Don't allow your children to "fall into the grip of Satan"!

[Scuba]

[liberal N proud]

1. I think this falls under Weird News

It is so hard to believe there are people so obsessed with this they have formed an organization and developed methods to prevent a child from naturally exploring their own bodies.

self raping?

and dangerous sin zones? OMG!

[Brickbat]

8. No. It's satire.

[liberal N proud]

10. I will have to take your word for that

Because I know some of the fundies are just that insane. I know some fundies that are that insane.

[hobbit709]

2. I don't let kids go to church-that solves the problem of "the grip of Satan".

[alsame]

3. Self-raping? These people

need straitjackets.

[CurtEastPoint]

4. Like "Landover Baptist" this is a parody site.

[safeinOhio]

5. Don't worry watch this

[riqster]

6. My "sin zone" is between my ears.

Safe from my hands, surrounded as it is by such a thick skull. Hallelujah! Praise Cheese-Its!

[rpannier]

7. Went to the site

It's pretty funny
Best part is, it's intended top be funny

Laughed at the 'I am Lonnie Childs'

[B Calm]

9. but they say masturbation helps prevent prostate cancer. .

[Fuddnik]

11. Endorsed by Catholic Clergy.

Just put the kid face-down.

[hue]

17. Be sure to confess in detail your masturbation fantasies to the priest in the dark of the confession

confessional. Surely he wants to know aalll about it!!

[Marrah_G]

12. Gah- must learn to read the thread before commenting

They got me........

[N_E_1 for Tennis]

13. If he's in the "grip" of satan...

Is it really self abuse?

[littlemissmartypants]

14. Kicking just because this is so f*cking HILARIOUS. nt

[longship]

15. Nathan Poe may be correct.

Especially from some responses to this.

It is great satire, though. And great satire should always trigger a Poe.

[SCVDem]

16. Masturbation Saves!

It saves money on prostitutes, desperation dates and bad behavior because you are horney!

It helps us sleep and relax. It helps in developing staying power.

According to hotel porn rentals, it's also quick. 8 minutes on average. Sometimes staying power is overrated.

Plus, it's fun to share! It's not always solitary you know.

So I wear glasses and have Nair for my palms. NO PROBLEM!!!

[packman]

18. Sometimes I really believe

we share TOO much on DU.

[rurallib]

19. if the forced birth crowd really believed what they say

they would put every male masturbator in jail for wasting seed.
This would also cut down on juvenile crime.