There will be a day when a cherished memory brings a smile to your face. Until that time, be kind and gentle with yourself. I wish you peace.
Take whatever time you need to grieve. Cherish your memories and your photographs.
I am so very sorry for your loss. My parents died three weeks apart in 2008 and it still hurts. They are in my heart and in my life all the time. I know that it doesn't help much at this point to tell you that in time, it will be less painful. But you will have their love touching you every minute of every day. Allow yourself to grieve fully, and a little while from now you will think of them and smile.
I've lost both my parents 15 years apart and still miss them...you get periods of time when you just think it's so unfair but you have to realise that you were lucky to have them and think positively ... I had a dream after my mother passed over that I came home and she was there at the sink washing dishes and I said mum "you can't be here "and she said "no one needs to know" .i don't know what it meant but i always tear up when I remember it. All the best wishes and just remember the good stuff...it gets easier eventually ...I hope you have other family members to make it easier for you....again all the best
Just hugs & encouragement.
Julie
Your family must have been incredibly close. They are together. And they didn't suffer. They would want you to know they are fine and it is okay to move on when you are ready. How difficult to lose them unexpectedly and so close together. It takes a piece of you. Don't let it be too big.
when my mother was killed suddenly in a car wreck. My dad was driving the car, but, thankfully, my dad turned out ok in the long run (after 7 months in the hospital).
But my mother's death was so deeply devastating to me. It's been 34 years now since she died, but it remains one of the biggest hurdles I have ever had to get over in my life. Mother's Day was the worst for me.....and as stupid as it sounds, it still is.
I can so identify with your deep grief, and I wish there was something someone could do to help take away your pain. All of us here would do it if we could, I'm sure. Just know that my heart goes out to you, and I wish you comfort of every sort.
My mother passed a few years ago, so I know the emptiness and sorrow you are feeling. I felt the same way. I thought the loss would consume me forever. It took many months, but I finally was able to move on in my life without her. Soon, your memories of them will take the place of the sadness. You will begin to think of all the good times you had together. And when you do this, smiles will replace your tears and sadness.
Hang in there. If you get to where you can't work or put one foot in front of the other, reach out for help.
Someone like clergy or your family doctor.
.
You face the daunting task of starting over after such a profound loss. Henry Ellis once said: “All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.” Only time will help heal the raw wounds you are feeling, and one day you will find your memories of them will bring comfort instead of pain.
I know it'll happen and I dread that it will, but even without knowing how it feels, yr post brought me to tears....
I hope it eventually starts to get better for you
My Mom passed Nov. 14th '13. That was tough enough, but the fact that she was my surviving parent (Dad passed in '06) made it all that much rougher. I essentially mourned my Dad's passing all over again, it seemed, as I mourned her departure.
I could relate to every single word you've spoken here, and wish you as much comfort as possible in 2014.
Makes me think of something Skittles said once - "someone's always here." This is a good place to discuss and ponder and just sort of be with it. A whole bunch of us are here being with it - with you. You do not mourn alone. Many shoulders for you to lean on here.
Having lost both my parents, I can sympathize. I think many of us here have gone through that, when you reach for the phone and you see your finger automatically starting to punch out that phone number. It was such a reflex I found I didn't even think about. My finger always knew which number to push next. And I always knew how they were gonna answer the phone, what their voices did and said and sounded like. And then it's just not there anymore.
It isn't easy. Holidays always are the worst. And the first of all of these moments is the worst. People told me the first year full of occasions is the most difficult. I always think about the AA proverb: "one day at a time." That's pretty much what is. It's all you have, and it's actually a LOT. Just get through the next hour. And then the next. Just get through the next day. And then the next. Your work on this needn't be any more than that. Seems to me now is the time to be super gentle with yourself. SUPER gentle. Because you're still healing. and you'll be healing for a long time.
And it'll take how-ever long it takes. Don't let anyone rush you or pressure you or put expectations on you about how you should be getting over it by now. Don't even let YOU put any expectations on you. It'll take whatever time it takes. Be good to yourself and gentle with yourself, and come here when you feel shaky. Someone's always here. And there's LOTS of heart here. It's good that you're here. This is an excellent and loving support group. DU will buoy you up.