Rick Perry Orders Dallas Cowboys to Mexican Border

[babylonsister]

Boom!

Just published 9:59 am
Rick Perry Orders Dallas Cowboys to Mexican Border


Credit Photograph by James D Smith/AP.


DALLAS—In his boldest move yet to address the immigration crisis, on Thursday Texas Governor Rick Perry dispatched the Dallas Cowboys to the United States’ border with Mexico.

In a photo opportunity with the Cowboys and several of the team’s cheerleaders, Perry explained the rationale behind his latest decision. “Those who would cross our borders illegally will have to contend with the power and fury of America’s Team,” he said.

Critics of the move dismissed it as political theatre, noting that once the Cowboys arrived at the border it was unclear what they would do there.

Additionally, there were questions about how effective the Cowboys would be in stopping illegal immigrants, since the team has the worst-ranked defense in the N.F.L.
















By Andy Borowitz
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/rick-perry-orders-dallas-cowboys-mexican-border

[Zambero]

1. And the cheerleaders chant?

Don't tell me. I'll bet it must be: "Push 'em back. Push 'em back. Waaaayyyyyyyy back!"

Border problem solved. By golly, that Rick Perry guy is a genius!

[yuiyoshida]

10. Duzy!

[oldandhappy]

2. grief. Is this real??!!

And the people in Texas think he is sane??

[etherealtruth]

4. No and many do

[Yavin4]

3. The Cowboys have been a .500 team for years now

Which means that half the undocumented will get through.

[Gothmog]

5. I love good satire

[Brother Buzz]

8. Satire? I'm waiting for Juanita Jean to start throwing down those scathing zingers

As we speak, those wheels are turning. Bank on it.

[RoverSuswade]

6. Rick Perry orders the city of Austin moved to Matamoros.

The city's liberal residents could be helpful in identifying kids coming from Central America and save the state of Texas millions in processing costs. (Plus it would turn Travis County red if enough folks from conservative New Braunfels would move north and fill the void).

[Roy Serohz]

7. He's do better with the Raiders

[yuiyoshida]

11. No way!

The Raiders moved once to Los Angeles, but than they came back to Oakland. They are staying no matter what!!!

[Roy Serohz]

12. Just pulling your leg

It's my way of saying that Rick Perry actually makes the late Al Davis look sane!

[yuiyoshida]

13. lol

True dat!

[dembotoz]

9. don't let tony romo throw anything--oh the humanity....

[iandhr]

14. The Cowgirls suck.

[freshwest]

15. Governor Goodhair's 'Stare At Mexico' Program Explodes Like A Hot Air Balloon.