I Finally "Get" White Privilege and I'm Sorry

[kpete]

WED AUG 20, 2014 AT 05:58 PM PDT
I Finally "Get" White Privilege and I'm Sorry
by pajoly

This is important enough for me to say out loud in this crowded room.

I'm 50. I'm a white male.

Still, I'm also liberal. I live in a predominantly black neighborhood. My wife coaches a girl's softball team where the kids are almost all African American. We've had to confront racism from other teams.

...Yet, it was not until now -- not even after watching the drama unfolding from the murder of Michael Brown, staying up until 3AM nightly watching events unfold. No, not until carefully listening to Van Jones late last night speak of the subconscious nature of racism and then finally listening to actor and activist Jesse Williams that I finally get it. How ironic this should happen while I sit in a hotel room five miles from Ferguson. It must be in the air.

I get it. I am sorry.

Indeed, I now know that my white privilege does not require anything from me for it to exist. No matter where my heart is, whether it be colored in hate or exalted in equality, my white privilege is there. I now understand I was born with it.

Yet, born with it, I cannot thus owe an apology for it; I had no role in the womb in its cultural persistence. What I do owe is an apology for not recognizing it fully, not understanding completely enough to leverage that understanding to forcefully argue for affirmative action.

I owe an apology for thinking it something I could reject if I wanted to. I cannot, because, as an American white person, it emits from my skin -- a cultural pheromone traveling at the literal speed of light. I walk into a convenience store late at night where a lone cashier awaits and my white privilege manifests as a sigh of relief the cashier. When my path crosses with a cop, my white privilege cloaks me in near invisibility; I pose no threat.

I get it. I am sorry.

Because, when I was blind to it, it is all too easy to think affirmative action is not needed. Not being wakeful to the reality of white privilege, a 21st century white male instead sees only the unfairness to him; he does not want to "lose" a job opportunity to a black person if his skill set is equal. The slaves were made free generations before he was born, after all. Why is he -- me, I -- being "discriminated" against?

I get it. I am sorry.

I now understand that -- like the existence of 'good' by definition and mere measurement requires the existence of 'evil' -- affirmative action MUST exist where white privilege exists. There must be affirmative action; we must visibly hack the fossilized cultural grain of white privilege, if only as our feeble attempt to tell our black brothers and sisters we recognize the inherent unfairness and unsheddable nature of our own privilege.

I get it. I am sorry.



(I think Daily Kos allows more than 4 paragraphs - let me know if I am wrong - I simply could not delete one word, kp)
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/08/20/1323332/-I-Finally-Get-White-Privilege-and-I-m-Sorry

[tblue37]

1. K&R. nt

[rustydog]

2. Kick!

Well said

[GitRDun]

3. I'm sorry too...

51, white. I had no idea this much institutional racism existed, particularly with law enforcement. Jeezus, how could I not see all these crimes as a pattern.

We all need to work together to do something about these crimes against our own.

[Marrah_G]

4. Spot on

[KeepItReal]

5. Apology accepted

I only speak for myself, but I know my peeps would agree with my sentiments.

I wish I could kick and recommend this everywhere.

Thank you kpete for being open to enlightenment and evolving.

[ancianita]

6. K & R

Because I've been there, too.

[Squinch]

7. Kick. Great description. I hope the deniers here read this. Though they will probably continue

to insist that it doesn't exist.

[Warren Stupidity]

8. I just look at the plain fact that I never had to warn my sons of the peril of all encounters with

the police. It was not and is not my expectation that any such encounter could be deadly. Once you "get" that, you start to see the rest of the nearly invisible structure of our racial caste system.

[Fred Sanders]

9. What a privilege it is for some not to have that talk with your son. What a release and relief.

Release and relief is the privilege. Everyone should get some.

[DoBotherMe]

31. Duh

reread the Original Post.

[arcane1]

35. This again?

[BobbyBoring]

10. Brilliant!

I think we all go through a period of denial. I have no excuse as I was born in Biloxi Miss in 1953. I saw it personally. The " No darkies" ( as Black folks were affectionately known as" signs were everywhere.
The sad thing is, I thought we had made a lot of progress until 2008 when we elected the first African/American president. It seems to revert back to where we were when I was a youngin.

I am privileged.

[kenichol]

11. I am a priveleged 74 year old white man

and there is little I can do about it but to never forget that I did absolutely nothing to earn this privilege. I was born privileged.
I have black friends who worked in the fields for their masters. I have relatives, masters, that owned those fields. I didn't make this discovery - I read it in a book. The title of this book is "Gather at the Table", The Healing Journey of a Daughter of Slavery and a Son of the Slave Trade. by Thomas Norman De Wolf and Sharon Leslie Morgan. Beacon Press www.beacon.org. Buy it.

[Half-Century Man]

12. The realization kicked me between the eyes about 6 years ago.

Just before the election of our current president.

[japple]

59. I realize this every time I hear the yahoos I work with talk about President Obama,

immigrants (excluding their ancestors), refugee children, and I realize it every time I hear most of the mainstream "media" and their vomiting heads talk about the President. The man who was ELECTED to the highest office in the land has not and cannot get the respect he deserves in his own country. Nothing he does or has ever done will be acceptable in the eyes of some. It is a sad state of affairs when the President of the United State is considered somehow less capable because of the color of his skin.

[Half-Century Man]

67. I beg to differ

It is a deplorable state of affairs when anybody is considered somehow less capable because of the color of their skin. Or their genitalia, their genitalia preference in sex partners, their acceptance that their identity as a person conflicts with their birth genitalia, their opinions and personal relationships with any higher order being (both visible and invisible), where they happened to have been born, etc etc.... ,

[japple]

76. Why do you beg to differ? I agree with you that it is a sad state of affairs when one

is considered unfit to serve based on the color of one's skin and, as you said, their sexual preference, etc. Did you mis-read my post?

[Half-Century Man]

78. I am just pointing out your statement was too specific.

I didn't mean to offend, just to widen the claim.

[japple]

89. You didn't offend me. It's just that the discussion started in the OP is about

white privilege, and that's what I was responding to.

[Number23]

13. There are a few folks that DESPERATELY with a capital D need to be paged to this thread

TBH

[redqueen]

26. TBH, I doubt it would help.

Cause some people are DESPERATELY with a capital D clinging to their white male privilege for all it's worth.

[littlemissmartypants]

38. True. And plain old male privilege runs close second.

The notion of privilege has been a twisted one and undermines the basic dignity and respect we could afford each other in the interim.

Love, Peace and Shelter.
Lmsp

[boston bean]

50. TBH...

I agree!

[starroute]

14. But what's the next step?

Last edited Thu Aug 21, 2014, 01:58 PM - Edit history (1)

When I was 12 or 13 and reading a lot of historical novels, I often used to ask myself the question, what would you have done if you were a progressive-minded French aristocrat on the eve of the French revolution?

Do you go out into the slums and try to help the poor? Do you give away all your worldly possessions? Or do you use what privilege and status you have to press for reforms? And even if you do, is that enough?

And when the revolution comes, what if anything are you owed? Do you have a right to be safer and more secure than other aristocrats because you meant well? Or are you permanently tainted by the circumstances of your birth?

It's 55 years later now, and I'm still asking the same questions -- only in terms of the current situation. Which is to say, that it's all very well to admit that you benefit from white privilege, but what are you obligated to do about it? And whatever you do, is that enough?

[1StrongBlackMan]

43. Great questions ...

I, as a Black man (and most Black folks that I know), do not begrudge your privilege ... once you acknowledge that it exists. Your privilege really is not a problem for me, or Black folks, in general, except when you refuse to acknowledge it.

What to do about it? Acknowledge it ... talk to other white folks to help them get to the point of acknowledgement ... use, and encourage other folks of privilege, to use the privilege to press for change. And I would argue that when a critical mass of folks with privilege come to acknowledge that privilege, there will be little to press to change, as people of good faith will no long enforce, or expect, that privilege ... no one will blame "reverse discrimination" for their loss of a job to an equally qualified; but, Black competitor ... no one will blame the Black guy for his death; while explaining how terribly, and tragically, disturbed the white killer is/was ... But more importantly, when every parent has to have "The Talk" with their kids ... whether that "talk" be about how NOT to get shot by that cop; or, steps to take to NOT get raped at a party, then things will change, as the privilege will no longer exist.

But therein lies the problem, too many have never had to have that "talk", so it's not an issue for from.

[3catwoman3]

15. Very, very well said.

i am a 63 yr old frog-belly pale woman. I have said for many decades that I take no pride in being "white," but have been grateful for how easy it has made my life. Total luck of the genetic draw that my soul/spirit chanced to inhabit the fertilized egg of 2 married, educated adults who were 29 and 30 when I was born, and who had the means to send me to college.

Could I have become a nurse practitioner with a master's degree had I been born to a single teen aged mom who had a skin color not valued by the society she lives in? Possible, but it would most certainly have been a hell of a lot harder.

[DoBotherMe]

32. Open your mind

[cyberswede]

33. Do you think class disparities affect white people and people of color equally?

I don't.

SES and race and ethnicity are intimately intertwined. Research has shown that race and ethnicity in terms of stratification often determine a person’s socioeconomic status (House & Williams, 2000). Furthermore, communities are often segregated by SES, race, and ethnicity. These communities commonly share characteristics of developing nations: low economic development, poor health conditions, and low levels of educational attainment.

SES Impacts the Lives of Many Ethnic and Racial Minorities

Discrimination and marginalization are sometimes barriers for ethnic and racial minorities seeking to escape poverty (Corcoran & Nichols-Casebolt, 2004).

African American children are three times more likely to live in poverty than Caucasian children. American Indian/Alaska Native, Hispanic, Pacific Islander, and Native Hawaiian families are more likely than Caucasian and Asian families to live in poverty (Costello, Keeler, & Angold, 2001; National Center for Education Statistics, 2007).

Although the income of Asian American families is often markedly above other minorities, these families also often have four to five family members working (Le, 2008).

Minorities are more likely to receive high-cost mortgages: African Americans (53 percent) and Latinos (43 percent), in comparison to Caucasians (18 percent) (Logan,2008).

Unemployment rates for African Americans are typically double those of Caucasian Americans. African American men working full time earn 72 percent of the average earnings of comparable Caucasian men and 85 percent of the earnings of Caucasian women (Rodgers, 2008).

http://www.apa.org/pi/ses/resources/publications/factsheet-erm.aspx

[NOLALady]

73. You could have been born

to married, educated, professional adults (29 and 30 years old) who happened to be Black. Your life would have been harder than the child born to a single teen aged White mom.

[Uncle Joe]

16. Kicked and recommended.

Thanks for the thread, kpete.

[AverageJoe90]

17. A bit of a tough call, this one.

He does actually make some good points here. But it also seems that he also uses the literalist interpretation of "white privilege". Which isn't good.

So what to do.....I suppose I'll have to think it over. But at least this fellow deserves credit for being decent(i.e. none of this self-loathing "all white people are to blame" crap) about sharing his viewpoint(i.e. that what he sees is "white privilege", instead of structual DISadvantage as most liberals of all ethnicities do.), though, even if he certainly is approaching things the wrong way.

Again, let me reiterate this key point: I think his heart's in the right place. And I wish him well.

[Quayblue]

45. I think the key in the misunderstanding is the requirement of "self loathing"

And in fact, it would make me more suspicious of the person's motives. No need to hate oneself to recognize others' hardships.

[AverageJoe90]

54. "No need to hate oneself to recognize others' hardships." That's true.

To be truthful, though, I kinda had to learn this the hard way.

[calimary]

60. Welcome to DU, Quayblue.

Good to have you with us. True enough. No need to hate oneself to recognize others' hardships. I will say this, though, as a white woman in her early 60s - I think women in general have a built-in sense of this and a deeper appreciation of this as well. WE TOO have been shoved into second-class-citizen status. WE TOO have been considered property. WE TOO have been considered subservient. Not equal. That's a fight we women are still fighting. STILL can't get the Equal Rights Amendment pushed all the way through. There are STILL people in this day and age, shockingly enough some of them women, who believe strongly that women should not have the right to vote. I've heard them and seen them. I think women of ANY color automatically "get" this.

Granted, I have never had to have "that" talk with my kids as they stepped through the front door from the safety of our home into the broad daylight or the night. They'll never know that strange reality that develops when one walks past some police officers - and one is African American, and how the complexion of the whole situation can change, pivoting ONLY on THAT. But by God they know that this condition IS real, and DOES affect others, including friends of theirs.

[Quayblue]

82. Thank you for the welcome

And the eloquence of your response. And sadly, it's not JUST the police, it's dealing with other facets of society too. I am in a hostile work environment currently (which brought me to DU while googling). One of my main issues is figuring out if this is an EEOC situation, and I have to walk this line to not damage myself and hurt my family in the process.

I don't like talking about my experiences because they hurt, but I will eventually have to for the greater good.

Again, thank you for the kind welcome. I appreciate it.

[calimary]

83. Damn - sorry you have to deal with that BS!

It's enough effort just to have, perform, and keep a job PERIOD these days, without that extra issue breathing down your neck. My sympathies. I've been in hostile work environments before but not in an EEOC situation. Funny - back when I was first working, I got hired BECAUSE of EEOC. My first several jobs originated simply because they needed to hire a woman. Because they had to be able to check off that box. I went through several newsrooms carrying the title "first girl". How many times I was dubbed with the cutesy little slogan "girl-reporter"! A regular Lois Lane LOL. As if I was one big professional vagina on two legs. Always sorta shrugged it off although I did find it rather patronizing.

And lo these many years later, Ferguson MO happens, and I find a photo in the coverage that just smacks me in the face like a cream pie:

[IMG][/IMG]

God, I frickin' LOVE this photo!!!! Whoever that woman is, she speaks for ME!!!!

[1StrongBlackMan]

92. Well put ...

here was an article posted to DU a while back that talked about Black folks' awareness of/sensitivity to racism that, even the most ell meaning white person might miss; it's because, it's the Black person's every day lived experience ... its a survival mechanism. This is easily transferable, and understood by, other oppressed groups.

But:

Granted, I have never had to have "that" talk with my kids as they stepped through the front door from the safety of our home into the broad daylight or the night.

I would argue that if you have daughters (grand-daughters, nieces), you no doubt have had A, if not, THE "talk" with them ... as you've counseled them on how NOT to get raped, how NOT to be taken advantage of ... how NOT to take those attempts as a measure of their worth, or more generally, how to comport their selves in an unfair/hostile world.

That's what "The Talk" is really about.

I've given "The Talk" to my male nephews and the Black males that I mentor ... I've given the same, but different, talk to my Black Daughter.

[calimary]

96. Actually, that's a really good point, 1StrongBlackMan.

And you're correct. I have indeed had another version of "that" talk with our daughter. Our son got similar guidelines - they both went to karate class in the neighborhood, starting when they were very young. Our daughter went on to excel in a high school self-defense course, and a LOT of her karate instruction fed into that rather effectively. So, true, I wanted her cautioned.

We STILL give a slightly different version of "that" talk to the boys every time they go out on tour. My best friend's son is the band's tour manager. And my friend is SUPER worried about this one. But it's TOTALLY different - although in one way BOTH those talks have to do with the sanctity of a young woman's body. The daughter got the "here's how you avoid or thwart the rape/rapist." The son got a two-pronged talk - first, how you understand the word "NO," AND in second, the event of a "YES," how you protect your young love interest from getting pregnant. How YOU do it, YOU take the responsibility. YOU - um - "dress it up" before you enter. YOU put on the so-called glove. YOU take the preventive steps. YOU make sure the precautions are taken. YOU man up And. Take. Responsibility.

In another respect, both our kids also were instructed about proper conduct around police, not getting in trouble, not looking for trouble, not being nogoodniks. Like defensive driving or preventive maintenance.

It's a version of "that" talk, alright. But it's still quite different than the one you 1SBM find yourself needing to give to the young ones in your orbit. It could be ANY of our children, regardless of color, who could easily find themselves at the wrong end of a rogue cop encounter in this day and age. I'm sure police are on eggshells all over the country as they are compelled to be mindful of civil liberties, extreme-versus-unnecessary use of force, and other issues. I'm sure THEY are getting their own version of "that" talk, too.

But the facts and the statistics are still hard to get around, deny, or obfuscate. It's DRAMATICALLY more hazardous for a young black man or woman leaving the safety of his/her home every day to go out into the community or the larger world - than when a young white man or woman does so. DRAMATICALLY different. Here in SoCal and other places, that danger also applies to young brown men and women and what they face. Whites don't ever deal with much of that, either.

WHO said we were post-racial here in America? Well, I'm one who perhaps naively hoped so - with the election of Barack Obama to the highest office in the land. I assumed by that fact that we had indeed turned a page as a country. This supposedly was proof. How wrong I was. Hell, I should have known but I was so eager to embrace the idea of change and evolution and true social progress - which we NEED to see in this country!!! What's happening in Ferguson just underscores how badly we need that, how urgently we all need to grow up and get past this prejudice, Get OVER It. Grow up, move forward, and just frickin' GET OVER IT. LET IT GO, dammit! This is the 21st Century forcryingoutloud! And as you've undoubtedly seen here and elsewhere, 1SBM, we as women are still making that point - about the very sanctity of our own bodies! In this SAME 21st Century forcryingoutloud.

Here's my favorite photo again, and it sure speaks for me:

[IMG][/IMG]

[1StrongBlackMan]

49. Not this "literalist" tripe, again ...

that what he sees is "white privilege", instead of structual DISadvantage as most liberals of all ethnicities do.), though, even if he certainly is approaching things the wrong way.

Most liberal, particularly those of color, understand that those NOT "structurally disadvantaged" are benefitted by that lack of disadvantage (i.e., privileged). And, in America, those NOT "structurally disadvantaged" (by virtue of their race) are white; ergo, the term, white privilege.

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

77. Oh come on!

You didn't think we could actually go a single WP thread without folks onsite who reject any sort of definition of 'white privilege' or 'racism' but the one they use jumping in, did you?

[1StrongBlackMan]

79. Sad isn't it? ...

Not to re-hash history; but, I have challenged this invented "literalist white privilege" bullsh!t, no less than 10 times ... asking for one, just one, citation to where it comes from, and the only time I got a response ... the person (a conservative white woman) that he cited to, came to DU to say this DUer did not reflect her opinion.

Yet, he persists! I guess if you say something enough, you begin to believe that other people believe it ... even when EVERYONE says you're full of sh!t.

[U4ikLefty]

87. Have you seen the movie Groundhog Day?

It's kinda like that, isn't it?

[betsuni]

88. My favorite part ...

is when we are scolded: "I hate to break it to you" and "you should know by now" and "it's about time you understood" and so on. One is only trying to educate you people! The "we" and "us" when referring to liberals and feminists is a nice touch, to be honest.

[1StrongBlackMan]

91. It must be all that wise ...

beyond his 23 years on this earth.

[sheshe2]

65. Well, TBH

So what to do.....I suppose I'll have to think it over. But at least this fellow deserves credit for being decent(i.e. none of this self-loathing "all white people are to blame" crap)

Who here has ever asked that of you or anyone else.? "

self-loathing "all white people are to blame"

I feel no Self-Loathing. What I feel is shame that in 2014 this is a deathly issue.

Stop making it about you if it is not about you. White privilege exists, I know that because I was born white. Am I thriving and excelling in all that I do? No. However, I am not being Targeted or Profiled and Shot to death for walking, driving , breathing or Presidenting while black.

[AverageJoe90]

66. "Stop making it about you if it is not about you.". Never was all about me, truthfully.

There is a greater issue behind all this(I wouldn't be talking about it, still, if there wasn't). And yes, I do realize that not everyone in the Privilege club is actually self-loathing, but I've noticed that many are. And it's making us look bad.

However, I am not being Targeted or Profiled and Shot to death for walking, driving , breathing or Presidenting while black.

True, and neither have I been. But is it really all about extra "privilege&quot yes, that's what it ends up being, all original intent aside), or it is really about systemic DISadvantage compared to the norm? I hate to break it to you, but we can't have it both ways. We just can't.

[sheshe2]

68. It makes us look bad???

Yes it sure does. It is shameful. My Country embarrasses the hell out of me on this issue.

And yes, I do realize that not everyone in the Privilege club is actually self-loathing, but I've noticed that many are. And it's making us look bad.

And yes IT IS ABOUT WHITE PRIVILEGE...I have no clue why you do not get that.

[AverageJoe90]

69. "I have no clue why you do not get that."

At this point, I could have said the same exact thing. I truly hate to say that, but when are you going to realize that this is hurting liberals more than it's helping us?

[noiretextatique]

72. no real liberal believes that

and exactly who are you so concerned about?

[AverageJoe90]

80. "no real liberal believes that". Well, I'm one of them. So point disproved. Also.....

and exactly who are you so concerned about?

It's not so much who, but what. For one thing, if one's going to educate people, one could start by not telling them that they have extra-normal "privileges", especially towards a person who's gone thru plenty of tough shit in their lives, no matter how well intentioned one may be.

[gollygee]

93. Talking about racism and privilege isn't always going to be comfortable for white people

and it doesn't have to be. It certainly isn't the job of people of color to only fight racism in a way that makes us feel good and comfortable - to put our feelings above all else. That smacks of a supersize sense of entitlement. Everything in life might not be comfortable for you, and that's OK.

[1StrongBlackMan]

95. LOL ...

That smacks of a supersize sense of entitlement.

Yep ... IOWs ... PRIVILEGE!!!

[1StrongBlackMan]

94. Please ...

But is it really all about extra "privilege&quot yes, that's what it ends up being, all original intent aside), or it is really about systemic DISadvantage compared to the norm?

Explain the difference between "extra 'privilege'" versus "systemic disadvantage" (leaving aside your invented "original intent" dreck). It would seem that the only difference is perspective ... straight, white males see "systemic disadvantage" and privilege as distinct conditions; whereas, non-straight and/or non-white and/or non-males, see privilege and systemic disadvantage as the same side of the same coin.

Oddly,

I hate to break it to you, but we can't have it both ways. We just can't.

You recognize/admit privilege is an advantage; but seem unable to recognize/admit that a lack of privilege is what creates the disadvantage. That is curious.

[U4ikLefty]

86. There he is...I knew it. It wouldn't be a true white privilege thread without you...TBH

[Skittles]

18. I hope he "gets" male privilege too

Last edited Thu Aug 21, 2014, 02:34 AM - Edit history (1)

[littlemissmartypants]

40. Agreed. nt

[mountain grammy]

19. this is so good, so true, and so real

you were right to post it all.

[Grey]

20. K&R

[Cha]

21. ..

Michael Brown

mahalo kpete

[cui bono]

22. Great and wonderful post by pajoly.

Thanks for sharing it.

[libodem]

23. K&R

[riqster]

24. Good post. Reminds me of Dr. King's words,

On the Injustice of Silence.

"Our generation will have to repent not only for the words and actions of the children of darkness, but also for the fears and apathy of the children of light".

Awareness is the first step towards breaking free of those fears and that apathy. Kudos to the author for taking that step, and sharing their testimony.

[myrna minx]

25. K&R n/t

[valerief]

27. And he has white MALE privilege, too. Also, just think of the privilege awarded to

ruling class members. They can subjugate and poison whomever they want. Just buy some pols and make money!

Yes, there are levels of privilege, virtually all unearned, that cloud our sense of justice. The most amazing thing to me is how people can't recognize this.

[Boomer]

28. Spot on

"What I do owe is an apology for not recognizing it fully, not understanding completely enough to leverage that understanding to forcefully argue for affirmative action."

This is the crux of what I've also learned and understood late in my own life. Just being able to say "Yes, I see this, you're not making this up." means that I'm now one less person casting doubt on what black people already know, one less person they have to argue with, one less person they have to ignore because they are too weary of arguing the point.

[Stellar]

36. Please help MAKE IT STOP...

PLEASE!

[Mr Dixon]

39. WOW

Refreshing Thank you.

[littlemissmartypants]

41. Thank you for your post, kpete.

Interesting thread.

Love, Peace and the Righteous Fight.
~ Lmsp

[ReRe]

42. K&R

[homegirl]

44. Took you

an incredibly long time to recognize the obvious. I got it at the age of 15. When I announced that I had landed a Saturday job my African American classmate responded. "white girls can get jobs." It was not necessary to say anything more. That was in 1950!

[stage left]

46. K&R

I'm sorry, too. If I was not already convinced of white privilege, the difference between the response on Cliven Bundy's ranch and in Ferguson would have convinced me.

[Hatchling]

47. K&R

[merrily]

48. It would be interesting to find out why it took so long.

[Anansi1171]

51. We are Brothers! -nt

[aggiesal]

52. I'm 52 and Mexican/American

Last edited Thu Aug 21, 2014, 07:12 PM - Edit history (1)

I'm glad that you finally get it, and apology accepted.

Now I freely admit that I'm Mexican/American, but only because I was born to
Mexican parents in America. But in reality, I'm American/Mexican and if you really want to know how I feel, I'm really American.

Being 52, means I grew up in the 60's, 70's and 80's, where I saw a lot of racism because my father had the foresight to work
his ass off, and we moved into an all white neighborhood when I was 5 (We were the first non-white family to move into this neighborhood).
We had eggs thrown at our house, property stolen, holes puncturing our car tires, neighbors yelling at us to go back where we came from,
kids picking fights, calling us names like "wetback" or "taco-bender", ... the list goes on, all because we were different.
We accepted it, because we wanted that better life.

But the worst had to come in the 90's, because I had graduated from college, was successful and living in the southwest.
Driving a nice car and being Mexican meant that we got pulled over, because naturally, we ran drugs and that's the only way we
could afford the nice car that we're driving; it couldn't possibly mean that we have college degrees and have a professional career
that paid really well.

But the worst was when I moved to San Diego in 1995 and I purchased my first home in a predominately white neighborhood.
I went to the local bank (a national bank, where I'd been banking for at least 10 years, but the first time I was in this particular
branch, located in my immediate community), to cash my first paycheck from the company where I had recently been hired.
I took it to the bank to have it deposited into my account (being a live check, and direct deposit was not set up at my new
company), when the bank teller took one good look at me and asked me for my fingerprint.

[Font Color=Red Size=12]I exploded.[/font]

Nobody else in the branch was being asked to provide a fingerprint, and I
literally told them I wasn't giving them my fingerprint and to F-off and deposit my check now.

I was not happy and it was extremely humiliating.

So, yes I am glad that you finally get it.

Maybe fewer people will treat others the way I felt treated that day in my new bank branch.

[Ecumenist]

55. ASKED FOR YOU FINGERPRINT? ARE YOU F'ING KIDDING ME? It was a bank, NOT a

check cashing joint...RIDICULOUS!! I hope that you NEVER darkened their door again...cuz, DAMN!

[aggiesal]

56. I'm now with a local credit union ...

Yes a fingerprint. Actually they wanted my thumbprint.

[Ecumenist]

57. This was in San Diego? I'm a black mestiza and have had some serious issues with subversive racism

some, not so much. I cannot believe that they treated a long term customer like that...Did you make a complaint to corporate and the appropriate state consumer agency? I'm a native Angelena but I've lived in the Sacramento Valley for 32 years. I KNOW this happens but it's ALWAYS shocking and enraging when I read about another HUMAN BEING, another AMERICAN being treated like that....DAMN

[aggiesal]

62. I've had some really overt racism ...

like the time I got hired for a position, and I had a co-worker
tell me the only reason I got the position was to satisfy the quota system.
Forget the fact that I was to only one qualified to do that job, I couldn't
possible get it, unless I got it from using the quota system.

Or the time, in the Bay Area, where I moved from Redwood City to Foster City,
went to go buy groceries at the local Safeway, and they wouldn't accept my check
because the check still had the old address in Redwood City. I asked the checkout
person "... Why not? Isn't Redwood City money just as good in Foster City? ...".
They eventually accepted the check.

Or another time in San Diego, I was looking for a new car, and my wife and I went
to the local Lexus dealership, dressed like San Diegans (in shorts and sandals),
and a salesman came out and literally harassed us to leave his lot. Even after
telling him, that we were interested in the model we were looking at, it didn't matter,
he wanted us off his lot. I've never set foot at that dealership ever since.

On last episode, I spent 2.5 years in Berlin, Germany. Every time I came back to
the US, customs always secondary searched me. It got to be a running joke with
my wife and I. We would load up all the luggage with her cart to the point where she
struggled to push the cart, and I'd go through customs with as minimum pieces of luggage
as possible, and sure enough my wife would pass through without a second thought,
while I get secondary searched.
Happened every time.

[AverageJoe90]

71. Agreed. And that kind of behavior was never right.

At least these days, there's more people willing to take a stand instead of hiding beneath the proverbial bush, as it were. Let us continue to fight for progress. and maybe someday, we can FINALLY live in a country in which structural racism truly a thing of the past, and preferably, within our lifetimes, too.

[Egnever]

90. B OF A

Used to make me provide a finger print all the time when cashing checks drawn on their bank.

Don't know what bank the poster went to but it was standard practice there for a while if you didn't have an account with them at least here in Vegas. I am about as white as it gets. For a while they charged $5 bucks as well to cash a check drawn on their bank without an account as well.

[AverageJoe90]

70. Sorry you had to deal with all that crap. nt

[noiretextatique]

74. +1000

i will never forget one incident at work. i was riding the elevator up to my job....in a building where I'd worked for 3 years there was a white guy in the elevator with me and he asked me if he could "help" me. i had never seen him before, but it would never occur to me to question HIM about being in the building. i just told him: if you want to do my work, that would be very helpful. he was embarrassed...good. 55yo black female here. your story really resonates with me...thanks for sharing.

[aggiesal]

85. Thank you for sharing ...

Great response.
And these are the overt incidences.
How many covert/subtle incidences occurred behind
our backs that we'll never know happened.

[sheshe2]

53. Thank you kpete.

[Entheory]

58. I understand

I felt the same way when I understood my male privilege...

[mdbl]

61. It hit me in the face about 30 years ago

When close a close friend of mine told me her 5 yr old daughter came home from school yesterday and said she wished she were white. There's something wrong with a society where little kids with so much love and promise would already be burdened with feelings like that. I usually try to empathize with someone, but I had no point of reference. Again, that proved the point this OP was making. Affirmative action was a way to elevate and open opportunities. It has done this in so many ways for a lot of people. A color blind society doesn't seem to evolve in the U.S. on it's own very well, it had to be nudged. I was surprised later to find out that people in many parts of Europe don't seem to have these feelings of exclusion until they migrate to the U.S. We still have a long way to go and I hate to see the backsliding that's been happening over the last 6 years.

[kimbutgar]

63. I'm not white but a very light skinned black woman who could pass for white.

I had to go to the bathroom at a CVS while on vacation in Las Vegas. Waiting at the door was a black woman who told me she was waiting for the clerk to open the door to the bathroom. I waited were her and the clerk came and opened the door. The other woman went into the woman's room. I went into the men's (it was one of those times you can't wait) I peeked my head out and told my husband to not wait and saw the clerk waiting by the door to the woman's room for the woman to come out. I heard the door close and came out a little later. I expected the clerk to wait for me (she did not). I felt really uncomfortable for the other women that she had to be watched in the bathroom while I didn't.

I never get followed in stores but I see black people all the time getting followed. Only once I got followed and that was by an Asian woman in a touristy type store in San Francisco. I left when I realized she was following me.

[99Forever]

64. The events in Ferguson have opened many eyes.

My hope is that it might mark a real turning point for all of us. It has ripped the scab off the wound which has never healed. Racism in all of it forms, must be cleansed from the fabric of our society or we will not endure.

[jtuck004]

75. I get it. I am sorry < Get back to me when it isn't all about you. n/t

[eridani]

81. It would be nice if we could just take it off like a layer of clothing in warm weather

Since that isn't possible, there remains the ethical obligation to work against it and similar unmerited privileges.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

84. Thanks so much kpete. This is what we're asking for. Talk to others. Acknowledge these experiences.

It brings more understanding. Understanding leads to healing. Healing leads to reconciliation. Reconciliation leads to peace.

Remember this.

Racism can be eradicated.