Thread for your favorite Robin Williams quotes

[Capt. Obvious]

Sean : Maybe you're perfect right now. Maybe you don't wanna ruin that. But I think that's a super philosophy, Will. That way, you can go through your entire life without ever having to really know anybody. My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderful idiosyncrasies. You know, she used to fart in her sleep. Just thought I'd share that with you. One night it was so loud, it woke the dog up. She woke up and gone, like, "Was that you?" I said, "Yeah." I didn't have the heart to tell her. Oh, God.

Will : She woke herself up?

Sean : Yeah. Oh, Christ. But, Will, she's been dead two years and that's the shit I remember. It's wonderful stuff, you know? Little things like that. Yeah, but those are the things I miss the most. Those little idiosyncrasies that only I knew about. That's what made her my wife. Boy, and she had the goods on me too. She knew all my little peccadillos. People call these things "imperfections," but they're not. That's the good stuff. And then we get to choose who we let into our weird little worlds. You're not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn't perfect either. But the question is whether or not you're perfect for each other. That's the whole deal. That's what intimacy is all about. Now you can know everything in the world, sport, but the only way you're findin' out that one is by givin' it a shot. You certainly won't learn from an old fucker like me. Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell a pissant like you.

Good Will Hunting

[shenmue]

1. Although I put this on another thread--

From "The Tonight Show," about how to do an impression of Pres. Bush Sr.:

"You take John Wayne, and you tighten up his ass..."

[Luminous Animal]

2. "Do you have suspenders that would go with the blue corduroy pants with the patches on the knees?"

I used to manage a children's clothing store. Robin and his wife would shop there regularly. He had the hairiest arms that I have seen on any human.

[Capt. Obvious]

4. He should have played Teen Wolf

[NuclearDem]

3. Ho! Five minute break!

[Capt. Obvious]

5. Dead Poets Society

John Keating: We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?

Dead Poets Society

[Gormy Cuss]

6. New York echo: "Hellooooooo........ out there......."

"Shut the fuck up."

[Initech]

7. His bit on hybrid cars was hilarious. Fuck green - go brown!

[Hosnon]

8. =Seize the day, boys. Seize the day.=

- Dead Poets Society

My childhood just got kicked in the face

[Skidmore]

9. On God and the platypus....

[Jefferson23]

10. Friend Like Me

Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves
Scheherezad-ie had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves
You got a brand of magic never fails
You got some power in your corner now
Some heavy ammunition in your camp
You got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how
See all you gotta do is rub that lamp
And I'll say

Mister Aladdin, sir
What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order
Jot it down
You ain't never had a friend like me
No no no

Life is your restaurant
And I'm your maitre d'
C'mon whisper what it is you want
You ain't never had a friend like me

Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service
You're the boss
The king, the shah
Say what you wish
It's yours! True dish
How about a little more Baklava?

Have some of column "A"
Try all of column "B"
I'm in the mood to help you dude
You ain't never had a friend like me

Can your friends do this?
Do your friends do that?
Do your friends pull this out their little hat?
Can your friends go, poof?
Well, looky here
Can your friends go, Abracadabra, let 'er rip
And then make the sucker disappear?

So doncha sit there slack jawed, buggy eyed
I'm here to answer all your midday prayers
You got me bona fide, certified
You got a genie for your chare d'affaires
I got a powerful urge to help you out
So what-cha wish? I really wanna know
You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt
Well, all you gotta do is rub like so - and oh

Mister Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three
I'm on the job, you big nabob
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
You ain't never had a friend like me

You ain't never had a friend like me, hah!

[Skinner]

14. He was so fucking great in that movie.

I don't think I have seen anything like it before or since. I must have been 20 years old when I saw that movie with a couple college buddies. We were so blown away -- by a motherfucking cartoon -- that we went back to the movie theater and watched it again the next day.

[Jefferson23]

17. Genius. I was just listening to CNN and there was a discussion how Robin would go in and

ad libbed a great deal for the film. They added the staff would just crack up laughing so hard they
could barely take it.

Aladdin is one of my all time favorites, period.

[amb123]

11. From Good Morning Vietnam

Lt. Hauk uses Army jargon to refer to a press conference to be given by former Vice-President Nixon

Adrian Cronauer: Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'Cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in K.P.

[Viva_La_Revolution]

12. Bangerang! from Hook

[pokerfan]

13. Do you think God gets stoned?

[bigwillq]

15. We don't read and write poetry because it's cute.

We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.

[pokerfan]

18. Language was invented for one reason, boys...

“So avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. It also won’t do in your essays.” (Dead Poet’s Society)

[bigwillq]

19. ....

[Brother Buzz]

16. See, the problem is that God gave man a brain and a penis.....

and only enough blood to run one at a time.

[SwankyXomb]

20. "I'm dwivin' in my caw"

[oberliner]

21. "I had sex with a chicken last night...

...I wanted to see which of us would come first."

[Shrek]

22. On golf

[babylonsister]

29. Hysterical! nt

[gratuitous]

23. {Smiling} "I have no idea . . ."

They interviewed Robin Williams for the VH1 special on Andy Kaufman. As you may recall, Kaufman's last bit was ragging on pro wrestling and its fans, incensing Jerry "The King" Lawler. Long after any other comedian would have quit, Kaufman kept coming back for more and more, appearing on several wrestling telecasts, and even on Carson to denounce pro wrestling. He went so far as to make up an ersatz championship belt, which he delighted in wearing, and "defending" by signing for matches, then running away. The Rules of Rasslin' say a belt can't change hands on a disqualification, so Kaufman got to keep his belt.

Just before he died, Kaufman had a meal with Williams, and Williams noticed that Kaufman kept fidgeting. He just couldn't seem to get comfortable sitting at the table in the restaurant. Williams finally asked Kaufman if he was wearing that stupid belt, and after some evasions, Kaufman finally admitted that, yeah, he had the belt on under his street clothes.

The interviewer for VH1 asked Williams if he thought Kaufman was goofing on pro wrestling, or did he really come to believe his own bit? Williams thought for a moment, smiled that broad, crinkly smile, and said, "I have no idea." I'd cap that with Williams' quote from the original post: "Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell you."

[Beringia]

24. Looking for Mr. Right or at least Mr. Right Now

[politicat]

25. From the Birdcage:

Armand: Yes, I wear foundation. Yes, I live with a man. Yes, I'm a middle- aged fag. But I know who I am, Val. It took me twenty years to get here, and I'm not gonna let some idiot senator destroy that. Fuck the senator, I don't give a damn what he thinks.

[littlewolf]

26. one of my favs was

he was getting some award and he comes up on the stage
with a floppy hat and said
"if you are on acid, this is a Frisbee.
just out of the blue .. he was so talented

[Electric Monk]

27. When in doubt, go for the dick joke.

[Mmm_Lager]

30. Winner...

[NBachers]

28. "Cocaine is God's way of telling you that you have too much money."

[MindPilot]

32. That was going to be mine....

so instead, "...something that makes me impotent and paranoid? I want a lot of that!"

[DiverDave]

31. Fiaw

nanoo-nanoo Robin. I just heard, damnit, just damnit.

I am heartbroken