How long should I make phony "windows support" wait?

[Hassin Bin Sober]

I've strung him along for about ten minutes. My computer is "rebooting" now.

Typing this on an iPad

[BuelahWitch]

1. I always act like a deaf old lady

and ask if he's coming to clean my windows on my apartment. I tell him he'll need a very tall ladder as I'm on the third floor. Then I ask him if he knows his mother sucks donkey dicks. They usually hang up after that.

[Squinch]

27. LOL!!!!! I'm stealing that!!!!

[mercuryblues]

2. they are

stupid and they think you are too. They call me like crazy. When I tell them I don't have a computer, it becomes my phone is acting up and sending out error messages.

They hung up on me when I told them that my pc was in for repairs and this is windows fault, how do I make a claim for reimbursement.

[rhett o rick]

3. I think they get some kind of credit for keep a person on for a long time.

I kept one guy on a long time and it seemed to me like he was saying things just to keep me on the line.

They claim they can see my computer and that it needs fixing, but they cant tell me what my IP address is.

[chrisa]

4. I started laughing and failed last time.

My record is 5 minutes.

[Jgarrick]

5. You have more patience than I do.

I just laugh , say "Give me a break" and hang up.

[Jackpine Radical]

6. Jeez--I haven't gotten that scam yet. Mostly I only hear from

some credit card scam outfit saying something about "My secon and final notice…." Sometimes I've pressed 1 like they tell me to speak to a live person, & when I finally connect, I demand to be taken off their list, demand to speak to a supervisor, or otherwise fuck with them & they abruptly hang up. But they keep calling.

[blue neen]

9. This particular scam shows up on Caller ID

as a really strange phone number, like 2-345-6789 or 2-312-345-6789. How this happens is beyond me, but you'll know know this scam when you see these weird numbers.

[Jackpine Radical]

17. We don't have Caller ID on our landline.

Interesting--I wonder how they've survived, with all the complaints they must have generated.

[ecstatic]

10. Every week I get a call about adding an extended warranty on the car

I traded in last year. Not only do I no longer have it, but it was leased--no extended warranty necessary. I used to politely explain and ask them to remove my number, but now I just hang up and block.

[blue neen]

14. We're still getting calls 3 1/2 years after we traded one in!

This is disgusting!

[Ino]

13. Credit Card Services called me 3 times yesterday!

It seems if you hang up on them TOO quickly or let the answering machine get it, they'll just call back a few hours later. As opposed to a few days later like they normally do. They are the worst.

[Heywood J]

29. "Strategic Air Command, Col. Boner speaking - what are your orders, Mr. President?"

"Drone command room" also usually works.

[Ino]

30. LOL!

I'm going to write that down to use next time

[Catherina]

7. Tell him breathlessly that you'll be right back and go wash your hair. n/t

[arikara]

8. I had 4 of them in a week

I started having lots of fun with them. I had one hang up on me, he accused me of trying to con him. Another one I kept on the line for 20 minutes rebooting while I peeled my potatoes and made dinner, then told him I needed to use the phone and hung up on him.

[blue neen]

11. Go for a walk! Wash the car! Keep 'em hanging!

These are the most annoying phone calls! Think of what we could accomplish as humankind if all the brain power that went into devising scams was used in a productive way!

[Ino]

12. I started playing with one guy...

after acting horrified at the news that my computer was slow, panicking over what I should do, I started making random, clipped word-like noises. He kept saying my phone was cutting out, something was wrong with my phone, he couldn't understand me! He hung up and called back several times. Then I got bored and told him to stop calling me.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

15. That is basically what I did.

I kept telling him the computer was frozen and that I had to reboot it and walk across the room and set the phone down. So I left it for the cat purr In to.

I thought he gave up on me because he told me he had to call me back. Then I got a call on the other line. I was talking to my friend who owns this house the phone rang like 8 times on call waiting. I finally picked up.

then he tried to get me to start it in safe mode by tapping the f8 button as it rebooted. So I told him to hold on and then told him I was pressing f 3 button and it didn't work.

I told him I was just going to throw the computer and the garbage and he said it was my internet connection that was infected so whatever to computer I brought in would be infected.

I grew tired of the shenanigans and told him my wife just texted me and told me this was a scam and not the call again.I'm at a friends house and it's their phone so I figured I'd better cut my ties.

[REP]

16. My mom finally told him she was running Windows FuckOff

She has fun with them.

[nilram]

18. I just started telling the guy he was lying and he should

call his mother and tell her she raised a liar. He insisted he wasn't lying and I was just telling him he was. This went on until I was tired of it and I hung up. It was very satisfying.

[Ino]

20. Oh, he was polite!

I told one guy he was lying, and he finally yelled at me, "You're lying, you (string of very bad words)." Someone cursing at you with a foreign accent sounds very funny, and he hung up when I started laughing.

[nilram]

21. That's really funny!

I had actually answered the phone at my partner's place -- I have caller ID and never answer it at my place unless I know who it is. If I could get these guys to curse at me, well, I'm tempted to start answering my phone...

[wryter2000]

19. DUZY for this whole thread

Is there someone I can report this to for a DUzy award?

[laundry_queen]

22. Anyone have a link...

...to that story of the guy who totally punked the telemarketer by saying he was a cop and they were investigating a murder and that the telemarketer had to stay on the line to answer a few questions about the murder? Man, I laughed at that one. yes, it was cruel, but I have little patience for scammers.

[Ino]

24. Here you go!

A classic. I wish I had the presence and quick mind to carry this off

[laundry_queen]

25. Ha! perfect!! Thanks so much! nt

[Warren DeMontague]

23. As long as you can.

Fuck those people.

[arcane1]

26. What is the scam? I haven't heard of it before.

And I never answer my phone

[Hassin Bin Sober]

28. "Microsoft" calls to tell you they have been receiving reports of malicious code...

... coming from your computer.

Not sure what the next step is because I just jerked him around for about 20 minutes while I did my work. He was trying to get me to get the "run" screen but I told him the computer was frozen and, of course, I blamed him.

I'm not sure if the goal is to get a credit card number out of you for the "repair" or to take over your computer or both.

It sure sounded like a busy boiler room because I could here the same spiel going on in the background loud chatter. Very strong Indian accents.

At one point, he told me he had to call me back so I figured he was on to me. But he did call back.

I finally told him my wife texted me to tell me this was a scam and to never call here again.