Stand up or die trying - By Mark Morford
You know what’s funny? Back spasms.
Not twitches. Not tremors. I’m talking ferocious muscle contractions so sudden and violent they hurl you out of your fancystupid office chair and onto the hardwood floor in a fit of OMG WTF, as the world crashes in all around, kicking you like a stupefied dog.
How cute you are! Lying there in the fetal position, writhing and moaning like you’re giving birth to the devil for what seems like 40 days and 40 nights but is really only about 15 minutes, as wave after wave of piriformis-clamping agony slam into your spine like a herd of hammerhead sharks. Look! The entire universe is mocking your futile attempts to right yourself or even roll sideways, much less reach the phone to text Jesus that you’re almost certainly dying, so please ready a room. Fun!
Pure comedy, really. The first time this happened to me – about four years ago – I actually did laugh, in between screams. After all, as a yoga teacher of plus-minus 15 years, I’m very much attuned to body alignment and function. I teach all sorts of techniques and meditations for back-strengthening, body suppleness, deep calm. I’m aware and, uh, impervious.
http://blog.sfgate.com/morford/2014/04/22/stand-up-or-die-trying/