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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsHow to Rebrand the KKK
(Reposted from http://lesterandcharlie.com/2014/04/24/how-to-rebrand-the-kkk/ with permission)
Racists in America never seem to tire of trying to outdo one another. The ink was barely dry on the story of the white supremacist whose alleged shooting rampage at two Jewish institutions in Kansas was followed by a cry of Heil Hitler! when we were treated to the psycho rants of everyones new favorite deadbeat, Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy, who declared that black Americans (Negroes to him) have problems today because they never learned to pick cotton and they were perhaps better off as slaves.
That sent Bundys opportunistic supporters like Nevada Senator Dean Heller and prez hopeful Rand Paul, both Republicans into a frenzied panic. Appalling! Offensive! Racist! they shouted, trying desperately to create some distance between them and the guy who just moments before was a blue-blooded hero for attempting an armed insurrection against the federal government.
It seems that racists just arent getting all the love like they used to. Could it be that theyre misunderstood?
Enter the Ku Klux Klan, whose Imperial Wizard, Frank Ancona, declared this week that hes got BIG IDEAS for a new KKK a KKK for today, one thats about educating people and looking out for members who might be discriminated against.
Unbelievably, this is real. In response to a rash of crimes, the KKK has now started a neighborhood watch in Fairview Township, PA, one that includes a 24-hour Klanline and flyers that cry, You can sleep tonight knowing the Klan is awake!
Were not so sure if everybody is going to sleep better. This is in spite of Anconas repeated assurances that this will be just like any neighborhood watch program, and that they wouldnt even think of targeting minorities. We dont hate people, he said. We are an organization who looks out for our race.
Are you feeling safer yet? Sure, Ancona admits the KKK still believes in racial separation, but theyre normal people, he insists, just like everybody else: professional people, business people, working types.
Members could be the guy who is delivering your pizza, he said. It could be law enforcement from the local sheriffs office. It could be the nurse taking care of you in the emergency room.
Now how safe do you feel?
Marketing experts expressed extreme skepticism that the KKK could ever successfully re-brand itself as anything other than a hate group. Violence and racial intimidation were the KKKs raison detre, said Jelani Cobb, director of the Africana Studies Institute at UConn. Theyre not simply a controversial civic organization.
But we gotta give em credit for trying, we suppose. And Ancona insists that his Klanline is already popular with some residents. Surely, if true, that will only encourage their rebranding efforts. So were wondering: What will the KKK do next in their effort to prove theyre not a hate group?
- Enlist Skittles as a corporate sponsor?
- Release a cover of "Born This Way" on their new KKK-Tel Records label?
What do YOU think?
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How to Rebrand the KKK (Original Post)
bondwooley
Apr 2014
OP
A name change: FRA. Fucking Racist Assholes. They could merge with the NRA.
Warren Stupidity
Apr 2014
#1
Warren Stupidity
(48,181 posts)1. A name change: FRA. Fucking Racist Assholes. They could merge with the NRA.
National Racist Alliance of Fucking Racist Assholes.
bondwooley
(1,198 posts)2. Not a bad idea.
At least it would be honest.
Hekate
(90,189 posts)3. I suggest they use a glowing hot iron on each other. That ought to do it.
greyl
(22,990 posts)4. (I thought that was a Pope hat at first...) nt
TeeYiYi
(8,028 posts)5. Seriously,...is that Colonel Sanders? ..nt
TYY
IDemo
(16,926 posts)6. I'll go with Sheet Heads™
SwankyXomb
(2,030 posts)7. "White Man's Priviledge"
"It's Klantastic!"