'Left Behind': Film Review

[RockaFowler]

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movie/left/review/737580?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_term=hollywoodreporter_breakingnews&utm_campaign=THR%20Breaking%20News_now_2014-10-02%2009%3A29%3A37_Jfrosch

The Rapture won’t come soon enough for the unfortunate souls forced to suffer through Left Behind, the big screen reboot of the direct-to-video, faith-based film series starring Kirk Cameron. Essentially playing like a spoof of ‘70s era disaster movies, this adaptation of the mega-selling books written by Jerry B. Jenkins and Tim LaHaye demonstrates that a bigger budget and a bigger star (Nicolas Cage) doesn’t necessarily make ridiculous material any more palatable.

SNIP

Awkwardly combining religious proselytizing with disaster movie tropes, Left Behind, with its sub-par production values, howler-filled dialogue and terrible performances, fails miserably on every level. Cage, who in interviews has said he took the role at the urging of his pastor brother, seems virtually sedated throughout, even when his character is convinced that his plane is headed for certain doom.

The first entry of an intended franchise, the film only inspires hope that its creators will see the light before its sequels can be developed.

[gratuitous]

1. Dear Mr. Cage

No good deed goes unpunished. Your pastor brother will owe you big time, but I'm not sanguine about his ability to discharge his debt to you.

[trusty elf]

2. .......

[A HERETIC I AM]

5. ....

Love it.

[Laxman]

3. Without Drive-Ins...

or Chiller Theater, where do they get a market for this stuff? Who directed this movie, Samual Z. Arkoff? Will this be on a double bill with The Giant Claw or The Thing With Two Heads?

[iscooterliberally]

4. Everyone gets raptured with no clothes on?

They could make it a horror movie and film the part when they all arrive in heaven, naked at the same time.

[LongTomH]

6. Now someone needs to make a movie out of: "Kiss My Left Behind"

The Kiss My Left Behind series by Earl Lee is, of course, a parody of the Left Behind series. Now, if someone just had the stones to make a movie series from these.

Kiss My Left Behind 2: The Tribulation Farce. Quote from Goodreads:

“Ramrod felt a great sadness building up, deep within. There were no words to express his feeling of loss. The sorrow rose up from the pit of his stomach and caught in his throat. He had a strangled ejaculation buried deep down in his soul. Yes, Ramrod missed his wife very, very much. He missed the warmth of her breasts pressed up against him in the night. He even missed her cold feet. And he especially missed her bedtime facial. Yes, it’s true—he missed her eyes, he missed her mouth. He had trouble remembering how she wore her hair the last time he saw her, and he missed that, too. It’s like, where Love was concerned, Ramrod’s aim wasn’t very good. Yes, life was becoming very, very hard on Ramrod. ”

[Orrex]

19. "Kiss My Left Behind: Turning The Other Cheek."

This film must be made.

[brooklynite]

7. I think this pretty much captures it...

"Left Behind, with its sub-par production values, howler-filled dialogue and terrible performances, fails miserably on every level. "

[pnwest]

32. What is meant by "howler-filled"? I am not

Familiar with "howler"... TIA.

[brooklynite]

9. VARIETY weighs in....."dreadful update of an already dreadfully adapted faith-based property."

In what was surely a first in the annals of motion-picture marketing, an early ad for “Left Behind” featured a quote taken not from a film critic, but rather from Satan himself, who allegedly quipped, “Please do not bring unbelievers to this movie.” This presents a rare scenario in which Christian moviegoers ought to feel perfectly secure heeding the advice of the Devil, as this faith-based thriller is likely to inspire far more dorm-room drinking games than religious conversions. With a “Sharknado”-inspired visual style and a deeply weary lead performance from Nicolas Cage, “Left Behind” is cheap-looking, overwrought kitsch of the most unintentionally hilarious order, its eschatological bent representing its only real shot at box office redemption. The film hits theaters this weekend, but as for when believers can expect to see the tenets of their faith reflected with any sort of sophistication or intelligence in a mainstream genre film, we still know neither the day nor the hour.

http://variety.com/2014/film/reviews/film-review-left-behind-1201319012/

[RockaFowler]

13. Ooh Variety is even better

[underpants]

29. (because “Jackbuick Ironmuscles” would have been too on-the-nose

Sadly, the film never speculates on which U2 members, if any, were raptured from their London soundcheck.

[Initech]

10. Willie Robertson says this movie will convert the non believers.

Right. Chances are we probably won't stop laughing at Nicholas Cage's patented scene chewing first. Really the trailer is cheesy even for Nicholas Cage standards.

[Beach Rat]

11. I agree with Willie Robertson (whoever that is)!

Its a freaking miracle that a movie like this got made!

[Initech]

15. Willie Robertson is one of the Duck Dynasty Robertsons.

If he thinks that movie will convert people, he's .

[Beach Rat]

17. He probably heard people talking on their way out!

Everyone was saying "Good Lord!"

[tech3149]

21. Had a friend who spent his latter teenage years and young adulthood in Indiana

Turned into a full blown Evangelical and tried to give me a set of the books, told me I needed to read them. I spent two weeks in 2004 turning him on to most of my progressive resources and he started to see the light. A couple of years later my mother wanted to price them for a yard sale. I let her set the price, gave her the money then took them post haste to the burn pile. I'm sure we'll probably see the movie coming in free mailers from some religiously insane outfit soon enough.

[Marrah_G]

12. I was really disappointed that Cage did this movie

[irisblue]

14. ommercials

twice a day for the last 4 days....amazing

[freshwest]

16. Rapture fans are self-justifying, selfish and irresponsible to the point of infantilism.

It's their excuse to abuse anyone not in their cult and the planet because they think they'll escape cleaning up the damage of their own behavior. They get all happy at the thought that Jesus will come down and kill everyone they hate.

Then, just for being who they are, He will give them as the better people, a fresh start to do it all over again. Not because they deserve it, but just because they 'believe' He will single them out for an eternal reward.

This is not that far from what other philosphies and religions promise their followers. They're magical thinkers who believe they are free from any of the laws of nature or cause and effect.

If I sound harsh, it's just because at one time I saw this not as literal, but as a symbol of changing one's self to be a better person. Since the advent of Lehay's franchise, people take Rapture theology to say they are superior to other people, and free to destroy the planet.

They are particularly harsh on the natural world and call environmentalists pagans and ungodly. But they say what was once called God's Creation is just temporary, so nothing done to it matters. It's psychopathic.

But they believe they'll get the improved version handed to them later as their reward and trashing the world. Gore brought up the political and social implications of this way of thinking that the Earth is disposable in the last pages of his book, Earth in the Balance. They hated him for it.

Sad to see Cage in this, but acting is just what it defines itself to be, an act.

[IVoteDFL]

18. Seems worse than I would have imagined

I do thank Hollywood for this though. My grandparents had these books lying around and it used to scare the shit out of me when I was little. Now I can have a good laugh about the film.

[sharp_stick]

20. Oh man that trailer is baaaad.

I think John Travolta is going to be happy. This piece of crap has a really good chance of knocking Battlefield Earth off the worst ever big budget movie pedestal.

[hifiguy]

22. So is it "better" or worse than

Atlas Shrugged? That it will be just as big a bomb goes without saying.

As the old bromide goes, no movie can ever be better than its script, and when you start out with fishwrap/birdcage liner like this not even Scorsese or Coppola could do anything with it.

[muriel_volestrangler]

23. There's more - so much more

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2014/10/02/left-behind-the-critics-speak-and-weep-and-snicker/

Michael Ordoña, San Francisco Chronicle, “Left Behind review: Don’t go find it”

… a movie so astonishingly, hilariously incompetent that nothing I say can prepare you for it. This movie is the worst. And the best. I haven’t laughed like that in a theater in a long, long time, and not one of those laughs was earned on purpose.

Matt Pais, RedEye, “Left Behind is the year’s funniest movie”

Cage is going for manly, if conflicted, family-guy confidence in this role, but somehow it comes off as nuttier than the events surrounding him. Not since Dean Martin in Airport has a commercial flight been under the command of a less sober-seeming presence. I did like the bit, however, where Chloe, down on the runway at night, the world in cheaply digitized flames, guides dad’s now-flaming wreck of a plane home with the help of her high-beams. It’s more miraculous than the Rapture itself.

Michael Phillips, Chicago Tribune, “Review: Left Behind, 0 stars”

One need not be a Godless heathen to find fault in Left Behind’s message-delivery system: It’s a fire-and-brimstone sermon wrapped in the tissue of a bad disaster thriller — a criticism that’s dogged the book series since its earliest installments. But this adaptation is so broad, cartoonish, and ineptly made that harping on its theological methods seems like overkill. … This Left Behind may be worse than the last Left Behind, but it’s much less boring, thanks in part to the commitment of its star, who plays the often ludicrous material with the straightest of faces. The Cage works in mysterious ways.

A.A. Dowd, The A.V. Club, “God only knows how they made a worse version of Left Behind“

[underpants]

30. Dayum Nicky Whalen has had a lot of pictures taken

With good reason

Google images

I think part of me was just raptured

[johnp3907]

24. Can't wait for the Rifftrax version!

[Prophet 451]

26. Oh gods, I hadn't even thought of that

I was looking forward to this already but adding RiffTrax to it just sends it completely over-the-top. The only thing comparable would be their riff of Reefer Madness and that was so funny, I had trouble breathing.

[Prophet 451]

25. Can't wait to see this!

Combining the author's wooden dialogue with Cage's overacting is likely to be a scream!

[ladyVet]

27. My sister was telling me the other day how she's looking forward to seeing this.

She had given me the first book to read years ago. I made it through three pages before I had to stop. It's that bad. And I've read some really bad prepper porn (what can I say, I love apocalyptic/PA fiction). This was worse.

Funny, I never could get her to take that book back. Ended up donating it to Goodwill. Please forgive me.

[underpants]

28. Oh so that's why Lea Thompson is on "Dancing With the Stars"

No I don't watch it. Was flipping around channels and saw that she was on it. No coincidence I am sure.

[JEFF9K]

31. Maybe it will take its place ...

Alongside the Atlas Shrugged movies as the worst of all time.

[marmar]

33. I think Nicolas Cage is desperate for a paycheck these days ...........

..... Doesn't he owe the IRS millions?