TREMBLE, MORTALS, AND... BEHOLD!!! THE TABLE OF MORAL DISCUSSABILITY!

[sibelian]

See the Mage of Legitimacy stroke his Beard of Wisdom as he places the Orb of Social Security ON the ancient, cracked slab... lightning flickers dramatically, lending the surroundings a serious, politically charged sort of air and the faces of dispossessed children dance expressionlessly and languidly in the Orb...

FLASH! MY HEAVENS! The Orb comes alive, athrob with a golden, eldritch aura of POLITICAL SIGNIFICANCE! Sparkling, aetheric embers of experienced perspective and attention to context glitter and cavort in arcane spirals about the curves of spooky, mysterious, slightly-difficult-to-understand-in-some-slightly-awkward-sort-of-way Orb, as if oozing of their own accord... The children's faces are alive and talking! They need stuff like food and shoes! They have ordinary, prosaic needs like other living organisms all over the planet! WHO KNEW?!??!? The Mage's eyes gleam with glittery political magic knowledge that is beyond our ken.

But now, SEE, little muggles, as he takes the Orb, polished form the touch of many wise hands, OFF the sacred altar...

GASP! The aura of being-something-we're-talking-about-right-now... has GONE. VANISHED, as if it never was. The Orb has no more meaning than a piece of glass, humble and without consequence of any kind. The children's faces are sort of fake-looking, like cheap holograms. Guess we won't be talking about that then. Marvellous! We can admire the sexy aura of OTHER stuff.

I SO WANT a table like that. Or at least a Table of Familial Responsibility that I can put my Crazy Fundy Aunt Jill's Christmas Visits on or off. It would make everything so convenient.