Have you ever gotten scared when you heard a man raise his voice

[Aerows]

He's yelling about his situation his wife and his family.

Mad because I don't agree with him in his politics.

I know how that feels, I will get scared, let him raise his goddamn voice, run if I have to, and still say the same thing.

He's white. And old. and feeling entitled. And a bitch to deal with.

[Sherman A1]

1. Not understanding the context of your post entirely, however

I believe that I would simply avoid this particular debate.

[Aerows]

2. Family members that you are forced to deal with

and dread at the same time, Trumad.

Err, sorry ShermanA1 you have a familiar avatar that makes familiarly abrasive comments. Not that yours were any different.

[Sherman A1]

3. We all have them

and it's always good to consider the source of the comment. I really just avoid the argument if possible, because often that in and of itself will just drive them more crazy and you certainly will never change their opinions.

[Aerows]

8. No

You won't change their opinions, no matter how passionate you might be.

[seabeyond]

4. having grown up in a house of two manly men brothers i tend to puffing out chest, too. lol

which might not be smart.... just is.

i forget i am suppose to be intimidated. thankfully, i have never been in a position where it was really valid.

[dkf]

5. Avoidance is good.

[Aerows]

7. If Possible. n/t

[Aerows]

6. The little wrens have hatched

I freak out less when I see nature in her beauty. I guess I just had a bad day. It thrilled me to see the little birds hatch, and hear their tweats.

[dkf]

11. Little kids are the best too.

The things they say are so cute and funny. Gosh I just want to hug em.

[Aerows]

12. How do you do it?

You tend make every conversation kind of weird and sickening. I think you should go forth and advocate for Romney and be smarmy together.

Wrens are BIRDS. With feathers. Eggs hatched, parent wren songbirds tending to young ones. Goodness.

[Ikonoklast]

15. Be more polite when speaking to one of our long-termers.

You are supposed to be fooled, now act like it.

[Aerows]

18. LOL

I'll act like it if you EVER do.

Well maybe not.

I'd like to see you try though.

[Iggo]

20. Good gawd, that smelled like fresh air!

Most invigorating!

[Aerows]

22. Absolutely Arctic

with the breeze up in here.

Glad you appreciate it.

[dkf]

17. I was actually cheered by your post of how you felt uplifted seeing your birds.

You see the beauty in nature. I see the beauty and innocence of kids. How do you turn that into something sick? Weird.

I thought I might echo a positive feeling on life instead of ruminating on arguing with people.

[Aerows]

21. Okay

Well, the wrens hatched. I was happy.

[dkf]

26. And I am happy for you.

Relish the good things and the positive feelings. I need to do more of that too.

[Rex]

9. YES!

I try to avoid those situations, but they are relatives and sometimes I have to attend family functions. Gets worse when they get drunk. Not so scared now that I am older, but as a kid they would scare me. Probably why I don't drink.

[randome]

10. A man's voice can be an abusive weapon...

...if he wants to use it that way.

[socialist_n_TN]

13. Possibly not scared as much as wary........

If it's a relative, I'll argue till impasse and use the "agree to disagree" line.

A raised voice is a form of communication, as is a physical threat either active or implied. You react with appropriate counterforce. Which means that I WILL argue points. If a bully can intimidate you from NOT arguing your points, he (or she) has won because nobody gets to hear counterarguments to his points. That's where we were during the 80s and most of the 90s and almost half the Aughts. Which has DIRECTLY led to where we are today politically, i.e., marginalized.

[Aerows]

24. Good points

And thank you. I lost it and shouted that I didn't give a shit if they taxed Mitt Romney so hard that he was handing out dollar bills to every man, woman and child in the country.

If that asshole gets the White House, we are all dogs on the damn roof.

[socialist_n_TN]

29. If they were shouting at you ..........

(which is a RW tactic to stifle dissent and disagreement), then you were within your rights to raise your voice to be heard.

BTW, great line about Romney. I wish I could say that I would have thought that quick and made that comeback. But I'm not sure I would have been able to. It implied a tax on wealth, not just income, which is something that I'm big on.

[Cerridwen]

14. My dad rarely spoke in anything below a "yell".

Quite loud. Heard by most of the neighbors.

I learned to "yell" back, but as soon as I was able to get out, I did, and I learned volume does not equal passion nor "correct."

Many years later, a male friend gesticulating to make a point noticed that every time he raised his hands, I flinched. I'd never noticed it nor had others; at least they had not said so. My dad also used to do the smack upside the head.

I still wince at increased volume and I still cherish quiet, silence, and solitude.

I'm also still able to "yell" back as needed; though I hate to go there, I will do so, on occasion. Usually, I walk away until I can speak in more even tones.

edit: I also cherish correctly spelled words though I don't always do so. *sigh*

[DevonRex]

16. Yes.

Confrontations between people I know upset me greatly. I hate loud arguments, yelling. I hate arguments on DU even. Really, really hate them.

My RW relatives tried to gang up on me and my family when we visited. I left there in tears. I've made it clear that I will not participate in political discussions with them again. I will pick up and leave at the first sign of one stating up. Period.

They do not get to bully me anymore. They will never bully any member of MY little family. Never. Not even now that they're all adults now. Never again. Once was the end of it.

Leaving the situation and coming back later on when the subject has changed is not being disrespectful to that older person. It's being respectful to yourself. People treat you the way you demand to be treated. Remember that. Don't just sit there and take it. Leave and come back with a different topic in mind, even a prop like a DVD to put in and watch together or some ice cream, anything to divert the conversation.

[zorahopkins]

19. Get To A Safe Place!

OMG.

I must be hell.

Don't let the old white male bastard get you down!

Get to a safe place as soon as you can!

I know what this feels like, too.

[Aerows]

23. Despite the asides

This was a serious thread.

I get kind of tired of being yelled at, particularly because our politics don't mesh. And being intimidated is never fun.

[Iggo]

25. Used to, when I was little.

Now it's more like an unhealthy rush, and an almost overwhelming compulsion to raise my voice in kind. Probably a "guy thing". At my age, I'm almost entirely past acting on it. But it's that "almost" part that scares me. So I guess I should answer Yes, I do get scared. Though maybe not for the same reasons you're talking about.

[Prometheus Bound]

27. I have a suggestion.

Won't work in all cases.

Go ballistic. First, watch Deadwood to develop an effective range of cuss words if, like me you're not very good at swearing.

Then when he raises his voice, go ballistic, yelling louder and longer than him with a range of cussing and cursing he can't match. You must look crazy, unhinged, and out of control, so he doesn't know what you're capable of.

I tried it on Saturday, me against three men, one of whom I caught doing something really disgusting. My cursing and loud voice scared them enough for them to beat a hasty retreat. If I'd encountered them any other way I think they would have laughed at me and carried on with what they were doing.

[Blue_In_AK]

28. My ex-husband.

Ex being the operative word.

[MadrasT]

30. Yes.

Father. First boyfriend. Ex husband.

I will not tolerate men yelling at me now. Under any circumstance. If someone can't speak to me civilly without raising his voice, I will not engage in conversation. I inform them that their behavior is unacceptable to me, and I walk away, hang up the phone, get in the car and leave. Whatever I have to do.

I will not tolerate being yelled at ever again.

I also learned you can only have an argument if you accept the other person's invitation to argue. It is possible to just refuse to engage.

Sorry you have to experience this. I hate being yelled at. Especially by loud male voices.