Wonkette: Hobby Lobby Sincerely Believes Slut Pills Are THE WORST Except When Hobby Lobby Profits
So here is a funny thing. And not an April Fools haha-just-kidding-PSYCH!-YA BURNT! unfunny funny thing, but an actual hilarious-on-any-day-of-the-year funny thing.
You know that arts and crafts store, Hobby Lobby, created in God’s image to provide bored housewives with all their scrapbooking and needlepointing needs at made-in-China bargain basement prices? Of course you do, because Hobby Lobby is suing for its right to tell its lady employees they cannot use contraceptives (scratch that, SOME contraceptives that the Bible says are actually abortion even though they are not abortion and the Bible doesn’t say that).
You may remember way back to last week when Hobby Lobby’s attorney, Paul Clement, argued to the Supreme Court that requiring the company’s insurance provider to comply with federal slut-pills regulations would be a “burden” and also super unfair and would make Jesus cry, and the Greens, who founded the store, would be forced to violate their Sincerely Held Religious BeliefsTM, which they discovered — coincidentally, wink wink — in 2012, when Hobby Lobby suddenly decided to stop covering those very same medications it now says have been banned by God since the beginning of the world, 6000ish years ago. Justice Sotomayor asked Clement if granting a Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs exemption to companies could lead to refusing coverage for other such medical treatments as blood transfusions and vaccines. Clement said (basically), “Hahah, no, silly lady, don’t be ridiculous, we’re not trying to restrict real health care, just lady health care” because (actual quote) “it’s so religiously sensitive, so fraught with religious controversy.” Justice Sotomayor was said to then bang her head on her desk repeatedly and end her day drinking all the bleach. Or so we’ve speculated.
So you can see that Hobby Lobby sincerely believes slut pills and abortion are THE WORST and should therefore be allowed to deny its employees access to such. If the government crams this mandate down Hobby Lobby’s throat, it will be the end of religious freedom and the First Amendment and probably the apocalypse will be nigh because that is how much Hobby Lobby is opposed to being involved in any way at all whatsoever, even through a third party, with SOME birth control. In all circumstances, no exceptions, no asterisks.
Oh, what’t this we have here? Why it is an asterisk, courtesy of Mother Jones:
Read more at http://wonkette.com/545429/hobby-lobby-sincerely-believes-slut-pills-are-the-worst-except-when-hobby-lobby-profits#xXCGdo9v5zd9hU0j.99
Hypocrisy, thy name is Hobby Lobby.
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