Here's to the DU community. Cheers to us.

[cali]

I was touched and strengthened by the support most DUers gave me yesterday after I received that particularly loathsome IM from a fairly long term member of this forum.

I hesitated before posting it publicly. In fact, I started a message to the admins. I was sure they'd get rid of the guy who sent it to me, but before sending it off, I decided that despite how ugly and upsetting it would be to others, it should be seen because it represents a small but vocal faction of men here- maybe not to that extreme- but but in the same vein; men who really have nothing but contempt for women. Some fellow women DUers have been vocal about this problem and often been met with criticism and belittling for speaking out.

Some folks here did object to my having posted the offending IM- to airing this "dirty laundry" so openly, though no one who objected did so because the message was upsetting and obscene. I remain unclear as to why they felt so strongly that I should have gone to the admins instead of posting it. But most of you really, really had my back.

That meant a lot so a heartfelt thanks to all of you.

Eva

[arcane1]

1. It's still true: DU rocks!

[MineralMan]

2. I think you did the right thing by posting the offending

DU Mail message in GD. It helped get the problem dealt with relatively quickly and effectively.

[Marie Marie]

3. That PM was unbelievably offensive and I am sorry that you had to be

on the receiving end of that. We are behind you on this cali.

[TygrBright]

4. Thank YOU for choosing to take the risk.

All too many of us (and I'm an occasional offender in this) choose to avoid dealing with unpleasantness, "least said soonest mended," etc.

It's not always pleasant or easy to expose the ugly stuff, but sunlight IS the best disinfectant.

So, thanks.

appreciatively,
Bright

[Bluenorthwest]

5. Posting it was the right and only thing to do in this instance and took courage

nt

[riqster]

6. Posting it was the best thing. It was like shining a bright light on a cockroach.

Showed everyone how disgusting that poster's words and attitudes truly are. Anything less might not have had the impact. Good on you.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

7. That was the right thing to do.

Sometimes dirty laundry has to be aired or it will just sit in a heap and stink the place up. I was shocked to see language like that coming from someone who, by joining DU, positioned himself as a liberal - but I guess misogyny is not exclusively a conservative characteristic. If there are any more knuckledraggers like that on DU I hope they will be outed in the same way. Kudos to you for exposing this creep.

[leftstreet]

8. Cheers!

(Not sure what happened)

You're always good about posting articles and news at DU, and keeping it current and interesting for everyone

Cheers to you

[cali]

11. thanks, ls. this thread explains what happened:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10025243375

[navarth]

14. whoa, that was over the top

'AAO' is his name? I've never seen that name anyplace, you say he was a member of long standing? Strange, never heard that name...oh well.

Yeah he really took his stupid pills that day. Really egregious language, he deserved a good spanking for that one, along with a bar soap gargle.

You did right calling him on it. He makes it bad for us men who think it's low class to talk about women like that. And he's damn sure never going to get any love from a woman he talks to like that. Not any woman I would want, anyway.

[octoberlib]

9. Thank you for posting it, cali. As MineralMan said it enabled us to take action quicker

than might have been the case. Sorry you had to go through that.

[catbyte]

10. I missed the whole thing, but good for you, sister.

I'm here for you!

[lady lib]

12. There's nothing like the disinfecting power of sunlight. nt

[LeftishBrit]

13. k&r & you did the right thing!

When people are vicious bullies, one SHOULD 'tell tales' as otherwise they'll just carry on doing it some more, both to you and probably to others as well.

Sorry you experienced that; and it's a good thing that the nastygram poster got banned!

[lovemydog]

15. This makes me think of something Cali

When there is something abusive, of which you or perhaps more appropriate for a hypothetical Person B or the abused, it is silly and patronizing to question what Person B does with it. I never thought twice about you posting it. It was your reaction to it, to bring it out in the open and discuss it. I'm sick and tired of anyone questioning what Person B does with it. Some might decide not to go more public. Some might go nuts and smash something. Some others might cry and call a friend. Some others might carry it inside with frustration and shame. That is not relevant! What is relevant is that it indeed happens. It's real. It's hurtful. It's sickeningly abusive. Personally, I was delighted that you brought it public. And it led to some very interesting discussion. On my part, it also led to reflection & contemplation. And listening to others by reading their replies. I appreciate everyone here who participates in the spirit of discussion. I recognize that there are different opinions on some small things. What that jerk did, that is so out of bounds and off-limits for DU. I appreciate your participation here. Like you, I also give a heartfelt thanks to all. DU is my lifeline, by that I mean it's where I get to learn and laugh and share with many other good souls who want a better country & a better world. I've learned a lot here. I appreciate it!

[CTyankee]

16. Cali, that was a scathing experience for you. I was deeply troubled by the fact that it

happened on DU. A little freaked out, actually. I guess I never thought there would be anyone that repulsive and vile on DU...kinda thought it wouldn't happen here.

But it did. That was a wake up call to us all...and you helped make that happen.

[democrank]

17. Glad you got so much DU support, Cali.

~PEACE~

[Romulox]

18. I'm glad you brought it out in the open, and glad that the creep has been shown the door.

I sometimes find it hard to imagine the hate that some people have in their hearts. As I said in another thread, I could live three lifetimes and never be able to write anything so awful as that.

I'm sorry you had to go through that.

[DrDan]

19. proud to have served on one of the juries - good riddance to that poster

[cali]

23. thank you.

[Half-Century Man]

20. Posting it was the only viable answer

You cannot kill slime like this without sun light. Expose the filth, every time. Don't just let Admin know whats happening here, we all deserve to know.
Civil right leader (and democrat) Ella Jo Baker used to say, “If you have strong people, you don’t need strong leaders.” If we are really a kernel of something (or becoming a kernel) in the Democratic party/movement/cause we need strength. Stupid is heavy, injustice is slimy, and intolerance burns the ears and eyes; one requires strength to clean it up.

[uppityperson]

21. It was awful and needed to be publicly aired.

I posted little on your previous thread because everyone else was saying what I felt.

Incredible, the whole thing. Best wishes to you.

[1StrongBlackMan]

22. Cali ...

you and I disagree about just about everything ... except misogyny, violent threats and a$$holality, have no place on this board or, well ... anywhere.

[nilesobek]

24. I feel it should be criminalized to threaten someone that way.

I really enjoy some of your stories in the writing group.

[cali]

25. thank you so much. It's encouraging to hear that.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

34. +1

[malaise]

26. We disagree on a number of issues

but not that one. No DUer should have to tolerate such an offensive message

[Squinch]

27. You did the right thing that benefitted all of us AND you took heat for it. The least we could do

was have your back.

[rock]

28. Cali, I love your posts

I disagree with you often, but your posts always make good sense. And I could be wrong. Thanks.

[BainsBane]

29. Wise move on your part Cali

I'm glad you made it public.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

36. me too.

[hootinholler]

30. For future reference there's an alert link at the bottom of every PM

Goes directly to admin for review. I would have alerted first and then posted the content.

[cali]

32. why? what's the difference if you would have made it public anyway?

and as it turned out, there were no administrators around for quite a while.

[hootinholler]

37. Because it puts the issue on the list for admin review.

Posting it publicly relies on the thread surviving as a hot topic long enough for them to see it. In my experience it can be missed by them that way, putting it on the alert list gets it looked at by admins.

[cali]

38. but I did alert- shortly after I posted it publicly

so that shouldn't be a concern for you. Again, what's the difference which came first?

[hootinholler]

40. The order matters not

Nor am I concerned about your actions which were apropos.

I simply wanted to raise awareness that the alert link on a PM is a direct channel to admins that they definitely look at.

[a la izquierda]

31. Here here

You're one of the best posters here, so thanks for posting.

[cali]

33. thank you.

[TeeYiYi]

35. Gross.

I'm so sorry that happened to you, cali.

His disgusting IM to you is almost identical in verbiage to an ugly post that was directed at seabeyond in May. It was probably a sock of the same guy.

You did the right thing by posting about it and exposing him for the vile pig that he really was.

TYY

[Sheldon Cooper]

39. Yep - the same guy sent both messages, and I'm sure he's still here,

wearing yet another sock.