Opinion: Depression snares 'Strong Black Women' too

[theHandpuppet]

The Cincinnati Enquirer
Opinion: Depression snares 'Strong Black Women' too
By Tamaya Dennard
August 14, 2014

In the past three months, I've lost two friends to suicide as a result of their battle with depression. I was left with so many questions. Why would two seemingly successful individuals want to end their lives? What happened to them to make them feel as if they would be better off dead? Didn't they know they were loved? There were way more questions than answers. I dealt with an incredible burden of guilt. Why didn't I see the signs? Could I have made a difference?

Prior to the death of my friends, I had always heard about depression. I knew someone that knew someone that knew someone who dealt with this issue but it never quite came down my street (so I thought). Depression is for weak people, right? People who can't handle the pressures of life get depressed. Depression is for white people. If you just pray for help, you will be okay. It will pass, right?

I decided to get past my uninformed and unfounded ideas about depression and actually learn about this monster. All of the notions I had about depression were quickly unraveled. As I discovered more about depression, I learned that not only did I know people in my immediate family who suffered but went untreated but I, too, displayed symptoms of depression in the past. In my life, I've known more struggle than many people will ever know. I dealt with prolonged periods of hopelessness that stemmed from a number of things; not living up to the expectations others had of me, afraid of not being successful (by society's standards), constantly struggling to make ends meet but most of all, feeling like if I shared my challenges that I would be seen as weak or unable to cope.

Growing up all I heard was this idea of being "A Strong Black Woman." I couldn't dare take the risk of being seen as anything less. This character is deeply intertwined with black women throughout history. She maintained her home as well as her master's home, completely unfazed by life's challenges – all without missing a beat, asking for help, complaining or displaying emotion. So I suffered in silence because that's what was expected of me. This is shocking news to people who know me because I've always been a social butterfly and I never missed a beat in that respect. I never stopped being the life of the party....

MORE at http://www.cincinnati.com/story/opinion/contributors/2014/08/14/opinion-let-depression-end-suicide/14050391/