How much bigotry is okay?

[closeupready]

What if one of your acquaintances expresses a little bit of bigotry? Where is the line drawn, for you?

For me personally, even a little bit is too much. With regard to relationships that are tenuous and relatively superficial, I have no problem simply ending the relationship on the spot.

For deeper relationships, though, how do you respond? DO you respond, or do you bite your tongue?

[JaneyVee]

1. I don't think I could get into a "deeper relationship"

With someone even remotely bigoted.

[el_bryanto]

2. I got in trouble for expressing this opinion the other day

If it's just tenuous relationship than like you say, just end it.

If it's a situation where someone is being aggressive towards a weaker party - i.e. telling a racist joke in front of a minority or verbally attacking a minority, than you have an obligation to step in and protect the weaker party. Edited to add - Weaker may not be the right term here - and I apologize - but couldn't think of a better one.

If the person acting offensive has power over you - say it's a boss - than it's hard to know what to do. It seems morally right to say you should still stand up to them and let the chips fall where they may - but . . . I can understand if you have responsibilities you may not be able to do it.

But the one that's troubling is if they are a friend or someone that you care about. In that case I think you need to figure out the best way to approach it. If someone is your friend they probably have good qualities as well as bad ones - build on their good qualities to help them reject their bigotry. Bigotry shouldn't be acceptable, but if you can turn a person from a bigot to a non-bigot, that's better, in my opinion, than just cutting them off.

Consider it like a garden - you wouldn't burn down the garden at the first weed. You'd pluck out the weed, and continue to cultivate the garden.

Bryant

[closeupready]

5. It was something someone re-posted on FB,

an joke image in which the humor hinged upon a bigoted point of view.

So, yeah, I just unfriended, done with that one. lol

[nomorenomore08]

15. Great post. And yes, ideally we should be trying to encourage each other's better natures.

Where that's impossible, it may be best to cut ties.

[Shandris]

3. As a matter of principle, I'm going to point out that just about (if not) everyone who says 'any'...

...is, pretty much by definition, lying.

We wouldn't be -on- this site if we weren't bigoted towards Republicans, for instance. So the question -truly- is, "How much of the wrong kind of bigotry is okay?" Most people are incredibly bigoted towards appearance, a huge number on intelligence, religion gets a lot of bigoted remarks around here...

...in fact, it's pretty difficult to think of someone who fits -none- of those categories.

So yah. I guess I'm a bigot. Everyone is a bigot, and as such bigot is pretty much a useless word at this point. We need a new one.

[closeupready]

7. Okay, but are you disabled in some way? Or do you have family who are?

Or close friends? And if someone shared a joke about that disability (say, for example, down's syndrome, or alzheimer's, or something), would you laugh?

[Shandris]

8. Yes I am, as are two (extended) family members.

Mine is more hurtful in the long run, but much much less noticeable. I'd be very upset if someone made fun of them; I generally don't care about mine so much (what with it not being directly visible much).

No, I wouldn't associate with those kinds of people for long. I tend to give one 'fair warning', then after that I slowly disentangle from them. I find most kinds of bigotry to be very disturbing. But like I said, we all have our bigoted ways. My point being that while we shouldn't entertain others' bigotry, we must make conscious attempts to recognize our own as well (and perhaps find a better word for what I understand you're referring to). It's far too easy to forget just what bigotry actually entails in all of us, as humans.

[oldhippie]

10. That kind of bigotry is OK .....

..... (i.e. against republicans and the rich) because it is for the right reasons.

For *bad* bigotry, it depends. That's about as far as it is safe to say.

[Niceguy1]

11. so a rich person who does good

Still is deserving of bigotry?

I call bs, hate poisons the sould...ni matter whether the person feels it is warranted or not.

[MadrasT]

4. Mere acquaintences, I would ignore but distance myself from further interaction.

For people who I consider "friends", I call it out.

Almost every time, with occasional exceptions if I've am too exhausted to "get into it" with them.

And if it's someone who I have learned will just keep going on and on with their stupid bigoted shit no matter what anyone says, I just stop interacting with them.

Edit to add anectode:
I remember once when my generally liberal white dad told my younger sister to stop dating the Puerto Rican boy because "no decent boy would be interested in her after that" I was aghast. I said, "Dad... if someone doesn't want to date her because she used to date a Puerto Rican boy, I am pretty sure that is a good thing to know about and is not her loss." He did actually back off after that and held his tongue. (At the time I was around 22 and my sister was 16.)

[Texasgal]

6. I have some family members

who know that I have very strong opinions when it comes to any bigotry. We do not have these convos at all anymore which works for me. They know better.

[quinnox]

9. Depends

first, prejudice and bigotry aren't against the law, and are not thought crimes (yet). That is my bottomline on this kind of thing, I respect the freedom to hold any opinions or viewpoints, no matter how repellent.

On a personal level, it just would depend on many factors, such as, do they talk about this all the time, or is it a one time bad taste joke, etc.

Let's just say I'm very picky when it comes to making friends.

[William769]

12. I got my ass chewed out the other day for even bring this up.

Guess what they are in this thread too. I guess some people want the option to be bigots.

[closeupready]

13. Well don't you DARE even THINK of

leaving DU because of people like that! How ya' doing? Been a while since I've seen you here.

[William769]

14. Doing alright.

Can't keep a good man down.

Hope all is well with you also.

[el_bryanto]

16. That's not why you got chewed out

You got chewed out because you stated it in such a way as to attack everybody who wasn't exactly where you were.

Bryant