As I've gotten older, I'm becoming a wimp, and I don't like that!

[hamsterjill]

I'm 55 and I've had some knocks in my lifetime. I have always considered myself a very strong person, but lately, I've just gotten to the point that things that go wrong, even little things, simply take a greater toll on me. I look around and see friends and family dealing with a lot more than me, and I remind myself to be thankful.

And I AM thankful. But I just don't seem to be as resilient as I once was, and that bothers me.

Just wondering if anyone else feels this way? Is it just age? Is it having seen too much of what life can do? Is it cowardice? Is it even perhaps realistic with the world we live in, social media, 24-hour news, etc., etc.

Thoughts, anyone? Am I preaching to the choir? Or am I in the minority?

[RKP5637]

1. I think the endless 7x24 hr. crap that goes on with "social media, 24-hour news, etc., etc." can

be very wearing. I'm not a wimp IMO, but some days I just feel like saying F it all, because I sadly do think we are on our way to Idiocracy, and I also think mankind in the big picture in the long run will be a short lived species on earth ... other than perhaps some technologists who might escape somehow. ... but for the masses, I have my doubts. Far too much hatefulness, greed, selfishness, religious fervor, stupidity and ignorance around the world to deal with environmental factors, over population and dwindling resources in the long run.

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

2. Hormonal changes?

(And I suggest that for both males and females. Women aren't the only ones whose body chemistry changes with age.) Or shrinking support network, due to mortality of friends and relatives? Possibly also your body simply not being as resilient as it used to - I know I heal much more slowly from physical damage than I used to.

I think all of these sorts of things affect us as we get older, and many of us become more cautious as a result.

[RKP5637]

4. Excellent analysis/synopsis IMO!!!

[hamsterjill]

9. Yes, most definitely playing a part.

n/t

[femmocrat]

3. I used to get all fired up about issues....

Not so much anymore. Part of it is not giving a crap, part of it is probably a defense mechanism.

I still try to keep informed on important news, but it does take a toll. I realized long ago that maybe one person can make a difference, but I am not that person anymore. Let others take up the banners and fight the good fight. I don't have it in me anymore.

[IronLionZion]

5. Have you checked your testosterone levels?

If the doctor says its low, there are things that one can do to help raise testosterone through diet and exercise. I get more aggressive if I eat meat and lift heavy free weights.

[NCTraveler]

6. Dear hamster,

Do you have the ability to regroup every now and then? I'm talking a week or more at a time.

This part is not necessarily about your post as it would bring in too many assumptions on my part. I have seen so many people who work their asses off to get by. Their heads stay down and success is just making it through the daily grind. When younger, we can often do that and more. After a while, it takes its toll. We all need time to regroup. Get our heads up and look around us. Create a life inventory and assess where we are at. Without doing this type of thing it is easy to get worn down. Easy to get into a cycle where little changes. Easy to get into a cycle where one feels as though nothing more can be done.

Too many people aren't given the time to do this.

[hamsterjill]

7. I think your post must've hit a nerve.

Because I had tears in my eyes by the time I finished reading it. Sounds like it came from a voice of experience.

Yes, am regrouping as of this week. Week off from work but catching up on some personal stuff.

You convinced me! I'm taking a drive later today with some good music turned up loud.

I am definitely one who has worked her ass off her whole life with little to show for it. I know I am NOT alone in that. But I think my generation needs to start becoming creative as to how to address that because it is reality. But for today, I'm going to just drive...

[NCTraveler]

11. We don't get enough time to do these things.

I work too much. Went years without a vacation. Six to seven days a week. I was unhappy and was really an unproductive person. I was productive at work. Kept my bills paid. Someone needed help I was there for them. That was all it was about. Never took a deep breath. Never looked up. I met someone who really took an interest in me as I did them. Started taking free minutes and devoting them to that person. Then I started taking a little time for myself. A day here and a day there. I would drive to a local river I like to hike by and spend half a day there by myself. Thinking about myself and my surroundings. What do I want? What do I need? Still don't really get the chance to do the week vacation thing like I want to. This change helped me more than I can tell you. I was truly a good little soldier for capitalism. I still do consider myself that good little soldier, but now I am improving my worth as a person. When I read your op I felt like I understood, even if for different reasons. I have been there.

[PasadenaTrudy]

13. I have to do this too

I like going to northern NM by myself to regroup. I just watch the clouds and the sunsets. Eat good food. Look at the stars. I'm 50 and feel worn down by life, too. I'm in perimenopause, lost my mom and my sister a few years back. It's been tough. You have to step back and do nice things for yourself. For me, that means getting out of crazy Los Angeles for a week once a year. Wish I could afford to do it for good! A tiny house near Santa Fe is my dream. Hope you find some peace soon, lots of us feeling this way I bet.

[hamsterjill]

16. I hope you attain your dream!

I have much the same dream. I run a cat rescue and I'm frustrated right now. A relative and I have scrimped and saved and done without to get debt paid down, to get credit scores up and to FINALLY be in the shape to start looking for a place in the country to relocate our rescue to.

We can't find a damn thing in our price range. And we're not peasants! We both make a good income, we both have money, and we both are in good financial shape. There is just nothing available at this time. We keep looking and we keep hoping, and we keep talking to realtors, but so far, there's just nothing that we've found that would work for what we're trying to do. And we are being very liberal in our expectations. We know we are never going to find the "perfect" set up. But nothing even comes close.

I had a pretty easy perimenopause and easy transition into full menopause. But even the "easy" part has its issues. Take good care of yourself physically and please accept my condolensces on the loss of your mother and your sister.

[PasadenaTrudy]

17. Thank you...

I'd like to find a little casita to rent there someday. I'm not interested in owning, too much of a headache IMO. Rents are so cheap in NM compared to SoCal. I'd have to leave my boyfriend behind to do it, so not sure if it's worth it. He will have to stay in L.A. for his art/teaching career. We shall see!

[Xyzse]

8. Dude, I hit my 30s and I am nowhere near as brave as I once was.

I'm now scared of getting hurt which makes me jump a little lower.
I can't even think about doing a backflip any more.
It is pretty sad.

[awoke_in_2003]

10. As I have gotten older

I have developed a fear of heights

[Brigid]

12. I think we become more risk-averse as we age.

I am 56, and I made a decision a few years ago that I may have made differently when I was younger.

When I first went back to school a few years ago, I was going to major in Health Information Technology. But I found the anatomy classes we had to take boring, and more work than I really cared to do. Besides, there was no guarantee of getting into the program, because there are only a limited number of slots each year. I was more than a little irked at finding out about that when I had already taken some of the required courses. Advisors need to do a better job of warning students about such things! I knew I was going to have to decide whether to stick with HIT or change my major immediately. Taking all those courses and doing all that work and then having it all be for nothing if I didn't get into the program was not very appealing -- not to someone in her fifties. It would have meant starting over from scratch. Then, a few days after I found that out, I went to anatomy lab. As I walked to the end of the hall where the lab was, I began to notice tiny gnats flying around, and a godawful stench; there was a human cadaver in the lab. That did it. I walked out (I was not alone) and dropped the class. Now I seem to remember that it was the younger students who stayed. I switched to Paralegal Studies. It did set me back because the courses I had already taken were of no use now, but it was worth it.

I said all that to say this: When you get older, you know what you are willing to put up with and what you are not. And you make decisions with the knowledge that time is growing short. That is not conducive to risk-taking.

[PasadenaTrudy]

15. Great points

about risk taking. I find it oddly amusing that my brother, who is 57, has gotten back into motorcycles in the last few years. He raced motocross in his teens and early twenties. He and his old buddies now have dirt bikes again and go on grueling rides. They fall, get cut up, and keep going. I'm just glad he doesn't ride on the street I guess. I wonder if it's that realization that there is only so much time left, so better start doing stuff he enjoys...

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

14. "Old age isn't for sissies." Bette Davis