Kochs Approve Plan to Fire Cash from Cannon at Voters

[IDemo]

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—The billionaire Koch brothers have approved a controversial plan to shoot cash from cannons directly at voters heading into polling places on Election Day.

The plan, which Koch insiders have privately referred to as Operation Money Shot, would distribute as much as seventy million dollars in small bills in the hopes of seizing Republican control of the United States Senate next Tuesday.

While most state laws prohibit electioneering within a hundred feet of polling places, the Koch plan craftily skirts that restriction by using high-powered cash cannons, similar to the T-shirt cannons used in sports arenas, which have a range of up to a hundred and fifty feet.

According to a spokesman for the Kochs, “Under the law, corporations are considered people, and people have always had the right to fire money from cannons at other people.”

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/kochs-approve-plan-fire-cash-cannon-voters?utm_source=tny&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=borowitz&mbid=nl_Borowitz%20%28131%29&CUST_ID=16449100&spMailingID=7249250&spUserID=NzA5MDgxNTQ3NDAS1&spJobID=543390433&spReportId=NTQzMzkwNDMzS0

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

1. I'm guessing they'd fire bills at Repub voters

and use pennies as grapeshot to mow down Dem voters...

[Half-Century Man]

2. Do as the Koch brothers would do.

Take the (republican) money and vote for the other (Democrats) guys.

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

4. We have a winner

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

3. You know how I knew it was satire? Because they'd never give a buck to the peons. From what I heard

these dickheads wouldn't even tip their doorman.