Haha: New-Age Bullshit Generator

[redgreenandblue]

Generate your very own New-Age bullshit

http://sebpearce.com/bullshit/

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. Brilliant!

A great source for developing ads for whatever woo remedy or spiritual experience you want to sell.

[MADem]

2. I swear, some of this crap sounds like Ross Perot's running mate's debate conversations...

We are at a crossroads of understanding and stagnation. Who are we? Where on the great vision quest will we be guided? Humankind has nothing to lose.

[maddezmom]

5. LOL!

That was worth watching again.

[MADem]

12. Hee hee...I gotta say, though, some days, I look around here and see some of the

crazy pit bull at the Olive Garden fights, and I can relate to that guy!

Who AM I?

Why am I here?

[maddezmom]

14. I know

I just to stay out of them but got caught up in one myself. Going to disengage from it and try to enjoy the rest of DU.

[rrneck]

3. Thanks, I needed that. nt

[Xyzse]

4. That writing reminds me almost of the badly written

James Redfield books like the Celestine Prophecy and stuff.

I mean, I enjoyed it, since it was fun distraction for a little while.

As well as the fact that it is great for conversation during college at the time.

[arcane1]

6. Well, there goes what's left of my productivity for today

"Reionize electrons" indeed!

[Nuclear Unicorn]

7. I look at a lot of New Age stuff with head banging incredulity but --

(you knew there was a "but" didn't you?) I am uncomfortable with mocking people's deeply held beliefs.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

8. Except - what, exactly, are are these deeply-held beliefs?

There's so much mushy bullshit that you can't even tell. How can you hold a belief, deeply or otherwise, in blather like: "Soon there will be a refining of love the likes of which the dreamscape has never seen. We are being called to explore the quantum cycle itself as an interface between chi and energy. This vision quest never ends"?

[Nuclear Unicorn]

15. Be that as it may mocking them has no positive value.

Presumably, the most loving thing that could be done would be to lift someone out of error. To that end we would recommend instruction. But mocking is not instruction, it is pleasure at another's expense (read: cruel).

If the choice is between being in error or being cruel the better person will choose error.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

17. I agree in principle.

And if someone came to me and, say, offered to align my chakras, I wouldn't make fun of them; I'd just politely decline and say my chakras are fine. In fact, I had an experience like that - a nice woman who worked part time at a local coffee shop was trying to start up a massage business, so she was offering free massages to coffee shop customers. I took her up on the offer a few days later, went to her studio, and got a "massage," which consisted of her moving her hands over me without actually touching me, I guess to do something with energy fields or chi or something. Of course it was pure woo and had no effect at all. But I just thanked her and went on my way. I didn't accuse her of quackery or anything else because she clearly believed in what she was doing.

However, I reserve the right to make fun of woo, quackery and all manner of other silliness on an Internet message board.

[mindwalker_i]

13. I understand the sentiment and, to some extent, agree

But sometimes bullshit needs to be mocked. Recently there have been some billboards showing up saying, "Not religious? Neither are we." These are for csv3 (or something) and when I went to their web page, it said something about "we're not religious, just want to have a relationship with our lord and savior jesus christ." When you're talking about having a "relationship" with some dude who's been dead for 2000 years, it's a fucking religion.

[lumberjack_jeff]

20. What's the point of mocking beliefs that no one holds?

Sacred cows are there to have sacrilege performed on them.

... and I woke in the middle of last night to check my bank balances. Nope, I didn't get paid to sleep last night either.

[Warren DeMontague]

25. That's a totally fucking AWESOME Zen Koan, right there.

We are the self-actualization of the quantum frequency mocking itself, for its own non-existence.

[lumberjack_jeff]

26. Heh. +1 n/t

[Jim Lane]

21. This mixes mocking with education.

It's at least possible that at least a few New Age types, after reionizing the electrons a few times, would see that the books they're paying money for and the speeches they're raptly following have little or no real content. I wouldn't look for any of them to become hard-core materialists, but they might at least start asking themselves "Is there any difference between this sentence I'm trying to understand, from the book I bought, and this bunch of similar sentences generated at random?"

Now, I'll admit that it's not going to reach a large number of such folks. The principal reason for that failure is that most of them won't use that generator at all -- which means they'll never see their deeply held beliefs being mocked, so no harm done.

[n2doc]

9. Shouldn't that be "middle age"

Since people have been making fun of it for 30 or so years, at least?

[n2doc]

10. There is also the eerily similar Corporate Bullshit Generator

http://cbsg.sourceforge.net/cgi-bin/live

[Initech]

19. Corporate Bullshit: Where the shit stinks no matter which end it's coming out of.

[mindwalker_i]

11. "The crux of the biscuit is the apostrophy"

That was in the comments section.

[elias7]

24. Zappa

[phantom power]

16. Have you found your myth?

I have now.

[phantom power]

18. btw, the Deepak Chopra tweet generator he links to is also epic:

http://www.wisdomofchopra.com/

[NuclearDem]

22. A healthy body is part of the beginning.

[hatrack]

23. Wow!

That's some world-class bullshit generation!

[HuckleB]

27. "The goal of meridians is to plant the seeds of non-locality rather than illusion."