Anyone else feel lonesome today?

[Lifelong Protester]

I DO wish all Moms a Happy Mothers Day, however I feel lonesome today. My mom has been gone a long while, and I am not a mom. This seems like the most continuously advertised holiday on American airwaves.

I don't want to "rain" on anyone's "parade", but I was wondering if there is anyone else out there like me? Nobody else I can talk to today-they are all celebrating with family.

[GreenPartyVoter]

1. My mom and grandmothers are gone. I have kids, but they are teenage boys, so not

much happening here.

[Bobbie Jo]

2. Miss my mom terribly

This is my second Mother's Day without her.

Of course all holidays have been difficult, but this one just drives it home for me.

((hugs)) for you....you're not alone.

[LiberalLoner]

62. Me too. 11th without her. Never stop missing her.

[Lifelong Protester]

74. Thanks for the hugs!

Felt like I needed those today.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

3. Me, too.

Mom's gone, no kids. It's a tough holiday to object to, seeing as how it's all about mothers, and who dares go negative about mothers? Not that I am, or would be - but if you aren't one and don't have one, it's a bit of a drag. But I'll wander off to the coffee shop with my Sunday paper and have a nice cup of coffee and a chocolate croissant. The moms and kids will be at the Mother's Day buffets so maybe it will be a little quieter.

[Lifelong Protester]

75. Thanks for the wave and kind words.

Day's nearly over.

[PasadenaTrudy]

4. My mom is gone too

and I'm not a mom. I just treat today like any other Sunday, and I don't buy into the hype. Try to keep occupied and do something that makes you feel good. This too shall pass

[Tikki]

5. I miss my mom today, also.

Nice thing about our lives…they count for so much just as we are.

Today I will do something Deeme and I did together, in her memory.


Tikki

[roguevalley]

6. I'm with you, Lifelong. My mother and I were like siamese twins

I don't get and never have the 'I hate my mom' thing. Never had it happen to me. We would travel England and Ireland, Wales and Scotland. I took her to all her dream places including Lake Tahoe and Hawaii. She was and always will be my right brain, my true love and my hero. She died ten months after my dad. They were that much in love.

She accepted me in my entirety. I never heard a criticism from her about me. No matter what I, no matter how half assed it was, she was there cheering. I am writing because she encouraged me. I love her forever. I hug you and everyone on the list. This two shall pass.

In about 16 hours for me as of this point. Hang in there. It will be Monday soon.

Tell me about your mama.

[Lifelong Protester]

76. My mom was a good person

who had a rough childhood-I always said she did the best she could with what she had. It wasn't always easy, but I am amazed I did as well as I did-and she did encourage me.

As someone else said here, we were just getting to a point in our lives where we could be friends-and boom, she was gone. (I think I talked about how she died in a car accident several posts down, and sorry, I don't want to type it again-it is too hard.) Thank you for asking about her.

[randys1]

7. My mom has been gone 10 yrs, she was a Jungian enthusiast and

argumentative, intelligent and very liberal woman...

The family I have left, for the most part, are rightwingers and not good people, one in particular, so today is a very sad day for me too.

[Blue_Tires]

8. I feel lonely *every* day...

[Mnemosyne]

15. ...

Me too.

[roguevalley]

93. I hug you, Blue_Tires

[nashville_brook]

9. same here… so, yesterday i did something that me and mother used to do...

i was with the SO, driving out to run some errands. i decided to take a detour and look at houses. mother used to do this all the time. she'd stick me in the car and off we'd go to look at a piece of property, or familiarize ourselves with a neighborhood. she invested in real estate -- very small time -- but to her it was a whole way of life.

so yesterday we drove and i told the SO (probably for the fourth or fifth time) stories about mine and mother's real estate excursions.

it felt so good to share that with somebody, and the act of touring neighborhood with no agenda really felt wonderful.

i miss her -- every year i get this same feeling. loss.

[LiberalElite]

10. I'm w/you too -

no kids, just a few cats. My mother died many years ago, father long before that. I stay in today rather than have everyone (total strangers) wish me a Happy Mother's Day. They mean well and I thank them but I feel awkward.

(A guy in the deli got a head start and said it on Friday!)

[Lifelong Protester]

77. Happens to me too, and by folks who know me

well enough to know that I am not a mom, and have no longer a mom here.

[LiberalElite]

97. Good grief -

at least I don't have to put up with that.

[Lex]

12. Happy for everyone being happy.

I don't have kids of my own. I'm almost 50 but it cheers me to see everyone having fun--and I'm spending the day doing things I love, working in my flowers, reading, watching my favorite PBS shows, and maybe going out with friends for dinner.

It's a beautiful day.

[Myrina]

13. My mom is gone 25 years &

My college-age daughter prefers her step-mother, so all things parent-related suck to me. I treat it like any other weekend day ... same with the holidays. After so many years of no gatherings, no cards, no gifts ... one stops acknowledging them & they lose their power.

[StevieM]

47. Sending you my love today. Hopefully your daughter will eventually wake up

and realize what she is missing.

[Spirochete]

14. My parents are long gone too

Today would also be my mother's birthday. At the time, it seemed like that happened every other year, though I know it couldn't have been more often than every 4 or 5 years. It was always so close together though, that I just brought her two cards and presents on the same day, regardless. I still miss that.

[JJChambers]

16. Is today a holiday?

[Brainstormy]

17. Most every woman has "mothered" someone

nieces, nephews, other children, friends in need, neighbors, spouses, gardens, animals. In that spirit I'm sure you're entitled to Mother's Day wishes.

[LiberalElite]

63. Thank you! -

Welcome to DU

[Lifelong Protester]

79. Thanks! Even better, I'm a teacher.

So I have looked after more than a few.

[nolabear]

18. Mine died when I was 13. This has always made me feel understood.

To tell you the truth I usually don't know what to feel about my mother. It was long ago, it was long and horrible, and I was in a state of trauma and shock for most of it. But I know that this has always reached into me and touched something that feels more like me than anything else, and it comforts. And this particular performance, at the end of Odetta's own life, though short, is the most amazing I've ever heard.

[rurallib]

30. I was a little over 20 when my mother died

I was just getting to know her.
Something that made it sadder still was that it didn't have to happen. Lifetime cigarette and alcohol habits did her in a little past 50.

And yeah that song reaches me when I hear it.
20 is too young to lose your mother let alone 13.

[BeatleBoot]

19. My Mom died when I just started Kindergarten back in 1969.

I've always felt like I couldn't talk about it, like I was raining on someone's parade, too.

There will always be that hole in my heart, as I know that you know.

I tell people that it DOES take a village to raise someone. I lived it.

Now, to honor her, I'm trying to pass it on to others.

Hang tough Lifelong Protester!

[Lifelong Protester]

81. I have! (Hung or hanged tough!)

I figure this is my 'village' and if I need to talk, I will. So should you.

[Stellar]

20. my mother passed two years ago...

and I just felt that my mom should live forever....

My dad passed Christmas morning 2013. I'm feeling a little lonesome for my family that raised me.

[Lifelong Protester]

80. I am sorry to hear that. Hugs to you.

[Big Blue Marble]

21. My Mom's been gone a very long time.

Today is the day to connect with her and to remember all that she was and all that she did.

And remember we are all connected to our mother, our planet who sustains us everyday!

[Scruffy Rumbler]

22. Mom has Alzheimer's...

Every month a little more of her disappears...She doesn't recognize anyone anymore... been about two years now with that.

5th year without my partner's mom....cancer.

Thanks for the thread....

[Lifelong Protester]

23. Thanks for all the nice posts

and words. I will be going outside to do some work in the yard (as soon as the guy down the street stops "harshing my mellow" with that lawnmower or leaf blower, or whatever it is).

I lost my mom in 1990-to a car accident. I went to work at my night job, and when I got home, I had a phone call from the local sheriff-to call the hospital. I did, and some poor nurse, for whom I feel sadness and compassion towards to this day, had to give me the news. The car my mom was in was hit by a drunk driver. And that person was killed, too. And sad part, she (the drunk driver) had 3 kids and was divorced.

There was some confusion in finding me, as I have a different last name than my spouse, and my mom's SO, who was also in the accident, kept trying to give them a name for me that did not help, unfortunately.

I still don't feel 'over it' and on Mothers Day it all comes flooding back. I have never really shared the story outside of the family that already knows it.

I am just happy to have this hummingbird feeder outside my window with birds, and the kind words from others who understand.

Thank you.

[roguevalley]

95. you don't have to feel 'over it', my friend. its been years and I feel the same

today as then. I talk to them all the time and feel better but I know I will never be over losing them. By the way, hummingbirds were my dad's favorite. The day he passed, my mom and I came home numb and astonished. He was there two hours earlier and now he was gone forever. I was shocked so I grabbed the mail and began to gab as my mom sat shocked and wan. I opened the first letter and images of hummingbirds fell out, pictures and name tags for some charity. The first thing we saw after he left was hummingbirds. It still astonishes me. I know it wasn't a coincidence. I NEVER open junk mail. Ever.

[potone]

24. Yes, I do too.

My mother died 8 years ago and I have no children. For some reason, this holiday this year is harder than usual, probably because a lot of other things in my life have not been going well--health, work. Still, I wish all the mothers on DU a happy mother's day.

[Lifelong Protester]

84. I do too.

(Wish the moms a Happy Mothers Day). But for some reason, this year it seemed harder for me, too.

Be Well!

[zeemike]

25. My mom died in 1956

And I was 12..so I have had a lifetime of sadness on Mothers day.
But I am happy for those with mothers to show love and appreciation to.

[easttexaslefty]

26. Yes.

One of my children died in 2007 at age 33. I have one surviving child who I love very dearly but this is the most painful holiday of the year for me. ((((((( hugs ))))))

[RoccoR5955]

33. only if you believe in heaven. n/t

[roody]

56. Can she see me when I have sex?

[greatauntoftriplets]

28. I find the lead-up to be the most difficult.

It's the constant bombardment for "Buy X for Mom!!!" and the emails telling me that time is running out to buy flowers, candy, cashmere throws, kitchen stuff, etc.

My mother died eight years ago, three days after Christmas 2005.

[Mira]

29. I feel with you,

though I do not personally feel lonely.
Is there anyone around you who may be in a similar situation today whose day you could brighten?
It's the best remedy to reach out to others when we are pre-occupied with self.

My Mom is almost 90. Feisty and sharp as a tack in the head, but her body is so frail she keeps falling and she is horribly banged up right now and has to give in to using a walker for every step and have others dress her and wash her.
I have talked to her twice already today, and that is across the ocean to Europe.
I am very anxious - not knowing what's next and how long I will still have her.
When she told me she could not hold the book in her lap because it was too heavy and her hurt arms don't support it, that's when it really hit me hard how sad I am, how steadfast she is, and how much old age is not for sissies.

And no - I am only allowed to come when she decides I need to.
So I call every day, and am grateful for what is.

[Lifelong Protester]

82. Thank you, and your Mom is lucky to have you.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

31. hi LP, I'm one too.

I don't have anyone to be with either. At least I don't miss my mother....she was too disturbed to have a relationship. My Dad's been gone many years now too--he checked out with alcohol.

I've just been sleeping all weekend. Shrimpy is very bored with me. Sleep, my drug of choice.

I don't watch teevee...glad not to look at all the sappy crap they cart out in an endless caravan of dump-trucks.

So we all have each other. That's good.

[Lifelong Protester]

86. Yes, we have each other, and I say THANKS

for the hugs, and the wave, and the understanding.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

92. you're welcome!

I do have a great therapist, and part of the work is on building more connections. Isolating isn't an easy habit to break but, to quote Mark Twain,

"Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time."

[RoccoR5955]

32. I feel that way all the time

Very few friends, no family. Neighbors are too concerned with their own doings, and/or are idiots..
I know exactly how you feel.
I usually just listen to the radio.
Some weekends I don't say a word. Just the way things are.
I deal with it.
No regrets.

Personally, I can't stand these Hallmark Holidays. They alienate too many people.

[ChisolmTrailDem]

34. My mom passed in October. This is my first Mother's Day without her. It hurts. nt

[Lifelong Protester]

89. I am sorry to hear that.

[Seniorcousin]

35. Mother's are special, life isn't the same without them.

This is my 3rd Mother's day without her. I'm like her so many ways that it often feels like some part of her is with me.

[LittleBlue]

36. My mom died when I was a teen

It was hard at first to ignore the Mothers Day stuff.

I began to think of it as a celebration of all mothers, without them we wouldn't exist. Mothers Day bothered me less over the years. Helps that I don't watch much TV.

Hope you have a good day.

[mnhtnbb]

37. Mother's Day is a tough day.

So many emotions. Personally, I had a mom that was not supportive and
bordered on abusive. She's been gone since 2000 and it's a relief not to have to pretend
to have a relationship with her. Yet, I still mourn what might have been.

I am a mother to two boys--both in Europe at the moment--one has checked in via e-mail
to wish me a happy mother's day and the other is silent. I also had a stillborn daughter
and every mother's day I wonder what difference it would have made in my life had she lived...because
I doubt we would have had our youngest son.

It also happens to be my 29th anniversary today. My husband gave me a mother's day card...but
nothing for our anniversary.

We are leaving tomorrow for a 3 week trip to Europe and will see both our sons.

[elleng]

42. OH the TRIP!

I was so excited whenever those approached! Will be thinking of you and yours! (And looking forward to seeing pictures.)

Have a WONDERFUL time traveling, and visiting with the 'boys!'

[JDPriestly]

38. Wishing you well.

[Skidmore]

39. Miss my mother terribly and my kids are

far enough away that they can't visit today. To make up for it, I got to do my annual Mother's Day lawn mowing. I don't know why it works out that way but I always end up mowing the lawn with my husband on MD.

[Fla Dem]

40. My Mom has been gone almost 40 years. She would have been 100 this year. But I still think

about her and talk to her all the time. She was a big part of my life. I sometimes find it incredulous to think I have lived longer than she did.

[roguevalley]

94. I hug you, Fla Dem

[elleng]

41. My birth mother and adopted mother passed,

one daughter is distant (geographically and emotionally,) and one daughter did send me a loving message at 1:00 a.m., but she's pregnant so either resting, or hanging with her mother in law. I can't complain about their very good relationship, but do wish she'd be able to spend some time with me today.

So yes, I too feel lonesome, Protester.

[mrmpa]

43. I want an Aunts appreciation day & an Uncles day too...........

for those of us who do not have children, but who have nieces and nephews we love and adore.

And please no haters for not acknowledging those out there who neither have children or nieces & nephews.

[GreenPartyVoter]

52. I think that's a lovely idea.

[tularetom]

44. No, I'll have to wait for Fathers Day to feel lonesome

Today, we have an endless parade of children, grandchildren and great grandchildren either coming by or phoning grandma to wish her well on her special day. I'll probably wind up grilling something for at least some of them.

But on Fathers Day? Crickets. Nobody bothers to come by. And it's fine with me. I can sit around, take my shoes off, put my feet up, watch sports, and drink beer. Or not. Whatever. By myself. For a whole day. Best fathers day gift a guy could get.

[dawnie51]

45. No matter how old you are.....

you never get over losing your mom. I'm a grandmother now, and my mother has been gone since 1983. My family always does their thing, but truthfully, Mothers Day hasn't been the same for me since 1983. I never tell anyone about this, and no one would know. It's just the way of things for me.

[femmocrat]

46. Yeah, kind of.

My kids are grown up and do not live nearby. They called and sent cards, though.

When my mom was alive, we always gathered at her house. I miss her and my family today. The first Mother's Day after she passed away was really hard.

[rickyhall]

48. I'm in the club, too

But also lost my brother about 3 weeks ago. He was my longest best friend. Rest of the family wont talk to me, but got my dog, Chloe'. Still missin' Bart, too.

[lunatica]

49. Yes

My only son died in February. This whole week has been very difficult because of all the commercialism hype. There was no getting away from it, even at work. Decades ago I decided not to "do" Mothers Day and let us all off the hook so we never felt we needed to get guilt presents to prove we love each other, and I thought I could be able to shrug the day off this time too. But we all get bombarded with ads and commercials and the whole hype thing that corporations do which I call guilting people to give presents. It's been like being beaten up every day. Tomorrow can't come soon enough.

[StevieM]

51. All my love, lunatica (eom)

[lunatica]

53. Thank you StevieM

[3catwoman3]

72. How very sad, lunatica.

I hope you have supportive people in your life, who know to give you whatever time and space you need to find your way. I'm sure there have been many people who want to know what they can do to help you, and there's never really very much anyone can do. I will share a bit of wisdom from my mom - tell people not to be afraid to bring up your son's name or to share their own memories of him with you.

My only brother, Tom, died in 1978, when he was 23 and I was 26. No sisters. My mother understood that people were reluctant to talk about my brother because they were afraid they would make her sad, but she said she was sad anyway, and when people shared memories it meant that Tom was remembered and that was important to her.

I am visiting my 92 year old mom this week. She is still quite vigorous, but early May is difficult for her, and for me, because my brother's of my birthday - May 5th. My parents' anniversary is May 8th, but my dad died in 2011, so that is now a poignant day also. And then, Mother's Day is always shortly thereafter. A bit of a triple whammy.

I know we do not know each other, but I am sending you a cyberhug.

[lunatica]

96. That's wonderful advice from your mother

And that's what I have been doing. I'm not one to talk to just anybody about my son so it's usually people who knew him and that's usually very warm and supporting. One of us will remember something he said or used to do that funny or humane. He had a very witty sense of humor and made many people laugh out loud in a spontaneous way. The night before he died we had been laughing a lot.

Thank you for being so thoughtful and sharing your family with me.

[StevieM]

50. My mom died when I was 16. This has always been a tough day for me.

I try to focus it on my aunts and my grandmother, before she died a few years ago. Losing my mom's mom was a real blow, even though she was 98 when she passed. Having her around was a source of peace on Mother's Day. Today would have been her 102nd birthday.

So I'll call my mom's sisters today and I will think of my mother and grandmother. I wish I could do more with this holiday, but that just wasn't in the cards for me.

[evemac]

54. I actually thought about this today

About all those who don't have a mom around anymore or are not a mom. I do think it's become ridiculously overdone in our culture. I know that if I didn't have a husband to celebrate Father's Day with, I would hate Father's Day since mine has been gone for 17 years. So sorry!

[roody]

55. I feel glad that I do not "have to"

go somewhere or visit anyone I do not want to visit. My mom has been gone many years. If she were living, I would visit and call when I wished to, not on a proscribed day.

[xxqqqzme]

57. My mother passed away last Saturday.

I was hoping she would be here for one last Mother's Day. All the flower ads and other promotions have been constant reminders that I have no cards to buy or flowers to send.

This is the first Mother's Day for my daughter so she is surrounded by her little family. My son made certain his boys had a Mother's Day ready for his wife plus he has to work today.

I'm going to finish the float design for the 4th of July Parade; get the parade application ready and finish the fundraising letters. The 4th will be here before I know it!

[Lifelong Protester]

90. I am so sorry to hear about your mom's passing.

One has no idea of how often we hear all those ads, do they?

[xxqqqzme]

98. No, I have never paid much attention

to them. I usually sent my mom an Edible Arrangement (she loved those). There just seemed to be no end to them this year.

[blueamy66]

58. No Mom, no Grandmothers

No children.

Just another day for me. It only gets to me when I hear about others' plans and see pics and stuff on FB.

I am happy for my friends and family that are celebrating.

[StevieM]

60. Didn't you say that you have a niece who you are close to?

I don't have kids either. It makes my niece and nephews all the more important to me.

My mom and grandma have also both died. I guess we have some things in common after all.

[blueamy66]

61. Yes, I have 2 nieces who each have 3 kids. Love and miss them dearly.

I also have an awesome teen-aged nephew.

You're right....we do have some things in common.

[steve2470]

59. a little bit

Mom's been gone for 7 years now, but I hope everyone else enjoys the holiday, especially mothers.

[Takket]

64. Very

My step-daughter has been assimilated by religious zealotry. She shuns her mother on those grounds and has not spoken to her in 2 years. i have not spoken to her in over a year due to my disgust with how she treats her mother/my wife as a piece of human waste.

mothers day is brutally hard for my wife and me as well.

[seaglass]

65. I am a mom but I miss my mom. To me Mother's Day has always been about my mom not me.

This is my first Mother's Day without her.

I spent most of the day over her house with my daughter cleaning it out so we can get ready to sell it. I know this is tough for a lot of people but for me, going through my mom's things brings so many memories and so much more appreciation and today I got to share some of that with my daughter.

I found a bottle of her favorite perfume and brought it home with me. Funny - I hated the perfume when she wore it because it gave me tremendous headaches and she put so much on. But I haven't smelled it in almost a year, so just a little whiff was enough for me.

[McCamy Taylor]

66. I feel your lonesome.

Here's a hug.

[Jim Lane]

67. Yes, but I felt it even more on Friday.

My mother died on May 9, 2012. It was a few days before Mother's Day that year and so I was about to go visit her.

[Lifelong Protester]

87. I am so sorry to hear that.

One of my work colleagues lost her mother this last Tuesday, so I can only imagine the juxtaposition of this holiday and loss.

[calimary]

68. May I offer you a chance to share being a foster mother?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024938958

Enjoy!!!! You are a child of Mother Earth. And everybody YOU turn around and help or nurture - should honor you for your mothering skills! Today and EVERY day, for that matter!

[mucifer]

69. I am a lonely person. I never had the guts to fall in love and or have kids.

Now I'm 48 and alone without many great memories and it's all my doing.

I do have a job I enjoy and my mother is still around with fairly early alzheimers.

[Lifelong Protester]

73. If you do want to 'go down that path'

I'll tell you my favorite college Spanish professor did not marry until he was well into his 60s. Hope!

[Louisiana1976]

70. I lost my mom early in 1988 and I live alone but I don't feel lonesome today.

My cat keeps me company and I've been reading a good book. You're never lonesome when you have books.

[Hekate]

71. Here's a thread to visit that may cheer you up & has zero to do with holidays

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=4937055

My kids don't really call that much -- they're very busy with their own lives -- though my daughter did buy me a bouquet and card at Trader Joe's.

No guarantees in life, ever.

Just a note: Although Hallmark took the holiday and ran with it, Mother's Day was originally conceived as an anti-war statement. Look it up -- it's another perspective.

Take care, be well.

[Lifelong Protester]

78. Thank you for the kind words.

[eridani]

83. Yes. both my mother and MIL have been gone for 15 years

Brothers are on the east coast, and their wives aren't my mother.

This is not a good day for me--reminds me of my miscarriages and decision to give up on motherhoos.

[Lifelong Protester]

85. I am sorry to hear that.

I hope your day was OK. I'm not sure why this year it hit me worse, but it did.

[Skip Intro]

88. I am alone (by choice) and I do miss my mom.

I love the freedom of being a loner. I only answer to God and myself. It suits me so well.

But I lost my mom seven years ago, and while this day doesn't really bring me down, at least not on a conscious level, I do love and miss her, and I tend to avoid the "happy mother's day" gushings on facebook and elsewhere.

It is a hard thing, but I believe, I fully believe, that I will see her, and other relatives, again. That we will be together again. That is faith. And I do have reason for it.

[Lifelong Protester]

91. Thank you for the kind reply.

I hope I see my parents again.