A REAL Feminist.

[littlemissmartypants]

I have been a feminist all of my life.

I was raised by a feminist man. Tonight a man grabbed my ass. I am over 50 yrs old. I turned around and calmly asked "Who grabbed my ass?" 

The young man confessed and I quickly popped him in the stomach and went about my business. 

After I returned I approached him and told him this... 

I want you to make eye contact with me because we need to have a conversation. When you grabbed my ass you disrespected me, it was an unwelcome touching of my body and it was assault. If you ever touch me or any other woman like that again she, like me, has the right to call the police because you are guilty of assault. DO you understand me? Do want me to call the police? 

Guess what he said.


 

[Luminous Animal]

1. Booyah! Respond an assault with an assault! Pop in the stomach! Pop him again! And pop him

once more. That'll teach him.

Ayup! Punchin' out the men folk will teach'em not to fuck with us wimmen folk.

[littlemissmartypants]

5. Honesty. I could have been hyperbolic.

I am a real person.
What's your reflex when someone attacks you?

Stand and do nothing ?
Say thanks ?
Cry ?

Perhaps you have no appreciation of chronological events.
At least I didn't grab his crotch in retaliation.

I am sure if I related this story to his mama she would have done worse than the contact the back of my forearm on his sixpack and he is a grown man.

Would you have me cry and say I'm sorry?

[Luminous Animal]

7. A reflex is a mindless reaction to a stimulus.

You purposely sought out your attacker and then you purposely attacked him.

And his mama should pop him one, too?

That'll teach him a lesson when he steps out of line. Just give him a "pop".

Ahem. That is what physical abusers do to justify their abuse.

[BainsBane]

8. She is entitled to defend herself

You can be sure the guy will think twice about doing it again. They do that stuff because they get away with it. I wouldn't respond as she did, but I have no problem with her doing so. The cops wouldn't either. If he had punched another guy, that guy could punch back. Why should she sit there and let him assault her?

[Luminous Animal]

9. Giving a person a "pop" after calming turning around and asking who assaulted you, is not

defending yourself. That is retaliation.

[BainsBane]

10. I don't think it is legally

I think it's comparable to a guy returning a punch with a punch.

[Luminous Animal]

13. Groovy. Eye for an eye. Tooth for a tooth.

[BainsBane]

14. How do you think a woman should respond while being raped?

Turn the other cheek?

I don't think you really believe what you are saying tonight.

[Luminous Animal]

18. Hahaha! Her reaction was not a reflex to an an assault. She actually had to seek her assaulter

who, for some odd reason outed himself, and then she physically assaulted him!

Their was ZERO self defense in this scenario.

[mythology]

54. If the second hit had happened immediately after the first

then your analogy would be closer to valid. Instead there was a gap of time before the second action. That and the act of grabbing one's ass, while obviously wrong and on the continuum of sexual assault is clearly also not rape, so speculation on what one can do in response to that is different than on a lesser act.

Instead the poster describes seeking out the person and then committing a violent act to one degree or another (her description of her act has changed). It wasn't an instinctive act in the same moment of the initial act. It was a decision to engage in violence.

[Luminous Animal]

11. Indeed. Plenty of women and children get a "pop" and will think twice about "doing it again".

[BainsBane]

12. You are comparing a sexual assailant

to an abused woman or child? You cannot be serious.

Why are you so concerned about the well-being of the predator rather than the woman, a fellow DUer, who was assaulted?

[theHandpuppet]

16. Damn good question

I don't suppose we should hold our breath waiting for an answer.

[Luminous Animal]

21. Derp

[theHandpuppet]

38. Makes about as much sense as the rest of your replies

Why not answer the question?

[littlemissmartypants]

50. Some people don't like to answer questions but like picking fights instead. nt

[littlemissmartypants]

22. I like how the chronological events are twisted as well.

And I am the aggressor in the poster's version. ~ Making note to self. ~
I wanted to get down the steps and out of the situation. If I had not put the soft fleshy part of the back of my lower arm into his sixpack who knows what he was going to do next.

[Luminous Animal]

28. Nope. Never said you were the aggressor. Only that, after that you ascertained who had attacked

you, you reacted with violence.

[littlemissmartypants]

29. ...

"She actually had to seek her assaulter ( FALSE )
~he was standing right next to me~

who, for some odd reason outed himself, and then she physically assaulted him! ~Nudged him out of my way~

Their was ZERO self defense in this scenario." Also false. I defended myself quite well, with words, my 'inside' voice and no fear.

All movement was proximal. There was no hunting, chasing or seeking out, as you put it. But your version of my life is really interesting. Carry on.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10025399111#post18

[Luminous Animal]

17. I am referring to the violent justification. But you know that and you apparently believe that

violence should be met with violence.

And I don't give a flying fuck about her predator. I give a flying fuck that her initial response was measured violence.

[BainsBane]

19. She responded to violence with violence

You have focused entirely on her response rather than the assault. If you think your argument is making sense, and I should understand something other than what you are saying, you are wrong. Your analogy was an awful one.

[Luminous Animal]

23. I agree. My analogy is awful. But only for the fact that every person who resorts to violence

has an excuse. Resorting to violence, unless facing a life threatening situation, is not an excuse to commit violence.

[littlemissmartypants]

26. I have seen and been the victim of violence and what I did ain't it.

If you have ever pushed your way through a crowd you are guilty of violence by the definition you are using. The fact that I let it go until I came back with the pizza that I graciously went to get for him and his cohorts and THEN had that little chat shows extreme restraint on my part. Twist it up any way that works for you or re-read the OP. I think you may be missing something.

[Luminous Animal]

30. Ass grabbed. Confrontation. Confession. Popping in the stomach. Popping is violence.

And then you later try to mitigate the "popping" with "nudge".

Yes. Grabbing your ass was fucked up. Popping him, as a measured response, was also fucked up. You actually had to ask who grabbed you, got a confession, and then resorted to violence and "popped" him.

[littlemissmartypants]

32. So if I grabbed your ass what would you do?

[littlemissmartypants]

35. Have you ever touched another person that said or did something you didn't like?

Confrontation. Didn't happen shug.

[littlemissmartypants]

36. And if popping is violence then remember that the next time you touch someone who

Last edited Sun Aug 17, 2014, 06:57 AM - Edit history (1)

Says something you don't like.

Some would argue touching of any kind without permission is strictly prohibited and could be classified as violence, including kissing.

I wonder what swing of the pendulum you attach to with that notion.

Reality is you appear to feel comfortable painting me as an evil aggressor when you have also apparently missed the crux of the entire interaction. Interesting focus. Makes me think you may be the victim of recent or ongoing abuse.

I am not ashamed of my reaction and hold firm to this statement: If you personally have ever pushed your way through a crowd you are guilty of violence by the definition you are using.

I will not be shamed for or by my actions. They were effective and I will do it all again if need be. If I was a man and reacted as I did some would even call it "horseplay"
or horsing around.
You may need to clean your paintbrush for the next picture you paint. This one was somewhat cloudy.

Love, Peace and the Righteous Fight.
~ Lmsp

[Luminous Animal]

20. I am comparing using violence as a justification to teach someone a lesson.

[littlemissmartypants]

24. Nudged is violence? Interesting. eom

[Luminous Animal]

25. So a pop is now a nudge, eh?

[littlemissmartypants]

27. I love a good semantic argument. Let er rip. nt

[Luminous Animal]

31. Language is a virus.

[littlemissmartypants]

34. And some asses are smart asses. eom

[DiverDave]

42. If I saw it I'd have slapped his face

you stepped in it, la.

[Inkfreak]

40. Jury results.

ALERTER'S COMMENTS

Poster gets assaulted, and this nitwit verbally attacks and berates her for responding. Hurtful, rude, insensitive and otherwise inappropriate - four out of six potential criteria met. Please hide.

You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Sun Aug 17, 2014, 03:34 AM, and the Jury voted 2-5 to LEAVE IT.

Juror #1 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: The poster is not verbally attacking the OP simply for responding to the guy who grabbed her. The poster is critical of the method that the OP used to respond to that guy. She may have embellished her reply in a way that the OP was insulted by, but the point was made that responding to an assault with an assault is wrong. It is a valid point.
Juror #4 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: In context, the alerted-upon post makes sense and does not violate community standards.
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #6 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No, I won't hide. And this OP reeks of bullshit.
Juror #7 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given

[littlemissmartypants]

44. Thanks. eom

[littlemissmartypants]

49. Yes, Juror #6

Sometimes life is stranger than fiction. Thanks for your support.
And to the alerter...Thanks for your support, too. Funny how a real life event is discounted and ridiculed while the so called news, that people eat like candy every day at dinner time, muddies minds and reality.

[RiffRandell]

53. Thanks to the alerter who's just keeping it real here.

As in a real fucking joke.

[stevenleser]

55. Her other choice to send a strong message was to have him arrested.

I think the person she hits preferred the lesson she gave to that one. Sexual battery would be a terrible thing to have on your record. If OP got the message across and the guy she hit doesnt do it again, she did a real service to him and to the community.

I completely get that you are anti-violence and I appreciate that aspect of your response. But I think this is one of the better of the options she could have chosen.

[tblue37]

3. Not just assault. That constitutes sexual battery as well! nt

[littlemissmartypants]

6. I had to dumb it down to get my message across. eom

[Warren DeMontague]

15. He probably said nothing, and slinked away. Or crapped his drawers, first.

Not cool.

Hopefully he won't pull it again, though. You probably scared the bejeezus out of him, as well you should have.

[Enthusiast]

33. Kicked and recommended.

[littlemissmartypants]

37. Thank you. nt

[theHandpuppet]

39. Actually, I commend you for your restraint.

Here's a for Miss Smarty P.

[betsuni]

41. He said something along the lines of,

"You should be flattered that anyone still even looks at your ass," right?

[littlemissmartypants]

46. ...

Logical. But he did say it has "just the right amount of round" whatever that means...nice ass, the long version I guess. Apparently I was supposed to take it all as a compliment, that statement and the grab. I guess I could have said something about that to him as well but I was trying to get out and down the steps.

[betsuni]

51. Well, then ... congratulASStions for having a nice round ass.

"Who grabbed my ass?" Who grabbed my ass?
Obsessed with asses:

[Depaysement]

43. So, back to the story

What did he say?

[Crabby Appleton]

45. nothing

it's a fantasy

[littlemissmartypants]

48. LOL. nt

[littlemissmartypants]

47. He said.

I'm sorry.

[Gormy Cuss]

57. And where does the REAL feminist part come in?

I'm missing that in the narrative. Is this thread in response to some other one?

[mercuryblues]

52. Holy shit

responding to a sexual assault is considered another assault? For real? I have given a bloody nose to one guy who tried to grab my breasts. I guess I should be doing a life sentence for that. Fuck that shit. Just fuck it all the way to hell. What a disgusting thing to type. I guess women should say thank you for grabbing my ass, would you also like some breast action? Talk about a fucking arrogant attitude.

Time to start serving up our women to men, so they won't feel neglected or the need to assault women as they see fit.

FFS Why is it the abused fault for teaching the abuser a lesson that his father should have taught him years ago?

[stevenleser]

56. I stared at that for a while also trying to figure it out.

It would never occur to me that it was OK to touch intimate parts of a woman's body without her permission and when presented with that scenario, I would expect all kinds of bad results for anyone who did it.

I can only assume that Luminous is one of those folks that abhors violence and a violent response in any situation. The Gandhi satyagraha thing.

As far as I am concerned, you and the OP did the world, and frankly the men who needed to be straightened out, a huge favor.

[nomorenomore08]

58. I guess it just shows the stupidity of knee-jerk pacifism.

Can't go through life letting people do whatever they want to you.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

59. Girl, what did he say. Don't leave a sister in the dark. They ain't right! LOL!

Kudos to you, sister. I would've kicked in the nuts, too!