There's a fly in my wedding cake! Marriage equality in Oklahoma.

[Behind the Aegis]

Today's Supreme Court non-ruling made marriage equality a reality in Oklahoma (as well as other states). Now, thirty states allow "gay" marriage. Progress marches on, though quite slowly. Upon hearing the news, I texted my partner. I also sent a picture of a very cute bridesmaid's dress for one of our Chihuahuas. Being that he is an IT person, he was more interested in my other text, "the fucking internet is down again!?". Anyway, when he came home, we talked about the decision briefly, then settled into our raging gay lifestyle: eating dinner, taking the puppies out to potty, a quick nap, and hours of TV...soon the world, if we don't have to get off the couch!

We watched the local news stories and they were quite positive. One of his concerns was would our names be published in the local paper. I was a little surprised. He is one of the most easy going people in the world. He rarely worries about anything; that's my job! I see a mole...CANCER! A cough? PNEUMONIA! The joys of having a Jewish mother. But he did have a valid concern which I missed, what could happen if we were identified, in a public way, as a gay couple? Would we be subject to having our home vandalized? Could we be attacked? We are in a state that STILL allows GLBT people to be fired for being GLBT, as well as, discriminate against GLBT in housing. We are privileged he works for a company that protects sexual orientation and we own our home.

The news today is fantastic...at least for those of us in the 11 states affected. But, there is more to it, even for us in the newly inaugurated marriage equality states. Preparing for a marriage, one should be concerned about seating arrangements, honeymoon plans, and how to make sure your mother doesn't take over the planning; it shouldn't be "will our house be burned to the ground?" Will I even have a home?! Will I lose my job?

I am not trying to be a "Debbie Downer," I am being a realist. I look forward to having a husband instead of a partner, but I want people to understand the issues which surround GLBT people. The fight isn't over.

I am pretty sure...I am going to get married soon!!!!

[TDale313]

1. So, first, congratulations!

Second, great post. It's easy to forget there's still a long way to go, and that while marriage equality has come a long, long way, that doesn't mean the struggle for lgtb equal rights and acceptance is over by any means.

[Behind the Aegis]

20. Thanks. And you are quite correct we still have a ways to go.

Like I said in my little spew, I feel for those who don't have job and home security because they could lose their jobs or homes should they decide to marry. That's just all kinds of twisted.

[sheshe2]

2. I understand, BtA

Calm breath~ you have come so far! Quietly enjoy for now what you have won, it is so very precious.

The times are indeed changing~

Stop the worries and enjoy celebrate and, Ha! you are getting married. Mazal tov! I wish you the very best!



she

[Behind the Aegis]

21. Don't get me wrong, I am wicked excited.

It's just it always seems there is one more hurdle to jump. I am worried about the backlash. This is what our esteemed governor, Mary Fallin, had to say:

"In 2004, voters had an opportunity to decide whether or not to allow same-sex marriage in Oklahoma. Seventy-six percent voted not to, and to instead define marriage as the union between one man and one woman. I was one of the many voters who cast my ballot in favor of traditional marriage. Today's ruling is another instance of federal courts ignoring the will of the people and trampling on the right of states to govern themselves. In this case, two judges have acted to overturn a law supported by Oklahomans. Their decision will be appealed and, I hope, overturned. As governor, I will continue to fight back against our federal government when it seeks to ignore or change laws written and supported by Oklahomans."

source

Of course, I would expect nothing less from someone whose ads proudly, and loudly proclaim: "Fought Obamacare in OK! Fought Obama's illegal immigrant program! Fights against Obama's Liberal agenda!" (And, NO, I am not making this up!)

[Takket]

24. The people cannot make a law that is unconstitutional

Doesn't matter if the vote is 100%. This is law 101. I would question the qualifications of any lawmaker that doesn't understand that.

[Heidi]

3. Just one question:

Where will you two be registered?

Congratulations, friend! (And if I don't receive a photo of your bridesmaid in full wedding ensemble, I will throw a giant pout!)

[Half-Century Man]

4. Be careful what you wish for, sometimes it comes true.

And then ya gotta deal with it
By the way, מזל טוב (Mozel Tov)

I hold that the majority of the fight is over, now comes the hard work of reconstruction. Opposite sex marriage fanatics have a lot of mental repair work to do, and they seem particularly ill equipped for it. They need help, so help them by proving their earlier definition of normal was stunted.

[davidpdx]

5. Congratulations on the upcoming marriage

And I say this with a great amount of humor, I hope you'll suffer through marriage just as badly as those of us that are straight. I think your wedding song needs to be "Don't worry be happy".

Honestly I am glad about today's ruling, but honestly I have this ominous feeling that something down the road is going to tell us this was a head-fake by SCOTUS. They have ducked the issue way too much for it to be over.

[merrily]

6. The fight is never over, but eliminating discriminatory laws is necessary and huge.

Federal equal rights legislating passed in the 1960s, but the war is not over for minorities and women. However, things much, much better than when laws themselves permitted, even required, discrimination.

I am pretty sure...I am going to get married soon!!!!

Very best wishes. Tell us when.

I can't dance at your wedding, but, on your wedding day, I'll dance (like no one is watching).

[Violet_Crumble]

7. That is fantastic news.

The getting married part of it, that is. The world's a weird place. When I read about how the state you live in allows discrimination in housing and employment, I thought about where I am, where that discrimination is illegal, yet gay couples can't marry, even though it was legal briefly last year in the Territory I live in until the RW federal govt overturned it in the High Court. One day to really look forward to celebrating (apart from you getting married) is the day when discrimination is made illegal where you are, and gay marriage is legal where I am...

btw, I can offer my services as a long-distance selector of great wedding music if you need anyone with taste in music that isn't crap!

[pnwmom]

8. Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!

[Cha]

9. Happy for you and your SO, BtA! The fight isn't over but such an amazing victory today!

Jim Roberts ✔ @nycjim
Follow
Va. Atty. Gen. says same-sex marriages begin today at 1 PM. “Momentous and joyous day.” http://bit.ly/Z9tVsN
6:04 AM - 6 Oct 2014

http://theobamadiary.com/2014/10/06/rise-and-shine-919/

[Jamastiene]

10. Yes, you do have to worry about that stuff.

Here in NC, there are routine news reports about "KKK" and swastikas and other hideous filth being spray painted on interracial families' homes. The redneck culture will be even harder on us gay people. I don't have to tell you that. I'm sure you understand and already know, but I'm not so sure a lot of the rest of DU realizes it. We'll take shit for decades still over this...but to be able to get married? Wow, it's amazing.

Congratulations, btw. Live your life. Don't worry about the hatemongers. Cross that bridge if you have to come to it, but live your life happily in the meantime. It will be well worth it.

[Rhinodawg]

11. HEY !!! Congratulations.

MAZEL Tov !!

Post pictures.

And where u going on your honeymoon ?

[Call Me Wesley]

12. Good questions and still a long way to go.

But otherwise, congrats!

[theHandpuppet]

13. I'm SO happy for you!

[Behind the Aegis]

18. I am hoping, soon, I will have a picture to share like yours!

That'd be sweet!

[Heidi]

14. Kick!!!

[dembotoz]

15. good luck and be careful

[kevinbgoode1]

16. As a longtime friend, I'm just very proud of both you and your partner

and, of course, your marriage will be awesome!

When I think about how far we've come since our college days, you almost have to pinch yourself that this has finally arrived. And yet you and your husband have legit concerns - until conservatives get over the idea that their "opinion" of someone else's marriage has more value than our opinion of THEIR marriages, we'll all still likely have some fears.

However, as a bridesmaid, I do think the chihuahua should wear a hooped skirt. . .even if there likely won't be another occasion for her to don that gown.

[Behind the Aegis]

17. Hey you!

Long time no see!

Yes, this has been a long time in the coming. I remember all our late night discussions at the Trailer in the Sky and if marriage equality would ever arrive. So many things have changed on the GLBT landscape, but there is so much more to do.

As for the hoop skirt, the baby only comes three inches up off the floor, so a hoop skirt isn't really an option. Though for one of the other girls, it might be as she can walk on her front paws!

[hifiguy]

19. Congratulations and mazel tov!

The SCOTUS leting the Circuit Court decisions stand isn't the end of the road, but it's a long step in the right direction.

[Sissyk]

22. Congrats, BtA!

One step at a time.

We on DU expect an invitation! Lol

[Donald Ian Rankin]

23. Error: second sentence should read "thirty two".

(And this may in itself be an error in the not-too-distant future).

[LadyHawkAZ]

25. Conga Rats!

Best wishes to you and your soon to be husband.

And here's to a future where couples won't face the kind of concerns you are having now.

[shenmue]

26. Mazel tov!

[valerief]

27. That's scary being in a civil rights versus Jesus state. Hope it works out well for you! nt