Satan now promoting Nicolas Cage’s movie about the rapture

[marmar]

from Death & Taxes:


Satan now promoting Nicolas Cage’s movie about the rapture


The once powerful Prince of Darkness–once known for such lofty stunts as convincing a lady to eat an apple that would make her smarter, thereby condemning the whole world to have to wear clothes and die and stuff (gee, wonder what the moral of that story was?)– is maybe not doing so well these days, as it seems he has been reduced to writing blurbs for the upcoming Nicolas Cage movie “Left Behind,” along with several evangelical preachers and that one dude from “Duck Dynasty.”

The poster featuring Lucifer’s comment was first posted to the “Left Behind” Facebook page on Monday, and later reported by BuzzFeed.



Satan humbly requests that you, the faithful, do not bring “unbelievers” to see “Left Behind.” Probably because this movie is going to be so good that all of the “unbelievers,” myself included, will be like “Oh man, Nicolas Cage’s acting is just so good and not at all overwrought, I totally accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior now, and whatnot.” Too bad for Satan though, because I have every intention of recapping this movie in i’s entirety on here as soon as it’s on the OnDemand or Amazon Instant.

If you are not familiar with “Left Behind,” it’s a series of books and Kirk Cameron movies about people getting vacuumed up into heaven, and then everyone else being like “Oh man! We’ve been left behind! Because we weren’t that into Jesus! Better start fighting Satan/the United Nations now, before no one can buy or sell anything without the mark of the beast!” ..............(more)

http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/228794/satan-now-promoting-nicolas-cages-movie-about-the-rapture/

[Iggo]

1. This unbeliever can't wait to see the comedy hit of the summer.

Try and stop me.

[pinboy3niner]

2. I wonder what costume you'll wear

[Initech]

5. This movie will provide the inspiration for some great drinking games.

[snooper2]

3. This movie is an important reminder that fundies need to write down what stuff goes to which person

You can't just wait for rapture and be like, yeah, verbal agreement you can have my stuff-

You have to write it down!

[OnyxCollie]

4. This is what happens when you don't pay your taxes.