The Role of the Family Scapegoat in Dysfunctional Families (trigger warning)

[UglyGreed]

The role of the child who is designated as the family scapegoat in dysfunctional families is to serve as the identified "problem" in the family. Also known as the family's "black sheep," the child who is given this role tends to be the focus of the family. The family can point to the child who is placed in the role as the scapegoat and blame the family's problems on this child, which is the primary reason why families designate a particular child, usually the most vulnerable one, to be in this role.

When the Family Points to the Family Scapegoat, They Divert Attention Away From More Serious Family Problems
More often than not, the family actually has more serious family problems than whatever problems the scapegoated child might have. But by focusing on the child who is in the role of the scapegoat, the family is able to avoid looking at these more serious problems by pointing to this child as the source of their problems.

When young children are placed in this rigid role, they often believe that they're the source of the family's problems. This is a heavy burden to place on a child and, aside from feeling overwhelmed by having this role imposed on him or her, the child often feels hurt, angry and shame.

- See more at: http://psychotherapist-nyc.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-role-of-family-scapegoat-in.html#sthash.i8SmnouB.dpuf

[PeoViejo]

1. Triggered. n/t

[Le Taz Hot]

2. +1

[Mnemosyne]

4. Count me in too.

[murielm99]

9. Me too.

My youngest brother is the golden child.

Ironically, I have a better life, as far as love and relationships go. Both my brothers live alone and and somewhat isolated from others, with no close personal relationships. I have a loving husband, and adult children with whom we have good and healthy relationships.

My sick, narcissistic mother has managed to drive away everyone in her family. We seldom contact her. She has never met any of her great grandchildren, because all her grandchildren are repelled by her behavior.

[Blue Owl]

3. Ironically, Dubya is the Bush family's pet scapegoat

n/t

[nolabear]

5. Hate to admit this but this is why I stopped seeing children in my therapy practice.

Too often the family was unable or unwilling to recognize that the child was reflecting the family's problem. They would come in and if they weren't too bad about reinforcing the situation that had the little one there the child would start to get better, and now unable to focus the attention on the child the family would find a way to take them out of therapy. I managed it for years by loving the ones who really did work hard to make the family better but eventually I got tired of being attacked and dismissed and having those marvelous little people yanked back into bad situations.

Luckily, I get to see the adults those kids grow up into and help them. People are remarkably resilient, and I admire their courage and stubborn refusal to be defeated every day.

[Gumboot]

6. Been there, been that black sheep....

... so I emigrated to America

Met a whole bunch of great friends here, who have made me so very happy

Never going back again

[grasswire]

7. also known as the "identified patient" in family systems theory.

The concept sure explained a lot to me about the machinations of my (now ex) narcissistic spouse.

Remember, emotional abuse is abuse.

[yourout]

8. I wasn't necessarily the "black sheep" but my one brother is "the chosen one"..

Part of it was me being the oldest but there was always time to attend my middle brothers (games, matches, concerts) but never seemed to attend mine.

After I graduated from high school I usually ended up milking the cows so they could go.

Even now 30 years later they rarely miss his his kids events but only occasionally would show up at my kids events.

[UglyGreed]

10. My father died

when I was 21 years old and I still carry the pain at the age of 49. I remember my mother blaming me for his drinking at the age of 6. I was born way later than my siblings and of course I was the prefect candidate for being the scapegoat.

This is probably why it bothers me so much to be labeled by doctors and I put this out there so the people here on DU could see why I'm a jerk at times.

[ladyVet]

11. I need to stop reading some articles/threads.

I didn't click through on the link, because I knew it would ruin my day. Nobody's fault but mine. I should know better by now.

Unwanted, unloved, and punished if anyone showed any positive attention to me. My mother only had two children she loved, the rest of us might as well not have been born.

Now I'm bummed. Need to do something fun to take my mind off things.

[lindysalsagal]

12. Explains the contempt Obama's feeling right now

as america refuses to see our role in the problems of the world. Isis, Ebola, economics, immigration....