UPDATE-- My Wife's Job Testing.... No news and my wife is going insane.

[diabeticman]

Okay. I encouraged my wife to quit the job she was at because of two factors

1- She was being overworked and they didn't seem to care about putting her in a situation that she could have been harm.

2- She heard--which she wasn't meant to know... That the company --not willing to fire her would NEVER give her a positive reference or recommendation to anyone.

We are incredibly lucky that we where able to buy our house out right. We have no mortgage and no loans for cars or anything. IT would be tight... no extra spending. But I can pay all our utilities, buy groceries and even pay for cable for my mom ( my wife gave it as a gift to my mom) and keep our head above water.


My wife does want to work the one draw back here seems to be that almost every place is going through a staffing company of some sort.

So my wife called the one staffing company... THEY HAVE NOT heard anything from the company she tested for.

The person giving the test said the third party coming sends her the results back within 2 hours. So my wife waited all day yesterday. last night she could not sleep. today she has an upset stomach she is nervous. I think she is giving herself heart burn.

I think part of the reason is that my wife subconsciously can't get over the fact we are in such a good spot. Her family has always struggled with her mom being a single parent with little help from her dad. Plus during our 12 years of marriage we have had some bad financial spots... both of us working and still not able to make ends meet.

So now she is stressing out wondering how she could be the only one to show up for the test and she could be denied a job not because she didn't interview well or because she did bad on a relevant skills test but because a "personality test..."

Any suggestion on helping my wife? No she does not drink tea so chamomile is out of the question.

[Kalidurga]

1. Well my advice is a bit harsh...

But, she should go shopping. Even if she is like me and she hates it. The point isn't to spend lots of money in fact she can spend as little as a dollar. She needs to experience that it is not bad to spend money that the world will not end. If she doesn't want things which I can relate too as well, then she could go to one of the cheap theatres, if there is one.

[diabeticman]

7. Maybe I will have her go grocery shopping tomorrow without a list and tell her don't worry about

what she spends or buy...

[badtoworse]

2. You need to reassure her that you believe in her and back her 100%

People reach crossroads in life and have to make the best decisions they can. Sometime they work for the best and sometimes they don't. You need to tell that whatever happens, your marriage is as solid as ever. That's what for better or worse is all about.

[diabeticman]

8. I have and will do it again

[lunasun]

3. Something will come . Maybe this new job was going to be as crappy as the caretaker one- you

know - nazi boss or something else just as bad . It will come but this may not be it.
Tell her you folks are lucky to be able to have patience and wait for whatever is coming her way that will work out. In other words there will be food on the table tomorrow and you will not suffer.
It may not be this job offer and this is how it is right now and that is OK and plus she is not hiring so she just needs to not feel like she is responsible for the results of the interview , it is out of her control but her reaction is in her control and after all...tomorrow is another day !

[diabeticman]

6. That is what my Step Mom has been telling her as well.

[CK_John]

4. In the future don't quit your day job without a new one lined up and begin networking now.

[diabeticman]

5. I didn't quit my job. My wife did with MY SUPPORT. I was saying she is worrying over nothing. We

are in a good situation we can't go for extras but thing will not be shut off. I want her NOT to worry. I want her to take the time to find the right job.

When we move ( back to my home town) 5 months ago we rushed to get jobs because we needed an apartment until we found our house.

[KingCharlemagne]

9. Someone has a serious reading deficiency, methinks. I don't know how you could have

made it any clearer.

Tell your wife to control the things she can control and not sweat the stuff she can't control, like a flaky employer.

Thought: maybe this employer's flaky hiring processes are a sign of its overall quality as an employer.

[diabeticman]

10. Thanks. I will show her your post.

[SheilaT]

11. The company not giving a positive reference or recommendation to anyone

is a totally empty threat. Most companies won't do any more than verify someone's dates of employment, and possibly their last salary or hourly wage. Some will say whether or not a person is eligible for rehire. A company that never gives a positive recommendation is going to be well known for that in the community, and I doubt would be a factor in her getting another job.

Since, as you've said, you can manage at least at present without her working, she should give two weeks notice and leave. No job is worth keeping if you are not happy.

Once, many years ago, when I was first married, going to school and working part time in a retail store, I was the unhappiest I'd ever been before or since in a job. One day, as I needed to be leaving for work, I sat on the edge and cried, because the thought of going to the store made me so unhappy. My wonderful husband told me that when I got to work that day to turn in my notice. He pointed out that I didn't absolutely need to work. I did what he suggested, and was so glad I did.

It is so easy to be afraid of change. It's scary to quit a steady job. Most of us need the money. But I wish more people would do it, because the misery isn't worth it.