Fleeing Iraqis Relieved That Cheney Has No Regrets About War
BAGHDAD (The Borowitz Report)—Just days after former Vice-President Dick Cheney said that he had no regrets about the invasion of Iraq, people fleeing their homes across that war-torn nation expressed tremendous relief that he was at peace with his decision.
As news spread that Cheney would not change a thing about the 2003 invasion, Iraqis driven out of their villages and towns by marauding terrorists called the former Vice-President’s words well-timed and soothing.
Sabah al-Alousi, who fled Mosul when ISIS militants overran it last month, said that Cheney’s confident pronouncement about the invasion of Iraq “is the first good news I’ve heard in a long time.”
“As I’ve fled from town to town, looking for a place where I might not be suddenly slain for no reason, the one thought that kept nagging me was, ‘How does Dick Cheney feel about all of this?’” he said. “I can’t tell you what a relief it is to know he isn’t losing any sleep.”
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