You all owe me money for the sunshine.

[JackRiddler]

I hereby submit a bill to all of you for the sunshine, to be paid monthly and in perpetuity. You are all already months in arrears, there will be penalties and interest and downgrades of your Credit Slave Rating (FICO), so please register with my site immediately to get your account up to date.

I started selling sunshine last year, didn't you know this yet? You are ALL in violation of my patent. You may not use anything that my company is selling without paying for it. That is called stealing!!!

I have a large staff of lawyers, an equally large army of lobbyists in Washington and at the statehouses. My former executives are appointed to run the regulatory agencies such as the Sunshine and Drug Administration. My bundling efforts deliver millions in legal bribes to election campaigns. Thanks to PACs, I can also use millions to attack the campaigns of anyone stupid enough to oppose me.

My friends and business partners are judges, officials in the parties, executives at the media corps and the banks, ambassadors and State Department hacks, which of course also means CIA. I command enormous budgets for advertising and PR. Just for the lulz, I even put a fraction of that into deploying some cheap labor to dispense talking-points on Internet forums.

So surrender Dorothy! Pay me what you owe me for all the sunshine you have already absorbed, plus damages for stealing it from me, or I will squash you. You will pay, and so will those fucking peasants in India and Wherevistan whom I'm saving from blindness or whatever other lies I'm telling this week.

That's my business plan. Why do people think it's evil? Because they've been brainwashed by communists and science-haters, obviously! Do you hate Science?! Are you a right-wing Christian or something?

Pay me!!!

0 votes, 0 passes | Time left: Unlimited
	Agreed. Monsanto & Co. are more cartoonishly evil than the Joker.
	0 (0%)
	It's a tie with Halliburton, JP Morgan, etc.
	0 (0%)
	I support Science. Monsanto is a Legitimate Business defending its IP rights.
	0 (0%)
	I like to click! Click! Click, damn you!!!
	0 (0%)
	0 DU members did not wish to select any of the options provided.
Show usernames Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll

[Brigid]

1. You left out the option I would have voted for:

JackRiddler wins the internets for the day.

[JackRiddler]

7. Thank you most muchly.

[TBF]

2. Why do you hate our

corporate overlords? 'Murica *!$*_(@#)$*#_@*

[Lady Freedom Returns]

3. "I support Science. Monsanto is a Legitimate Business defending its IP rights."??????????

Why do you guys like to make me fight to not spit my coffee out in the library?

[JackRiddler]

4. You've forced me to add another day's late fees.

Hurry up and pay, you lousy thieves!!!

[whistler162]

5. What sunshine?

[JackRiddler]

6. The one that nature provides.

For "sunshine," substitute "biological species to which my company claims intellectual property rights." Should then become obvious what this is about. Thanks.

[JackRiddler]

8. Another day of charges, late fees, interest...

Pay up, damn you!!!

[JackRiddler]

9. Monsanto sues farmers constantly...

on the basis that they use seeds they grew themselves. Whether or not they intended to use seeds with the bt-resistant gene.

Norman Borlaug should have had that idea.