Police Shut Down Street in Hunt for Man's Missing Penis

[zappaman]

After a 40-year-old man was found by the side of the road with his penis severed and nowhere to be found, police shut down 4 lanes of traffic to search for the missing member.

The man was discovered early Thursday morning off the A66 highway in Middlesbrough, U.K., with "wounds to his groin area." He was taken to the hospital, where he remains in an induced coma.

Police still aren't sure how the man's penis came to be severed. A 22-year-old was arrested on suspicion of assault, but later released on bail.

The status of the penis is also unclear. The highway was reopened later on Thursday, but authorities haven't announced whether their search was successful.

http://gawker.com/police-shut-down-street-in-hunt-for-mans-missing-penis-1543309596?utm_campaign=socialflow_gawker_facebook&utm_source=gawker_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

[TeeYiYi]

1. I'll watch for an Amber alert. ..nt

TYY

[Warren DeMontague]

2. This wont end well.

The last time some dick shut down four lanes of traffic, it pretty much killed his chances at the GOP nomination.

[TeeYiYi]

5. Haha...

...FIRST!

TYY

[Warren DeMontague]

15. The early bird gets the worm!

Or, um....

[malaise]

10. Thread win

[Cali_Democrat]

20. awesomeness

[Sissyk]

22. Well done!!

[flamin lib]

3. The only thing better than the subject line is

The status of the penis is also unclear.

Lounge? GD? Who the hell cares!!!!!!

[cali]

4. that's horrible. It's a tragic story and I will never ever understand

the mentality of making it into a joke.

[Feral Child]

8. Think about it:

When was the last time you heard a joke that didn't involve unpleasantness to the "butt"?

Thing is, laughter is our response to witnessing a painful situation; it's cathartic.

[TeeYiYi]

9. GD is a mid-level humor-threat forum...

Perhaps LBN would have been a better fit for a 'missing penis' story.

TYY

[Warren DeMontague]

16. I'm not joking about the guy. I hope he recovers.

But come on. The Chris Christie stuff practically writes itself.

[Cali_Democrat]

21. I'm sure you're a blast at parties. nt

[NV Whino]

6. Does anyone know the whereabouts of Lorena Bobbit?

[SummerSnow]

18. He's been Bobbitized

[MiniMe]

7. Sounds like a Bobbit story

And hopefully you all remember Lorena Bobbit

[Warpy]

11. It also could be self inflicted

considering all the untreated crazy out there.

It's likely street pizza by now.

[zappaman]

13. "It's likely street pizza by now."

Congrats!
You actually made me say "ewwww".

[mysuzuki2]

12. I really feel for this guy.

Dog knows, I can never remember where I put mine!

[In_The_Wind]

26. ...

[pintobean]

14. Excuse me

ma'am, have you seen a penis?

[Fumesucker]

17. Police spokesman reports they are now hoping for a tip n/t

[SummerSnow]

19. The status of the penis unclear....lol

The penis is probably somewhere being a dick

[TeeYiYi]

27. !...

TYY

[Sissyk]

23. Poor guy!

I hope they catch the abuser.

[Vashta Nerada]

24. Maybe a bird thought it was a worm.

[lindysalsagal]

25. My first thought was

If it had been a woman's finger, would the police have done anything at all??

But a penis is a four lane event…