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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsExxonMobil, Chevron Locked In Bidding War To Acquire Lucrative Pennsylvania Senator
HARRISBURG, PAWith both sides increasing their initial offers for the prized asset, multinational energy companies ExxonMobil and Chevron Corporation are currently locked in a fierce bidding war to obtain a lucrative Pennsylvania senator, sources confirmed Monday. This legislator represents an incredibly valuable commodity in the energy world, and both ExxonMobil and Chevron appear to be willing to pay whatever is necessary to acquire him, said oil and gas industry analyst John Blakey of the ongoing, back-and-forth bidding process for U.S. Sen. Patrick Toomey (R-PA), noting that both of the politicians potential owners are enthusiastic about the prospect of utilizing the treasured beltway resource for multiple terms. Granted, securing such a highly profitable elected official wont be cheapit never is. Both of these companies know that if they are fortunate enough to gain possession of this senator, the acquisition will pay dividends for years to come. At press time, sources confirmed that ExxonMobil and Chevron had entered talks with Pacific Gas and Electric, British Petroleum, Royal Dutch Shell, and Duke Energy to share claims in the senator for the foreseeable future.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/exxonmobil-chevron-locked-in-bidding-war-to-acquir,36561/
Guy Whitey Corngood
(26,500 posts)awoke_in_2003
(34,582 posts)it was an Onion piece before I opened the thread. It is getting harder to tell anymore.
BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)Well, actually, it is. But this would be the first time it got headlined.
awoke_in_2003
(34,582 posts)wildbilln864
(13,382 posts)enough
(13,256 posts)IronLionZion
(45,427 posts)Toomey needs to go. I doubt he can win re-election.
wandy
(3,539 posts)View this OP in light of the Onion piece......
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10025303333
Of all the things I am glad that I did not try to make a living at, writing satire ranks high on the list.
Fred Sanders
(23,946 posts)ReRe
(10,597 posts)... hook, line and sinker. It sounded so real!
McCamy Taylor
(19,240 posts)rhett o rick
(55,981 posts)Scarsdale
(9,426 posts)Every Sunday gop propaganda show will be fighting to have him on this week.
jmowreader
(50,554 posts)There is no way Toomey would sell himself to a single oil company; since he does nothing for his constituents he has plenty of time to work for as many oil companies as have money to pay him.