Kids from poorer neighborhoods keep coming to trick-or-treat in mine. Do I have to give them candy?

[KamaAina]

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/10/dear_prudence_on_halloween_poor_kids_come_to_trick_or_treat_in_my_neighborhood.html

Dear Prudence,
I live in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in the country, but on one of the more “modest” streets—mostly doctors and lawyers and family business owners. (A few blocks away are billionaires, families with famous last names, media moguls, etc.) I have noticed that on Halloween, what seems like 75 percent of the trick-or-treaters are clearly not from this neighborhood. Kids arrive in overflowing cars from less fortunate areas. I feel this is inappropriate. Halloween isn’t a social service or a charity in which I have to buy candy for less fortunate children. Obviously this makes me feel like a terrible person, because what’s the big deal about making less fortunate kids happy on a holiday? But it just bugs me, because we already pay more than enough taxes toward actual social services. Should Halloween be a neighborhood activity, or is it legitimately a free-for-all in which people hunt down the best candy grounds for their kids?

—Halloween for the 99 Percent

Dear 99,
In the urban neighborhood where I used to live, families who were not from the immediate area would come in fairly large groups to trick-or-treat on our streets, which were safe, well-lit, and full of people overstocked with candy. It was delightful to see the little mermaids, spider-men, ghosts, and the occasional axe murderer excitedly run up and down our front steps, having the time of their lives. So we’d spend an extra $20 to make sure we had enough candy for kids who weren’t as fortunate as ours. There you are, 99, on the impoverished side of Greenwich or Beverly Hills, with the other struggling lawyers, doctors, and business owners. Your whine makes me kind of wish that people from the actual poor side of town come this year not with scary costumes but with real pitchforks. Stop being callous and miserly and go to Costco, you cheapskate, and get enough candy to fill the bags of the kids who come one day a year to marvel at how the 1 percent live.

—Prudie

[Feral Child]

1. Teabagger

no doubt.

[Orsino]

12. Who can't afford a gated community. n/t

[Feral Child]

129. But, thinks she's

entitled to.

Really ugly person and thinks she's a saint.

[maddiemom]

186. That's what I wondered. Upper-middle class professionals might live in

accessible neighborhoods, but billionaires and famous names? Not likely trick or treaters or anyone else could just stroll up to their front doors. And those lowly doctors, lawyers and business owners aren't likely to go broke buying candy.

[maddiemom]

187. Meant response to Orsino (gated communities?)

[Fantastic Anarchist]

95. Living "modestly."

Probably lives in a regular neighborhood but doesn't want to hand out candies to the "darkies."

[fasttense]

133. I wish we got trick or treat visitors

We live way out in the country. You can just barely see the house from the road. For 5 years we decorated bought candy and left the lights on. We only got one person. So now we do nothing. I can't believe people complain about top many visitors.

[awoke_in_2003]

158. we always buy a lot of candy...

but get very few trick or treaters. I wouldn't mind getting more.

[hlthe2b]

201. Me too. I hate having candy around because I don't want to be tempted, but always buy

because I surely wouldn't want to disappoint. So, now I just try to buy candy that I know kids like, but I don't--like starburst, skittles or gummy bears.

This year, i'm going to mix in some small packs of almonds/walnuts... If they don't take them, at least I can eat them.

Why are some people such selfish Scrouges?

[phylny]

173. We get no one in our neighborhood, which is rural, so

I participate in "Trunk or Treat" at my church. It's fantastic - last year, we had 500 kids come through. My trunk is filled and ready!

[brush]

181. Yeah, and what selfish a hole. nt

[Feral Child]

217. Oh, probably generous enough

with her peers, got to keep up appearances in her community, just doesn't want to give to poor kids. They're like racoons, you know. Feed 'em and they end up breaking into your basement.

[theHandpuppet]

2. Unbelievable.

Sometimes there just are no words that would suffice.

[pscot]

28. That seems to be happening

more and more often.

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

3. Geeze.

We too get 'drive in' trick or treaters, because we're in a fairly densely packed neighbourhood, with decent lighting and just down the street from an elementary school, which means we should be 'safer' since sex offenders can't live in this area. All it means is that we buy more candy than we would otherwise. While the self-centered part of me enjoys seeing costumes people have made themselves and put a lot of work in, I'm not going to treat the kids with no money to buy or make costumes using disposable grocery bags to collect candy in any differently. I remember what being a kid is like, and know most of them are only too painfully aware already of how poverty is making them 'different' from the kids whose parents can afford to buy costumes or spend time making them.

Give the less fortunate kids more, cheapskate.

[Hortensis]

134. I think we're being too harsh on her, and we LOVED the traffic coming to the densely packed

neighborhood where we raised our own children. An old but family neighborhood with small home sites, so even very little ones could hit a lot of houses before they wore out. Adding all those children to all our own made the street scene quite a party. We loved it. This is one of the very nice things we left behind in Los Angeles when we followed our son to beautiful rural Georgia.

That said, Prudence was off the mark. This person feels something isn't entirely right about this, and she's right. Some parents DO head for a big haul, abandoning this very special opportunity to acquaint their children with their own neighbors, bring happiness those neighbors, and better their neighborhoods in the process. If children start coming one year, most people will be glad to have candy ready the next.

I remember the year after poisoned candy was given out in a far-off state and the number of little treaters dropped off dramatically, even though no one had been hurt. I took our children out as usual on this, the only holiday of the year where children are encouraged to meet their neighbors, and dragged a rather reluctant (conservative-protective) friend and her kids with us. To this day I remember the sweet 80s-ish woman who had come out to stand by her gate looking for the lost treaters. She asked us, alone on the street, "Where are all the children?" All neighborhoods have sweet people like her who really look forward to meeting the children and showing them what nice, giving people are behind those doors. How sad when they don't show up.

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

136. We had a very active 'churchy' couple a few doors down

who always had those big hot-pots of coffee and cocoa out, and also gave out hot dogs to anyone that wanted them, to make sure kids were at least getting something slightly more nutritious to eat than candy that night. Sadly, the husband died a couple of years ago, and the wife moved out. If I can get a bit more ambitious, I might try picking up something similar, although Halloween always freaks my dogs out enough as it is, and I don't think they'd appreciate me keeping people close to the house even longer, and making runs into the house for refills.

[kysrsoze]

215. Wow. We need more of this. Very nice.

[Wella]

159. Some parents do encourage their children in greed--even for candy

No kid should be driven to a neighborhood to trick or treat. A local walk around is fine.

[Tommymac]

190. Hogwash.

[tecelote]

193. We have more barns than houses. We always drive in to town.

It's a tradition to meet everyone's friends.

"Some parents do encourage their children in greed--even for candy"

Why punish everyone because "some", somewhere, may abuse it?

[Dorian Gray]

197. That's such hogwash

There are some neighborhoods that are famous for the lights and decorations that they put up. The houses go all out for it. Kids should definitely travel to those neighborhoods. (By car, train or foot!)

[Ecumenist]

200. WTF??!! This is a free country and those babies and bigger kids should be welcome

by fellow Americans. Damn. I live in a VERY expensive neighborhood and if kids come in from other less pricey areas. so be it. the more the merrier. I LOVE seeing all the little ones in their cute costumes. What the hell is the matter with you? If it's a problem, turn off the fucking porch light and settle in for a couple of hours of Ebenezer Scrooge.

[IrishEyes]

206. What if the kids lives out in the country?

I think that the child could be driven to town. I used to live in a rural area when I was a younger. The nearest neighbor was a mile away. The nearest actual neighborhood was about ten miles away. I didn't go trick or treating when I was a kid but I think rural kids should be able to. I live in an apartment building in a city now so I don't have trick or treaters. I look forward to someday owning a house in a nice neighborhood where I can give out candy on halloween.

[1monster]

208. "A local walk around"??? Where I grew up, the nearest neighbor was a mile away. I"m sure

there are many children today who do not live in an area where they can do "a local walk around even yet.

What does it matter who the children are and where they live? If one doesn't want to get into the spirit of the tiny little monsters, super heros, princesses, and Disney characters, all one has to do is to turn out all outdoor lights and not answer the door.

Kids really enjoy those once a year forays into the fantastical where they get to dress up in creataive costumes AND get candy too.

It isn't greed. Kids are giving a whole lot more to the people handing out the candy than the candy givers are... Most of those kids work hard for their haul.

Childhood is all too short and the memories they get from the Halloween fun lasts far longer than the candy does.

[Papagoose]

213. There are seven houses in my subdivision

That would make for a pretty boring night for my kids.

[Caretha]

169. + 45 billion

[el_bryanto]

4. You wonder about the sort of person who would write that e-mail

are they really that oblivious? There's no way to say "I don't like giving candy to poor kids" without sounding like a selfish jerk.

Bryant

[Gormy Cuss]

10. The kind of person who thinks living in a high income area frees them from seeing *those people*

Last edited Thu Oct 23, 2014, 06:45 PM - Edit history (1)

at home except when they hire their parents as household help.

Prudie nailed it. The person needs to get over herself, buck up and buy some more candy and be happy to put a smile on so many young faces.
Alternatively, she can just shut off the lights and avoid the whole thing.

[Fantastic Anarchist]

97. There's the rub ....

She doesn't have to hand out candy to any kids. But she made a point (and used time) to write a letter showing her smug, selfish attitude.

She just had to say something because, you know, who will? This invasion of poor people needs to be stopped. And she is at the vanguard!

[former9thward]

11. No one wrote the email.

It was made up so the author could give a self righteous response.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

18. Lol. Never met an Ayn Rand fan?

[Sparhawk60]

49. What You Say??

Dear Prudence letters are fake?? Unpossable!

[Blanks]

52. That's what it looked like to me too. Although I assumed it was written to seem ironic. eom

[REP]

69. Bingo.

I'm surprised she didn't work in some of her "don't drink and dress like a whore if you don't want to be raped" advice too.

[creeksneakers2]

75. I've heard lots of people say it

One town around here ended trick or treat entirely because kids from the city came.

[Tree-Hugger]

94. Can't speak for this particular email, but

...I have heard the same sentiment coming from a lot of people over the years.

[el_bryanto]

111. What is your evidence for that assertion? nt

[former9thward]

123. Knowledge and common sense.

I live in the real world, not the world of manufactured outrage. Others may differ.

[el_bryanto]

127. Ah - so no actual evidence?

[former9thward]

135. I did not know this was a court of law.

If that is the standard then 99.99% of posts here fail. Of course I doubt you apply that standard to posts you agree with. According to you I should not have commented (with an opinion you don't like) unless I questioned the author in a court ordered deposition.

[el_bryanto]

157. I simply asked for your evidence - and you said you didn't need any. nt

[gollygee]

163. I've heard people say the exact same thing

so I wouldn't be surprised if it were real.

[former9thward]

171. I know people say those things.

But the way it is written it is just a softball pitch waiting to be hit. I live in a poor neighborhood that takes their kids to working class neighborhood on Halloween (it is only two blocks away). I used to buy candy for Halloween but there was never any kids that came to the door because they were all in the next neighborhood over.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

176. And on cue....

Here comes the "devil's advocate"....

If only you could dismiss the stupid shit teabaggers say that's on video and audio tape as "media created", your life here would be perfect.

[former9thward]

191. The majority of posters on this thread agree with me.

Of course that doe not bother you in your world.

[Warren DeMontague]

180. I think you're right, actually.

This is a "cool story, bro" type situation.

[roguevalley]

212. yeah like this never happens. I hope kids miss your house

[Warren DeMontague]

218. I'm not saying it never happens.

people writing letters like this asking for advice about it might never happen, though.

[A Simple Game]

118. I suspect the person that wrote the email is the same person that answered it. n/t

[el_bryanto]

120. On what do you base that suspicion? nt

[A Simple Game]

130. Just a hunch. I have a hard time thinking that anyone would look to an outsider

to justify their hard-heartedness for such a trivial matter. Someone with those feelings would not be likely to need outside justification.

It is also well known that advise columnists fake letters occasionally to spice up their columns. Readers are also known to write fake letters, I suppose just to see if they can get them published?

[REP]

5. Sounds like a fake letter

I think anyone with those "concerns" would just leave their porch light off.

[heaven05]

34. sounds like?

or you wish it to be?

[1StrongBlackMan]

104. The latter. eom.

[tclambert]

59. It may be faked. But I heard a sister-in-law say almost exactly the same thing.

She lives in a "nice" neighborhood now ($800,000 house) and resents any intrusion on her turf. She even complains about people using her driveway to turn around (theirs is the last house on a dead-end street). "It's my driveway," she whines. "We paid for it. It's not theirs. I wish they'd quit using it."

Now that she's got hers, she just wishes the poor people would disappear. And yet I remember when she used to be one of the people who arranged for her kids to trick or treat in other neighborhoods so they'd get a good haul.

[CrispyQ]

82. The concept of property has brought out the worst in the human race.

For those who think this is a fake letter, it may be, but I have heard this sentiment several times over the past 10 years from people who live in well to do neighborhoods. They have a very exclusive idea of community.

[Wella]

160. So does greed: even for candy.

If kids are getting places on foot, then fine. They're making the effort, they get the candy. But if parents are driving their little angels in to get huge candy hauls, they're just feeding their children's greed. That would be very Ayn Randian, by the way.

[MADem]

63. +1 nt

[Liberal_in_LA]

96. it sure does

[gollygee]

164. No, they don't.

I've heard people who have the exact same complaints. They have kids and want to hand out candy to the "right" kids, but don't want to hand out candy to the "wrong" kids. People can be very mean spirited. There are often kids who live at apartments where they can't trick-or-treat who come here. I don't see why it's a problem. Let the kids have fun.

[Shankapotomus]

198. It could be fake

But then again this really happened once upon a midnight dreary:

[djean111]

6. We get kids brought in from poorer neighborhoods, and I give them MORE candy.

I live in a middle-class neighborhood. I love to see the kids all tumble out of vans or trucks.
Dunno if there is a "spirit of Halloween" (could care less about the origins, at this point), but the kids who are brought in really make my night.

[SleeplessinSoCal]

21. You exemplify the generosity of our dying middle class

Mr 99 exemplifies selfish and proud, Ayn Rand's America.

[djean111]

54. We get a lot of migrant worker families - lots of tomato and strawberry farms around here.

Funny story about upper and lower "classes" - years ago, my then-boyfriend's daughter, who was adopted as an infant from Nicaragua, came to stay with us for the summer, and was given permission to attend the summer school she needed here, below Tampa. She had always lived a pampered life in very upper-class neighborhoods in Montclair NJ and in Orlando. To the despair of her adoptive mother (who insisted she check the "white/Caucasian" box instead of the "Hispanic" box on school papers), she looked exactly like a sweet little Nicaraguan girl.
So - first day of summer school, she came home kind of aggravated, she was about 15 or so, I think. She said she had been lumped in with all the migrant workers' kids, was not believed when she said she did not speak or understand Spanish, and was just not treated with the respect she got at her expensive Catholic school in Orlando. Real eye opener.

[Rozlee]

110. Thank you.

When I was a poor single mom in the 80s (I know, I being many a sad story like that), we lived close to Ft. Sam Houston back when it was a smaller open base. We didn't even have to go through the main gate, just traipse across the field from our neighborhood and we'd be in officers' housing. Then, after we'd gone through the officers' digs, we'd head to the enlisted portion. My kids always got a better haul at the homes of the enlisted families. They had less, but they'd give more. The damned base commander was never at home. I always resisted the urge to toilet paper the trees around his big fucking house.

[AtomicKitten]

7. I always thought kids were shuffled around to

areas where it is easier to trick-or-treat. No long driveways. Easy access. It never occurred to me that the selfishness of some Americans would stink up something as benign as trick-or-treating. Feh.

[dionysus]

27. happens to me every year. i did a spit take the first time kids came up to the door and the parents

were hanging back drinking 40s on the sidewalk. but that doesn't bother me, not the little kids fault. what IS a pain in the ass is when teenagers, without costume, come up to the door, cig in hand, asking for candy. that's annoying.

[shraby]

48. I have the older ones sing me a song. They are usually in a group so I pick something like

Mary had a little lamb..something they would all know.
Response from them?
A little slow starting, but they would sing. and then say "That was fun!"

I feel sorry for the tweenies. to young to go with the older ones with cars and too old to really be a trick or treater, so I have them sing for me.

[AllyCat]

210. This is a great idea!

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

138. We've had some good older ones come by over the years.

One group, that basically stuck to walking down the road talking to each other, without asking anyone for candy, had an incredibly good 'Scooby Doo' set of outfits going, and even had their Great Dane with them as Scooby. I think they stuck to the road to make sure nobody tried to get too friendly with the dog, since a lot of dogs don't know how to behave around too-friendly kids. We also had a guy who went down the street with an actual organ grinder's box, turning the handle and playing as he walked, with, iirc, a stuffed monkey in a little outfit on his shoulder.

[dionysus]

146. sweet.

[Laffy Kat]

153. Has always bugged me, too.

I always tempted to tell them that without a costume there will be no treats but I'm afraid of retaliation. One year I opened the door to a half a dozen teens sans costumes and holding pillowcases for candy. I looked at them and said, "seriously, guys?" and gave each one a single piece of candy. What REALLY bothers me is when older kids don't even say "Trick or Treat". They just stand there with their flat affect until I say "Yes?".

On the other hand, the tiny ones out for their first TOT and get cold feet as soon as you open the door are adorable and make up for the bad apples.

[dionysus]

155. one little kid came as a fork.. tin foil from head to toe.

i don't really care that his parents were drinking 40s on the sidewalk, they weren't causing any mischief, it was just... way different from my experiences as a kid. "This Trick or Treat brought to you by St. Ides "

[Hortensis]

203. Really? All kids coming to our door hopefully go away with nice memories and some good treats.

If the ones getting too old really don't want to let Halloween go, yet feel they're really too cool for it, that's fine with us and they are welcome. It's a difficult age, and we understand. What's important to us is making them feel good, especially knowing that these memories of their last Halloween may well last their entire lives.

[Laffy Kat]

205. You're obviously a nicer person than I am. nt

[n2doc]

8. I really enjoy the crowds of kids

Frankly the years when fewer kids come by are kind of depressing. Let them have some fun.

[calimary]

55. I do, too. Halloween used to be big business in this neighborhood. TONS of kids

and they were my kids' ages too, so everybody knew everybody. It was GREAT fun. LOVED seeing the costumes. Some parent or nanny or somebody standing back, at the sidewalk, was usually someone we knew or recognized from around the neighborhood. Much of the time, that parent standing back on the sidewalk would be me - escorting my kids and the next-door-neighbors' kids and a couple of friends or so. We'd go all over the neighborhood! But then, as always, those little kids turn into big kids and they outgrow Halloween OR they go off to college or there's some big date-night or party somewhere and - well, they're just not around anymore. And yes, it is a little depressing! We used to have to start rationing candy - one piece per - because there were so many kids and we were always in danger of running out of candy regardless how much we'd bought in preparation for all the trick-or-treaters. Now, we always have candy left over in the bowl after the night is over. And the night is over much earlier these days than it was. Used to be they'd start coming shortly before dusk and continue all the way up to the last stragglers at 10pm or so - and those were often teenagers in the neighborhood. And that was cool, too! THEIR costumes were usually the best of all!

I miss it. Definitely! It was GREAT. But everybody around here is decorating, and there are a few new families who've moved in - with little kids who are certainly of trick-or-treating age, so I'm anticipating doing a little bit more business this Halloween for a change. A nice change. It's been a little lonely out there in the past few years!

[mopinko]

9. prolly a lie, to boot.

i know around here it is a short drive to the rich hoods. but those houses are so far apart, and usually fenced to boot, that no self respecting candy monger would bother. better to hit my hood, where the doors are only 30' apart, and doubled and tripled up to boot.
plus, we have a fucking sense of humor.

i know the legislators that represent those places, and they despise walking them for that very reason.

the kids ACTUALLY come to my hood, i see them unload on the corner. know what? we love them all.

eta, and if we dont, we just turn off the porch light. problem solved.

[heaven05]

36. right

[MineralMan]

13. I suspect the first letter is made-up.

That's my guess. It sounds like someone wrote that in an attempt to make a point, probably the person who writes the advice column. If I were the editor, I'd want to see the original question, completely sourced. If it wasn't forthcoming, I'd fire the columnist. This appears to be bogus on its face.

Both the question and answer appear to be written by the same person, in terms of level of diction and writing style. If I were the editor, this person would be in my office today, either showing me the original question with its source or a letter of resignation.

[enough]

16. I agree it's fake. The tagline gives it away. (nt)

[Eric J in MN]

60. The writer signed a real name and the columnist changed it to "Halloween for the 99 percent" NT

NT

[hughee99]

17. I agree, it sounds like a setup.

I wouldn't be shocked to find the answer was written before the question was.

[spooky3]

56. I also agree. People who really feel that way

Aren't going to write to Prudence about it.

[moriah]

81. I dunno, I've seen a lot of letters that were outrageous to Miss Manners....

.... and her responses have always been spot-on and to the point, like she was answering a real person.

Take this one:

Dear Miss Manners:

My stepson is estranged from his father, and I want to include him in the obit but not list him as his son. May I do this? However, I want to list my children from another marriage but not indicate they are stepchildren. Please advise. This is a ticklish subject.

An attempt to have your husband disown his son posthumously strikes Miss Manners as outrageous, and no reputable news outlet will accept it. In contrast, frankly including stepchildren is perfectly acceptable. If you are talking about posting your own notice, you can fudge it by grouping them all, regardless of the emotional ties, as his survivors.

[MineralMan]

83. Miss Manners is my hero. Truly.

Judith Martin single-handedly changed the shape of etiquette writing.

[HERVEPA]

89. Nope.

Letter may have been fake, but Emily Yoffe (Dear Prudence) isn't that type pf person.. She would not write the letter herself. She is very honest and above-board.
I agree with almost all you write MM. you clearly have not read her (She appears in Slate).
Fun game with friends is to read the letters and try to guess her answers.

[MineralMan]

92. Maybe you're right.

Still, the sentence structures and diction in the question and in her answer are too similar. I'd have to look at a lot of her questions and answers, but that one makes me suspicious. There are other things that make me wonder. No, I don't read her. I don't really read advice columns, as a rule. There's just too much out there to read.

[HERVEPA]

93. She is kind of fun to read.

But trust me on this. She is a straight shooter.

[tblue37]

149. Prudence's mother was Ann Landers, so Prudence is NOT in any danger of

losing her gig--and she is much better at it than Luke Russert is at the one he inherited.

I believe the letter was written by Prudence, but I also believe many selfish bigots do feel what the letter expresses. Quite possible Prudence has heard or heard of such griping and wrote the letter specifically to give herself an opportunity to smack down the nasty attitude.

[Nye Bevan]

14. Definitely fake. How the hell do you know which neighborhood trick-or-treaters are from?

They are wearing costumes, after all.

[knightmaar]

15. I was wondering the same thing ...

... but I assume you can see something of their skin colour at the wrists.

"75 percent of the trick-or-treaters are clearly not from this neighborhood"

[dilby]

23. Beyond fake.

When did the 1% start to read Slate.

[bullwinkle428]

25. Yes, every last kid loves to dress in a head-to-toe burqa.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

33. Probably car loads of kids showing up.

That's what it is like where my friends live here in Chicago. They live in an area of predominately single family homes which is, by its nature, a little more upscale as single family homes run a million bucks. People closer to the lake where I live take their kids a little west to avoid the condos and apartments because people in condos/apartments usually don't put out candy.

We'll be over there passing out candy again this year. My neighbor is brining her two year old to walk the neighborhood. People will be parking their cars and walking the houses just like last year.

[Nye Bevan]

44. But how do you know whether they came by car or walked?

And if they came by car, how do you know which neighborhood they came from? I know some quite rich people who drive their kids around in minivans (they also have nicer cars for their own personal use).

[Hassin Bin Sober]

88. How do I know the "car loads of kids showing up" came by car?

It's a "thing" here in the city. My friends who now have the single family used to drive their kids over to one of the more single family areas.

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

140. Well, around here

I know which kids I see on a daily basis going up and down the streets, and we get far more trick or treaters than that. I may not know what neighbourhood they come from, but I do know they're not in mine on a daily basis.

[demwing]

46. It's a dog whistle

The "author" didn't want to say "There are black kids trick-or-treating in my white neighborhood. Would it be inappropriate to give the little white ones Real American candy bars, and the little black ones Skittles as a warning?"

If the letter was real, then fuck us all...

[KamaAina]

100. Oh no you di'int!

and the little black ones Skittles as a warning?

[demwing]

115. That's not me talking

That's the voice of the person who wrote that shitty email.

I hope I don't have to explain that, but on DU you just can't take anything for granted...

[KamaAina]

117. Oh, I know

My jaw dropped when I realized why you worked Skittles in there.

[demwing]

121. The sick thing

is that someone, somewhere, will do something similar...and mean it

[No Vested Interest]

72. Well, when your neighborhood is lily-white for miles around and some face or hands reaching out

are not, that's an indicator. (For those that complain - not me, I'm good with all comers.)

There was a time when I knew all the young people in our area, but that time is long past. I'm out of touch now with that generation, unfortunately.

[theHandpuppet]

124. Well, if you're a rich, white racist snob

You'd probably assume that any group of little black children come from "those" neighborhoods.

[gollygee]

165. If you live in an all white neighborhood

and you have black kids trick-or-treating, you can tell. And that is when people complain. I've seen it and it sucks.

[linuxman]

19. Fake letter

Carry on.

[abelenkpe]

20. Damn

We live in an apartment in the city. We aren't poor but no one goes trick or treating in this neighborhood. My kids have gone to halloween events at parks and work for every halloween. I was going to try and go to a neighborhood with houses where kids actually do the house to house trick or treating thing because they've never had that experience but damn, is this how they'll be viewed? As poor unfortunates seeking charity?

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

141. There are a LOT of people out there who don't care for Halloween,

because it strikes them as 'begging' and 'socialist'. I don't know if this letter in particular is real or fake, but the sentiment is out there, and it's not limited just to 1%ers. A lot of the people who say things about being 'self-made' and 'bootstraps' tend to say similar things.

[bullwinkle428]

22. For those insisting that this is a complete fabrication, I can personally attest

to HEARING these kinds of comments and have even seen the comments online at one of local news sites, expressing this particular sentiment.

"WAAAAAHHHH! WHY DO 'THEY' HAVE TO COME TO OUR NEIGHBORHOOD?"

I can't say for sure whether this specific e-mail is legitimate, but these feelings on the part of some people are genuine, and I've heard it expressed.

[ohnoyoudidnt]

37. Yes, whether this particular letter is real or not

can be debated, the mentality is real. I know people who have said very similar things. Anyone who thinks there are not people who think like that have not been paying attention.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

38. I guess these DUers never met an Ayn Rand fan.

In fact, I'm going to ask my sister in law if she wrote it. She probably wrote it in between calls to C-Span (she's too cheap to buy cable).

[rhett o rick]

150. I appreciate where you are coming from but don't think an Ayn Rand would even give out candy.

Good to see you Hassin. I stayed clean long enough to get on the waiting list for hosting, but only lasted two weeks there. I must say I miss the vitriol being leveled at the hosts. How's it going?

[tomm2thumbs]

86. bingo- said or un-said... it is the attitude and has been whispered behind the scenes of fortunates

I used to hear it all the time, including 'and they don't put very much effort into their costumes either'.... as if the funds were available to do more than put some cat whiskers, a black nose and some kitty ears on.

The fortunates need to realize their fortunes were based 99.99% on the luck of where they were born... being born a poor child in an impoverished country without sanitation or water would have left them as much a smudge on the sidewalk for being the next work-hard-and-you-will-prosper 'fortunate' in the world.

Again, whether the actual letter is genuine, the echoes of its words fly from the lips of tens of thousands across this country. Sad.

[gollygee]

166. I've heard people both complain

and assume the parents are casing the neighborhood. Some people suck.

[oldandhappy]

24. I hope you banter with them, tease them a little, and give them

apples, candy, coloring pens. This is your big chance to make their day -- week -- semester. This is your big chance to be funny and happy with them. This is your big chance to be generous for not very much money. Hang a few spider to make them squeal. When you are old these will be your memories.

[onecent]

137. Great post!!!!! I second this.

[heaven05]

26. "Social service, charity"

this person is representing the well off in our country, ain't he/she grand? People like this are who have made america what it is today. Selfish and cruel to the less fortunate no matter who they are. Truly anger inducing in my book.

[murielm99]

29. This sort of reminds me of my sister-in-law,

years ago, right after they moved to a wealthier neighborhood. Little did they know that a local kids' TV celebrity lived just a few doors down from them. He loved Halloween, and dressed up in his TV costume to hand out goodies to the kids. They came from far and wide just to see him, because he was as nice in real life as his TV character.

My sister-in-law ran out of candy and freaked out. My brother-in-law just laughed, went to the store and bought more goodies. The next day, one of the other neighbors said to him, "Oh, yeah. We should have warned you. Sorry."

We thought it was a great family story.

[ladjf]

30. Is this a joke? nt

[JohnnyRingo]

51. I've never heard of anyone referring to themselves as the 1%

I think that's a tip off that this is a hoax letter meant to stir a reaction.

I wouldn't doubt it came from a liberal writing a parody of Mitt Romney's yearly concerns over handouts to those undeserving of his largess. If so, well done.

[Eric J in MN]

61. The letter-writer signed real name and the columnist changed it to "Halloween for the 99 percent" NT

NT

[ashling]

31. here should be a

a shuttle service for poor trick or treaters to take them to this tea bagger's neighborhood.

It would be a shame if Anonymous published the address.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

41. I'll chip in to send the Jesse White tumblers to perform.

[MineralMan]

32. We hand out full-sized candy bars for Hallowe'en.

Last year, we had 200 kids. Some are from our immediate neighborhood, but others come in minivans holding six or seven kids. I live in a very diverse, working class neighborhood of single family homes, all very modest. The minivan kids are from the same neighborhood, but moms take them from block to block in the vehicles and they walk down each block.

I see it as a safety thing, and the kids are representative of the whole spectrum living in the area around where I live. I love seeing them and the surprise on their faces when we hand out full sized candy bars.

Why do we do that? Because we did a cost comparison. The full-sized bars, given out one at a time cost the same as the "snack-sized" versions, handed out in multiples so as not to skimp. The kids like the big ones more than four or five of the little ones. We aim to please all of the costumed kids.

[JohnnyRingo]

45. If I were nine years old again...

I'd bring more masks so I could hit your house over and over.

Kidding aside, good for you. Knowing you from your posts I'm not surprised that you're so giving.

[MineralMan]

50. We really don't get a lot of double-dippers, really.

We can tell who's already been to our house pretty well. A high percentage of the kids who come are Hmong, since our neighborhood has a lot of Hmong families. One thing I've noticed is that they all say thank you. All of them. I love my Hmong neighbors, adults and kids alike. Great, family-oriented people.

We bought more candy bars this year. We buy them at Costco in boxes of thirty. It's really easy to know how many visitors we got. Last year, we had do dip into our overflow stock, and I didn't get any full-sized candy bars for after Hallowe'en. I'm hoping to do better for myself this year.

[seaglass]

71. Hmm I usually get the bite sized for 2 reasons - cost is one, I just assumed it was less expensive

and variety so we can let the kids choose which kind of candy they like. We give out multiples of course but I remember when I was a kid how much I hated getting Mary Janes and Mr Goodbars and we wouldn't want any of the kids to suffer like I did.

[MineralMan]

73. I ran a spreadsheet after the last time we gave out the little stuff.

Compared with the cost of the mixed boxes of full-sized bars from Costco, it was a wash. So, we opted to go with the full-sized bars. Bigger smiles for the same money. That's always good!

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

142. So do we.

Although I'm having to switch to simply handing one apiece to each kid. When I simply put the bowl out and said 'choose one', some kids would always grab several. As you can guess, it was usually the ones who looked like they were already scoring well in life, while the poorer kids were more polite and only ever took a single bar with a 'Thank You'.

So now instead of letting the kids do the picking, I'm simply going to hand out one type of bar at a time til that box is gone, then move on to the next type.

[MerryBlooms]

154. Same here. 30 full size bars @ $18 is a good deal and the kids are thrilled. n/t

[Tuesday Afternoon]

35. I like the way Prudie plays!

[JohnnyRingo]

39. No one has to hand out treats at all.

...and indeed everyone has the right to discern who they hand out candy to. If they want they can even decide which kids in the same group to reward or reject. Certainly doing so is telling about the individual.

Having said all that, I smell a hoax. No one in their right mind actually asks this question in a public forum unless it's to garner a reaction. The letter writer knew damn well that they could discriminate if they wanted. The obvious name is a dead give away.

[heaven05]

40. with all the 'enablers'

screaming, fake! fake! I'll scream true! true! This IS amerikkka today. Racist, cruel and to brown skinned people especially, murderous.

[VScott]

42. About as authentic as "Dear Penthouse".

I'm not certain whom is trolling whom here; readers trolling her, or her trolling the readers
(all the emails are written in the same exact style)...


A few others that make me go "hmmmm"....

Oh, Boy Prudie counsels a letter writer whose sister dresses her 4-year-old son in pink tutus.

Getting Out of Hand Prudie advises a woman whose 14-year-old son is pleasuring himself too much and in odd places.

Drive-By Bounty Prudie advises a woman whose boyfriend demands she flash truckers on the highway

Naked and Afraid Prudie offers advice on whether a young boy should sleep in the same room with his nude grandfather.

All Shook Up My 11-year-old has been exploring herself with my “back massager.” Should I stop her?

Bedtime Stories Prudie advises a letter writer whose 13-year-old daughter reads pornographic fan fiction.

Can of Worms Prudie offers advice to a letter writer who wants to blackmail a famous ex with tapes of his fetish.

Blackmailing a Celebrity: I used to be in a relationship with somebody who is now a well-known celebrity, years before he became famous. He has a bizarre fetish involving worms, and there are video recordings.

And on... and on... and on...

[MineralMan]

53. I doubt that many readers think her questions are legitimate.

Kind of like that sex columnist, whose name I can't think of right now.

[tclambert]

43. Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses? My taxes pay for these useful institutions.

And that is sufficient. Those who are badly off must go there. Besides, it is not my business. It's enough for a man to understand his own business, and not to interfere with other people's.

(Very loosely paraphrased from a Victorian-era businessman whom Republicans seem determined to emulate.)

[procon]

47. I actually know people like that

They have everything money can buy, kids are really messed up, but the house is gorgeous. Their marriage is a legacy of convenient apathy, but a decorating company makes sure their house is professionally gussied up for to match the season and every holiday. It's all about appearances and the status that comes with having the money to look like a slick magazine photo spread... but it's like slathering icing on a rotten cake.

A couple of years ago I ran into the wife at Costco around Halloween time, and we were both looking at the candy displays. She was bitterly complaining about 'those' people from the barrios and the ghettos coming into her lovely neighborhood looking for a free handout.

[judesedit]

57. Great response.Can you imagine being so selfish to deny a candy bar to a poor kid that gets to

pretend one day a year ? Turn your lights off if you don't like it or are you afraid of what the neighbors might think ? You're not supposed to know who the heck is coming to your door anyway. You're supposed to join in the fun and guess who they are. The greed in this country is out of control. The wealthy are paying lower taxes than they have in approximately 40 years. Too bad the person didn't give their address. Then all the kids could go to everyone's homes but his/hers. Unfortunately, some kid would probably egg it. If you give begrudgingly, it's better not to give at all.

[JustAnotherGen]

62. I can't

In our town - we were in for a surprise (moved there October last year) when on Halloween we ran out of candy at about 7:30. They literally close off our street and a few others and provide a safe place for kids to trick or treat.

Now this year - we are prepared. We have 1200 pieces of candy.

But I can't imagine what kind of an asshole would begrudge a kid a hershey bar on Halloween because of where they live.

And yes - we know that kids from Bound Brook and parts of Raritan and Manville (we are in NJ) come down - and I'm fine with that. If you don't want to participate - then shut off your lights.

[Turbineguy]

58. dEAR 99 pERCENT,

i'D SHOOT THEM. tHEY'LL ONLY COST YOU hARD-EARNED tAX dOLLARS AS THEY GROW UP.

[madamesilverspurs]

64. Whether or not the letter is real, the sentiment does exists.

And it existed in my own neighborhood back in the 1950s. Not a wealthy area, but post-WWII suburbia. All the neighbors knew each other, all the kids knew each other. And, yes, it was remarked on when carloads of kids trick-or-treated our neighborhood; it wasn't the kids who objected, it was some of the parents who would just slam the door on those kids. One of the moms later commented that "we just don't need poor people wandering around", and I remember thinking that wasn't the kind of thing she said at church.

[No Vested Interest]

65. You can always turn off your front light, to indicate you're not

receiving Hallowe'eners.

My friend (hit and killed by a car while listening to Rush Limbaugh on headphones) complained about those brought from poorer neighborhoods, though she was a hospitable person in other ways. I never understood that.

I now live on a street with no sidewalk or street lights, and on a hill, so we get far fewer trick-or-treaters than previously. I'm always prepared for at least an average crowd, so it's disappointing when few appear. Of course the weather always plays a part in how many come.

[Uben]

66. I did that, too. Thought everyone did

We always went to the more affluent neighborhoods to trick or treat. And we took a bar of soap to mark the curbs of the houses who gave the really good stuff so we could change up costumes and hit em again!

Not many still make homemade treats, which were my favorites. Popcorn balls and candied apples! Oh yeah! Even homemade cookies.

[BobbyBoring]

87. Now you're talkin!

Pop corn balls and candy apples! That's what the rich folks handed out in my little town. They didn't care where
you came from either.
Of course things were different 50 years ago when I was T or T age.
I wondering if people still wrap up X Lax like candy and hand it out?

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

144. Never did that, but...

I used to throw some 'tricks' in with the treats. I'd hit the fast food joints up for extra packets of hot sauce, and then, when older teens came by, I'd sneakily drop one into their bag at the same time I put in a more visible candy bar, so that when they got home at the end of the night to check out their 'loot', they'd wonder who the heck was giving out hot sauce for Halloween Stopped doing that when I quit eating at fast food places.

[lancer78]

183. If you want to send your Dentist's kid to Yale

eat popcorn balls My family made them every Christmas.

[KamaAina]

103. My friend Lois-Ann Yamanaka writes of this in her "Heads By Harry"

Her character and friends went across town in Hilo, Hawai'i to the wealthier -- and more haole -- "house lots".

[progressoid]

112. Full Bars!

[Recursion]

67. Kids from poorer neighborhoods routinely come up to my building

The NGO's say about 3/4ths of them are trafficked, so we can't give them money. If you have a bottle of safe water it's OK to give those to one of the "poor neighborhood" kids, or a pack of cookies. Those are fine, because they can drink them or eat them right there. If you give them money, though, it goes to their trafficker. I try to keep a dozen or so bottles of water with me plus two or three sleeves of oreos, but I never have enough at the right time. I cry at night about that. Those kids really just want some help, and I didn't have it.

If you want to get really depressed: read on. If not, just hit "back". You'll be happier that way. I'm not judging.

In addition to the kids there are also mother-child teams who wait at the intersections near my apartment block. Most of you have probably seen how infants in real life behave. But these babies are always incredibly well-behaved, sleeping peacefully on the woman's arm.

The traffickers pass out a baby in the morning (that's not her mother) along with a small dose of heroin, to keep the baby quiet. If the mother brings back enough money she gets the rest of the heroin.

I fucking hate this world and everything about it.

Sorry, I just had to get that out there. I'm sure your Halloween was quite emotionally disturbing too, lady...

[druidity33]

175. Wow...

just wow. I had to check your profile to see where you were. I don't know whether i should be ashamed to say i was relieved you weren't located in the US.

I don't know what else to say other than to wish you good will.

[HereSince1628]

68. this is an expressed fear of the S.O.s neighbors

Her house is 5 lots south of Milwaukee. It's a nice neighborhood.

"Lots" of parents from poorer nearby neighborhoods bring their kids here. It's safe! Even in the dark. Where would you want your kid trick or treating?

Last year, this 'terribly unfair burden' amounted to about 15 kids.

[randys1]

70. Sounds fake, but ABSOLUTELY represents the thoughts of tens of millions of Americans

and almost all of them on the right

I actually look forward to children from poor neighborhoods coming to my house, I buy (when I remember to) the full sized candy bars for them, though I am doing more harm probably than good, it makes ME feel good

But I am not a greedy asshole so dont go by me

And no, I dont know which kids are poor and which arent so I treat everybody equally.

god, I remember Halloween being the best day of my life when I was that age...

i wanna be a kid again, please

[librechik]

74. see, 99--otherwise you get tricks.

be a likable person, be a generous person, and others will rush to protect you, not rush to set fire to your front porch first because they remember how you used to hate the poor.

Just to be on the safe side...

[SmittynMo]

76. 75 percent of the trick-or-treaters are clearly not from this neighborhood?

How does one "clearly" identify people from a "different neighborhood"? My neighborhood has about 180 homes. Do I know every child and parent from our neighborhood? Of course not.

This has to come from some racist right wing tea bagger. I always have extra candy each year. If I don't want to eat the left overs, I take it to work, or friends. What the hell is going on on this country where we can't help others once a year, and then complain because someone not from my neighborhood wants a few candy bars. WTF

[demwing]

119. Dog whistle

from a racist POS

[Docross]

77. Are you kidding me

I know of lots of people with that 'attitude', even among my own relatives. She probably took several of those type of 'non-human' letters to her and 'combined' them. To make a point, was the whole point. Kind of like a lot of Republicans actually say .. "the poor deserve it". Of course, most of them were born with a silver spoon in their mouths. Spoiled little rich kids -- except for Boehner...who should know better.

And Jesus said "and what you do for the least of mine...you do for me".


Grandpa thinks out of the box: "My biggest fear is that the three ghosts of Christmas are going to visit the Republicans and they're going to turn 'Nice"... and they'll put their brains together with ours and save the country and the world!

We''ll all become DEMOREPS!"

[d_r]

78. When our son was five

Last edited Thu Oct 23, 2014, 04:16 PM - Edit history (1)

one of my wife's friends, their kids played on the same soccer team as our son, they invited us over to their neighborhood (a new money sort of place) for a party and to take the kids trick or treating. As they were getting the kids ready to go trick or treating, another guest at the party put glow in the dark bracelets on all the kids from that neighborhood. I started figuring it out and looking at it as they walked around. They were marking kids that "lived" in that neighborhood so that they people could tell them from people who lived outside the neighborhood.

[Maedhros]

79. I just moved to a nice neighborhood, though nothing like what the OP describes.

I'm really looking forward to Halloween. I'm no doctor or lawyer or business owner, but I plan on giving out lots of candy and don't care one whit where the kids come from.

Yeesh. People are petty these days.

[vlyons]

80. No, you stingey, mean-spirited, resentful tight-wad

you don't have to give them candy. You can just stand on the front porch with your arms folded and yell, "Get off my lawn." Then you can go back in the house feeling all self-righteous and thinking to yourself, "well I sure showed those filthy little beggers!" You know what? You're just another rich white sociopath.

[logosoco]

84. It probably is a made up letter, but the sentiments probably are not.

I live on a street with 12 houses off a windy road with no shoulder so we have never had trick or treaters. My kids went to the big subdivisions like most in this area do. Now, lucky for me, my daughter bought a home in one of those big subdivisions, so every Halloween, I head over there with my candy that I spend a good chunk of the grocery budget on and sit out and have a BLAST! while my daughter takes her kids out for their fun.
I love it so much. Brings back childhood memories. Gives me a chance to ooh and ahh over the costumes and laugh at the silly jokes. And age does not matter to me, if you have anything even resembling a costume (one year it was teenagers with pots on their heads, they were potheads!), you get candy from me.
When the candy is gone, I go in, turn on the porch light and try to convince my grandsons that this or that candy bar is not really that good and I will eat it for them.

But, yeah, I get the sentiments in this writing. Those that got a lot don't usually like to give much!

[cemaphonic]

85. Solution: All the doctors and lawyers can send their kids a few blocks over to the billionaires

Sheesh, I wish my house got trick-or-treaters at all.

[erpowers]

90. Sad and Crazy

The first part was just terrible. The person asking the question was so obnoxious. Who cares if poor kids come to your area to trick-or-treat just give them some candy. It is crazy that someone that supposedly so upper crust would have a problem with paying a few extra dollars to pay for candy.

[Fantastic Anarchist]

91. It makes you FEEL like a terrible person, because you ARE a terrible person. n/t

[RadicalGeek]

98. The 'Gated Community' Mentality

What are "Those people" doing in my neighborhood?

I agree, and the extra candy that doesn't get distributed makes great snacks

[Tree-Hugger]

99. People do think this way

I've heard the same words from neighbors and co-workers.

I was born and raised in Philly and bring my kids there, to my parents' house, for trick-or-treat. The neighborhood is LOADED with children on Halloween - it's very fun. My parents' neighborhood is generally safe and we get kids who are driven in from more disadvantaged neighborhoods. People whine about. They whine that the kids *gasp* "don't even have real costumes!!" as most show up in school clothes, with backpacks, and maybe a dollar store mask or pair of fangs. Because costumes cost money. These kids come to my parents' neighborhood because it is WAY safer than their own neighborhood. You don't go trick-or-treating in safety in North Philly, Kensington, the Badlands, etc.

[elleng]

101. WTF indeed!

[riqster]

102. We live in a very neat, lower-middle-class neighborhood. LOTS of families drive here for TOT.

Because even though we and our neighbors are a helluva long way from rich, it is a safe neighborhood full of families and retirees. It is smart to bring kids here for TOT. We buy extra candy and enjoy the show.

[IMG][/IMG]

[woodsprite]

105. The more the merrier at our house!

For the past 12 years, we've built a large graveyard, that grew to include a maze through our garage, that has expanded through our den and onto our back deck. This year the theme is "clowns". It's more fun house than anything dark and gory. We're not that into gore anyhow, plus, we have new neighbors with a new baby and 3 kids under 7yo. News of our haunted house has spread and we do get people who come in from other areas.

We give kids a choice - candy or non-candy. We have several kids who had allergies to nuts or are diabetic, so we get a handful of non-edible stuff from Oriental Trading (Halloween notepads, crayons, tiny containers of playdoh).

This year the theme is Clowns. We're building a temporary (out of pvc) circus tent at the entrance to our garage for the real little kids that are afraid of the dark maze (poke-a-pumpkin, carnival mirrors, pumpkin chuckin'). They'll still have to walk through the clown's mouth to get into the tent. To get through the maze in our garage the kids will need to push through about 60 hanging pool noodles), find their way into and out of a checkerboard room (walls, floor, ceiling w/ a strobe light and hidden doors), find the exit to the endless hallway (mirrors at full floor/ceiling mirrors at both ends w/ black light and neon stripes), which dumps them into a web room (hanging threads and backlit crawling spiders on the walls), walk down the teeter hall (a slight ramp up, teeter board, and ramp down), exit through a surgical tubing ankle tickler for the candy past a motion-activated jack-in-the-box clown.

Next year's theme: Demented Disney!

To add: the largest year, we've had over 75 kids come through.

[Jokerman]

106. We get around 200 trick-or-treaters every Halloween.

They come in groups on foot or by the car load. We live in an urban residential neighborhood that is bordered on two sides by large apartment complexes and yes, many of the children we see are from the apartments.

Our solution to this "problem" is to buy more treats and work the front door in shifts.

I hold no ill-will toward the people who keep their lights off and their doors closed as there is both a monetary and a time cost to offering treats and that's their prerogative.

It's not a social service or a charity, just a chance to have some fun and at the same time honor all those people who gave me treats as a kid and never once asked what neighborhood I came from.

[pansypoo53219]

107. 'show me your papers before the snickers.'

[Louisiana1976]

108. What a silly question. When trick or treaters come from poorer neighborhoods it is a good idea

to give them candy. Not giving them candy is a very Republican thing to do.

[NutmegYankee]

109. I live in a old 1960s subdivision surrounded by rural roads and farms in all directions.

Kids come in from all around because we have low speed wide neighborhood streets and a lot of houses to visit. Normally you get 250-300 kids each Halloween. It's a big neighborhood thing to stock up and make the kids happy. I usually need about 900 pieces of candy.

[d_r]

116. that sounds awesome nt

[enough]

162. That's the way it's gotten to be where I live. The rural/suburban mixture means that

kids go to the subdivisions, and do not spend any time on the rural roads. We haven't had any kids come to our house for years, but the subdivisions have a lot of fun. It's great that people enjoy doing this, I've never heard anybody complain about having too many kids come around.

On the other hand, I do remember what it was like walking down an empty road going to the few houses along a dark country road with my few neighborhood friends out in the country feeling extremely adventurous and pretty scared knocking on doors on that wonderfully strange night. Out there in the dark you could believe things were not the same as usual.

[Skittles]

113. that is the difference between me and a repuke

I would WANT to give them candy

[KamaAina]

114. You should find out where this is

and KICK HER ASS!

[Skittles]

122. I know plenty of people like her

and yes, they do need their asses kicked BIGTIME

[NM_Birder]

125. Candy ?

boy is THAT the wrong neighborhood to live in. As a billionaire myself, I hand out I-Pads, get out of jail free cards and NY Giant season tickets at Halloween.

[jwirr]

126. I have seen kids come home with a wide variety of item on Holloween. Pencils for school, apples,

oranges, energy bars, juice in plastic bottles, etc. The most unique items were when I was in college. One of the art professors gave the kids a polished acorn one year, a small signed water painting another year and an metal disc with is very like a chime the next year. I still have the chime. Be creative and remember that they need things they can use.

[brooklynite]

128. I posted a reply with the following points...

...I experience the same thing, with the addition that I get "kids" who are clearly teenagers (frequently not in costume) and young parents who also expect candy. I have no objection to where visitors come from, but I think participation should be limited to youngsters.

[Dorian Gray]

199. I live in Brooklyn too

though we might be in different neighborhoods. But I just wanted to put this out there.

I have a friend who has a teenage son who is on the autism spectrum. (Pretty severely) At 16, he still wants to trick or treat, and I think it's important to be mindful that many teens (not just on the spectrum) are grappling with the adult v. child thing. They still love candy and want to trick or treat. They want to be grown up, but the attractions of childhood are still there.

So it's no skin off my chin to give them candy. (I'm not home for much of the night, anyhow, as I usually take my daughter to a Hallowween party at a kid's gym in our neighborhood. She, funnily enough, HATES candy, so we "trick or treat" on the way home at some friends homes. But we don't need to get a big bag of loot. And she's FOUR)

If a parent seems to want candy, I'll happily give it to them. Because lord knows I crave a three musketeers sometimes!

(We are in Park Slope... the Stepford Kids neighborhood!)

[scarystuffyo]

131. I can sympathize with the letter and understand her frustration

The way I solved it in my wealthy neighborhood is I post a large sign several days ahead of
October 31 saying I will require a recent utility bill shown by the child before I hand out candy.

[KamaAina]

145. We do have a sarcasm thingie

(colon, the word 'sarcasm', colon, no spaces).

[rhett o rick]

148. I don't sympathize with that whiny twerp. They have no business giving out candy.

I subscribe to a NSA identification service. Only the kids with photo id listed in the Booz Allen approved list get candy. Of course they have to sign a liability waiver in case they find a razor blade in their Snickers. When I tell the kiddies to have fun, they know I mean it. Last year I had 6 kids make it to the door. This year I expect fewer.

[Hekate]

132. Halloween visits fell off in recent years, and I missed it. But our neighbor started doing a haunted

...haunted house, and that brought them in from all over. I love seeing the kids come to our door, especially the littles. I don't care which neighborhood or street they're from.

Prudie's answer was perfect. Who knew there was a Grinch for Halloween?

[noiretextatique]

139. a perfect example of the uselessness of guilt

"Obviously this makes me feel like a terrible person, because what’s the big deal about making less fortunate kids happy on a holiday?"

Indeed...you are a terrible person, and that's why you feel like a terrible person.

"But it just bugs me, because we already pay more than enough taxes toward actual social services"

So, instead of taking responsibility for being a mean-spirited, petty, terrible person, who wants to deny candy to children, you choose instead to make lame excuses for your wretchedness.

and I'll add

[blackspade]

143. Face palm...

Tragically too many wealthy people feel this way.

Frankly, their taxes are too low.

[3catwoman3]

147. My only expectation of the kids who ring our bell...

...is that they at least say "Trick or Treat," preferably with some enthusiasm. When met with silence, I wait a moment. if nobody says anything, I raise my my eyebrows in a questioning expression and then cup my hands around my ears. Works every time. I figure that if I am doing my part handing out the goodies, the recipients need to do their part by chanting the expected phrase.

I do feel some annoyance at parents who bring around an infant who does not look old enough to be on solid foods yet, and expect to be given candy that the child cannot even chew yet. If you are an adult and want Halloween candy, go buy yourself some.

[packman]

151. They come in vans in our neighborhood

and loaded into the backs of pick-ups. Our community is typical house packed next to house and it is easy pickings to go from one door to the other. Last year we spent $43 on bags of cheap candy and had to turn off the light when we ran out. There was talk at the Homeowners Association of tagging the community kids with a badge and not giving out treats to the kids without one. Thankfully, it was voted down.

[JI7]

156. while it's possible that the specific letter in the OP could be fake there really ARE

people who feel this way. last year there was a teacher who posted something similar though it was full of racism on some site and was caught.

[ibegurpard]

161. sounds like my street

For some reason, my street is Halloween Central in my city. Kids come from all over the city and surrounding areas as well. It's almost like a street party.
I love it. It's so fun and my whole family comes to my house and gets in on it. I love the little kids in their costumes and the enjoyment I get out of it is money well spent (as far as the cost for all candy goes).

[Hestia]

167. Anyone here from Dallas? Y'all haven't experienced Halloween until you have seen a Swiss

Ave. Halloween! Wow! Residents recruit their friends to help out and most of the street really decorates - like one house has a Phantom of the Opera organ installed on the upper balcony, along with a light show - others were just as fantastic too. Kids from all the over the city would come to the street to T-o-T. There a lines at each house waiting for a bit of candy there are so many kids. We did theater a la The Grand Guignol (sorta, nothing bloody, just creepy costumes and stuff).

It is fantastic, the residents can't wait to treat the kids, and people come from all over. I think it is written in as a covenant when you buy a house on that street (just kidding )

There are some youtubes of past years but they do not really convey the magnitude of Halloween on Swiss Ave.

It's an absolute blast.

[LWolf]

168. Locally

we have many families living rurally, with no real neighborhoods to visit on Halloween. To keep them from overwhelming the small neighborhoods in town, our "main street" businesses host trick-or-treaters from late afternoon through closing. The street is decorated, and full of families in costume traveling up and down the 3-block stretch.

It works well; well enough that a lot of the families living in town do their trick-or-treating on Main Street rather than their own.

There are a few community centers that also do "trunk-or-treating" in the parking lot; people bring in decorated cars, etc., create paths between the cars, and pass candy out from the cars.

Perhaps if this woman doesn't like her neighborhood being popular, she could organize some community events like these.

[ReRe]

170. Gawd, don't remind me of those people...

... sounds like my Mother in law.

The same ones who gripe about what someone on food stamps buys at the grocery store.

The ones who gripe about the grocery store sponsoring a food drive for needy families in the community at Thanksgiving time.

The ones who gripe about the gift ticket Christmas Tree at the grocery store at Christmas time.

The ones who march to church every Sunday.

[fbc]

172. I am kind of annoyed by the adults though...

Last year I lived in a house a few blocks from a very poor neighborhood. Of course I didn't mind the kids at all -that's the whole point! But there were many adults taking advantage.

[NaturalHigh]

174. What?

My wife buys a ton of candy and then gets irritated when there aren't enough trick-or-treaters to take it. Different worlds, I guess.

In our neighborhood, it's understood that if you don't have the porch lights on, you don't want any trick-or-treaters. I wonder if her neighborhood has any similar rules.

[X_Digger]

177. We will be shutting our door / turning our light off once it gets completely dark out.

Last year we had great kids up until that point, then it turned to bored teenagers with pillow cases and no costumes looking to score some candy.

[CTyankee]

209. Oh, me too. We welcome all the littler kids but the teens are annoying...

ours is a middle class street with poorer neighbors on one side of our neighborhood and richer ones on the other. The littler kids always have a parent or two with them and they seem to enjoy it as much as their kids do!

[Cha]

178. Oh the humanity! Whiniest Whine Eva'! Where's my damn

[Retrograde]

179. How else am I gonna get rid of all this candy?

House prices in my neighborhood went through the roof about ten years ago, and have been going up astronomically since. Not too far away - I can walk there in half an hour - is a dense, crowded neighborhood, mostly apartments, with a large Central American and Pacific Islander population. I suspect about half the kids we get come from the latter area, since we have better street lighting and sidewalks. Kids are kids: if I have to buy candy to begin with, a few more bags is no big deal.

[brewens]

182. People that are pretty well off are possibly the real culprits. How does she know where they are

from? Greedy parents teaching their kids to be greedy by taking them to a well off area, letting them run the street and then loading up to go to another. So those poor welfare parents pick this one night to be industrious and kick ass to get their kids candy? Wouldn't she assume they'd be home drinking and using drugs? Nope. Probably upper middle class types taking their kids to where the good loot is.

I live in a poor areas and have a house that is a hot spot for tricker treaters. One Halloween, I totally spaced it out. Didn't decorate or anything until I got home late in the afternoon. I got online a printed out some emergency decorations but didn't have any candy. I got out my change jars and mixed up a bowl of change. That was the treat! They got one chance to grab a handful of change and there really were quite a few quarters in there. Some would just shyly grab a handful, others would plunge their hand in there, turn it over and scoop as much as they could into their bag!

My girlfriend make a night of it now. The kids get their choice, go for the handfull of little candies, or go for the change bowl. Adults that I know, get a beer or a cigar. Between my girlfriend and I, we end up with a little mini party going on with her friend and mine on. This one might be the best yet. It's on Friday!

[OldRedneck]

184. The poor kids should be coming to your neighborhood . . .

. . . with pitchforks, torches, and a guillotine.

[tularetom]

185. Better give 'em something - ever hear of the "flaming bag of dog poo" trick?

It was a favorite in a bygone era.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

192. Now ya done it....

http://www.gameplayer.com/game/flaming-bag-of-poo

[IronLionZion]

188. Has anyone here heard a RW conservative ask for approval of their beliefs ever?

No doubt there are many who believe the crap in the letter. But who the hell would ask publicly for approval? If they cared what anyone else thinks of their selfishness, they would hide it.

[toddwv]

189. Dear 99,

You feel like a horrible person because you are a horrible person.

[Revanchist]

194. I was joking with my wife that I want to pass out the candy I got as a kid

Necco wafers, sky bars, bit o'honey, mary janes, that kind of stuff but I don't want to get my are egged.

[Adrahil]

195. We tend to get a lot of kids from poorer neighborhoods....

.... They are all welcome at my house so long as we have candy. I only have three rules:

1) You must be in costume. (At least a mask)

2) You must say Trick or Treat if over the age of "I'm totally freaked out" and are able to.

[ileus]

196. Someone threw out troll bait and caught a Purdie...

[TNNurse]

202. JUST PUT A SIGN IN THE YARD

RICH, SELFISH, STINGY, HEARLTESS PEOPLE LIVE HERE....DO NOT BOTHER US.

AND PLEASE LEAVE IT UP YEAR ROUND SO EVERYONE KNOWS.

[lonestarnot]

204. You forgot,

NOW KEEP THE FUCK OFF THE LAWN!

[joeglow3]

207. I don't mind it, with one caveat

Get out of the fucking car, lazy asses. We usually have a number of people come to our neighborhood (not because it is upscale, but we have extremely high participation by the homes and a lot of kids). It doesn't bother me, except we will usually see a handful of cars that literally drive, 2 miles per hour, house to house, following their kids. This can be dangerous to the kids in the neighborhood and flat out lazy (recognizing there are rare exceptions where the adult is incapable of walking).

[itsrobert]

211. I bought extra candy from Walmart

one year. The candy was the regular package candy. I bought too much, so I took it back to Walmart the next day. Walmart said it was a seasonal item and I couldn't return it. I said, that this was regular packaged candy, not the seasonal halloween package candy and I am entitled to a refund. The walmart manager huffed and puffed, but I eventually got my refund after making a scene.

I don't go to Walmart often.

[oberliner]

214. Agree with those who think this is a fake letter

She gets fooled by them all the time. Once someone wrote in with the plot of the music video for Voices Carry and she responded to it as if it was a serious question before commenters noted the fact that is was taken from that video.

[VA_Jill]

216. We don't do T or T

because we live in the country and don't get any trick or treaters. When I was married to my late ex, we lived in a rural subdivision and got a lot of trick-or-treaters. Some we knew and some we didn't. I didn't really care, because it was fun. Out there parents had to drive their kids from one subdivision to another as a matter of course. It wasn't a BFD. The county had a lot of Hispanics and some black kids and we got a little bit of everything.