‘Forbes’ Releases 2014 List Of Most Punchable CEOs
Based on criteria such as their scope of influence, public image, annual income, and general physical appearance, the 2014 list provides readers with a numbered ranking of top corporate executives from around the world rated by how gratifying it would be to nail them with a solid kidney shot or a stiff jab to the mouth.
“The Forbes editorial board considered hundreds of candidates, and it was frankly very difficult to narrow down the list to just 100 names,” Lane continued. “But we’re confident that as readers page through the bios and look at the shit-eating grins on these fuckers, they’ll want to knee every goddamn one of them right in the gut.”
Oracle CEO Larry Ellison topped the Forbes Most Punchable list for the second year running, followed closely by BP’s Bob Dudley, Amazon’s Jeff Bezos, General Electric’s Jeff Immelt, AOL’s Tim Armstrong, and Rupert Murdoch of News Corp. Lane told reporters the overall list includes executives from finance, technology, energy, media, and pharmaceuticals, stressing that the selected CEOs all have extensive influence in the worlds of business and politics and are each in dire need of a firm smack to the back of the head just as they’re about to sip from a mug of hot coffee.
Forbes also highlighted Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein with a special three-page spread, arguing that the 59-year-old capitalist is practically begging to be held down on the ground and have his face rubbed in a pile of dog shit while he frantically flails his arms and screams.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/forbes-releases-2014-list-of-most-punchable-ceos,35694/
= new reply since forum marked as read
(which got Bashir canned) is more appropriate for most of those CEOs. 
