My Married, DEMOCRAT daughter is fighting with her Republican Married Friends

[HockeyMom]

Stupid idiots. They cannot understand why SHE did not vote for Republicans because she has a HUSBAND who supports her and her son. She tried to inform them why, and her husband is a Democrat also, but to no avail. So as her mother, I got on that FB page, and gave them MY two cents. You young women are totally CLUELESS what life was like 50 years ago, let alone even 20 years ago. Just wait. You will see, mark my words, as a woman old enough to be your mother ALSO. I LIVED discrimination. You never have. If you don't want to believe my daughter, believe me, or you will find out yourself at your own peril; wedding ring or not.

[cali]

1. just a note: It's not ever ever ever "DEMOCRAT". It's "DEMOCRATIC"

Please do not use repuke language.

[malaise]

4. +1,000

I hate it

[RebelOne]

6. I always say I am a Democrat,

and say I am part of the Democratic party. What is wrong with her use of Democrat?

[Blanks]

14. Me too. I always vote for the democrats, and the democratic candidates.

I think folks are getting carried away to the point of being incorrect.

[SheilaT]

20. Because in the headline, the D word is an adjective, modifying the noun "daughterr"

and Democratic is the adjectival version of the noun Democrat.

Now if she'd said, My daughter is a Democrat, that would be okay. But not Democrat daughter.

(stepping down from my grammar step stool)

[yourout]

24. So if there had been a comma after "Democrat" then it would have been proper?

[SheilaT]

37. Maybe. Just barely.

If there is a noun after the word Democrat, that word should be Democratic.

signed,
Sheila, the grammar witch.

Only you can imagine what my friends actually call me.

[mattclearing]

21. Democrat is not an adjective. nt

[muriel_volestrangler]

40. Nouns do get used in front of other nouns, acting as adjectives

eg 'my married, pharmacist daughter ...'.

[WhiteAndNerdy]

41. That's what I was going to say, but I wasn't sure I was up for an argument.

There is nothing wrong with the way the OP expressed it. The person to whom she was referring is both her daughter and a Democrat. If she had said "Democratic daughter," it would have implied that there is something essentially Democratic in her daughter's status as her daughter, which is obviously absurd. The difference is subtle, but it's important.

I think the misunderstanding is an example of hypercorrection, when people believe they are correcting grammatical errors but no actual error was made.

[muriel_volestrangler]

43. Agreed - the party should always be "the Democratic Party", because that's its name

but when it's the way to describe a person, you can choose 'Democrat' or 'Democratic' as you feel appropriate.

[mattclearing]

44. LOL. nt

[yourout]

7. That is actually the correct context. I would describe myself as a Democrat.

Democratic is an adjuctive describing someone or something.
Democrat is a noun. IE...I am a Democrat.

[brewens]

28. We shouldn' probably even respond to Republicans using "Democrat Party", it only encourages them

when we bitch about it. I listened to the bloated, pillhead, pedophile on the radio the other day. The company van I drove was tuned to KQQQ, Pullman, WA, (affectionately known as KKKQ) a local talk radio station. I decided to give him a little listen. I don't know how many times he said "Democrat Party"? It was ridiculous, his throwing that into sentances at every opportunity. I really can't believe they get such a charge out of it.

[upaloopa]

2. More and more it is becoming clear to me that

the battles that we fought and won in the 60's and 70's hold no relevance for younger people.
Those born during the conservative revolution don't have a clue.

[Mika]

12. + infinity. I was just watching some old Stokely Charmichael speeches on YouTube...

... that confirms exactly what you say.

[hifiguy]

23. Way too true.

[lpbk2713]

3. I have friends and family of the rightie persuasion.

You have my sympathies. I avoid any in depth political discussions
with them because I know you can't fix that kind of stupid.

[mnhtnbb]

9. My husband is right now visiting family in Georgia. Yes, right wing.

When he left he asked me what he should tell them why I wasn't coming.
I told him to say "I've developed an allergy to Republicans. They make me
unable to say anything but swear words."

I just couldn't do it, especially with the election yesterday. I can just
imagine how repressed and depressed he's going to be when he gets home
tomorrow.

[ncjustice80]

38. I cut off all my Repuke family members.

Has your husband considered doing the same? Its amazing how liberated yoi feel when you dont have the burdenof seeing a bunch assholes every holiday

[mnhtnbb]

39. He's been very conflicted about it.

He hasn't seen them for a couple of years and his BIL is 90ish and going rapidly downhill. He considered
it probably the last time he'll see him alive, so really went as a tribute to his sister. There's a long
history--way back--of how his sister has helped him. So, despite the politics, there's very
strong connection with her.

[Hortensis]

17. That's the simple truth. I never changed a conservative mind in 40 years pointing out

Last edited Wed Nov 5, 2014, 08:35 PM - Edit history (1)

facts and problems with the lies they loved to embrace.

Your daughter might take the advice I finally, belatedly did and learn to explain her VALUES even people determined to misunderstand will have trouble dismissing, preferably by using terms that reverberate strongly with them. As a social scientist points out, "All politics is moral, and morality trumps policy." So state values and their moral basis briefly -- using their language -- and absolutely refuse to muddy the message by criticizing or responding to arguments. Repeat as often as possible.

This is a positive approach that Elizabeth Warren employs a LOT. As in "No one who works full time should live in poverty."

Others could be your daughter's version of,
Empowering women strengthens society.
It is our duty to protect our nation and our children from the threat of global warming.
It is our duty to correct the extreme inequality of income that is destabilizing our nation and threatening our children's future.
Taxes are how citizens pay their share of being Americans.

[lumberjack_jeff]

5. Then how should our messaging be changed to appeal to married women?

It's not the voters fault they didn't vote for us. It's incumbent on us to convince them to vote for us.

Fair or not, much of our current rhetoric is perceived as an attack on men and in my experience, wives are the ones most keenly attuned to it.

In the words of a woman in my acquaintance, "if the pay gap was the biggest issue in the world to me personally, I'd have gone to school to be an engineer, rather than marrying one."

[HockeyMom]

11. Marrying one won't help you

because HE can lose HIS job. Then what? Unless you yourself have your own job skills to take up the slack, and not taking any time off to stay home and raise your children, you and your HUSBAND will be up the creek without a paddle. Been there, done that. "Why haven't you been employed in blank number of years?" Business employers don't want to hear that, which is one reason why I canned the business world for education. I raised two children. That was enough "working" for them.

[lumberjack_jeff]

15. So your political strategy is to tell women what to do because you know what's best for them?

They tend to know what is best for their families, and in general, consider attacks on the husbands income bad. Doubly so if child support is part of the family calculus.

[upaloopa]

16. Women are not a homogenous group who all think alike.

I am married to an intellegent independent woman. We are married for over 30 years now. She knows what she wants for herself and I am the beneficiary of it. The opposite is true.

[lumberjack_jeff]

18. Indeed not, which illustrates the folly of demagoguery on that basis. n/t

[HockeyMom]

22. Arguing right now with a male

His "hard earned money" supporting SLUTS who can't keep their legs crossed. Told my daughter to lose this "friend".

[Iris]

32. what the hell?

How can anyone buy into that crap? What kind of degrees do these people have? Hell, you don't even need a degree to understand that paying for contraception is a lot chapter than paying for unwanted babies. Then again, the whole problem is a non-problem designed to deflect attention from the real reasons none of us has enough money anymore.

[liberal_at_heart]

27. I'm not sure how you appeal to a group of women that see themselves as submissive to their

husbands. I can relate to their circumstances but not their mentality. I have been married and a stay at home mom for 20 years. But I don't see myself as submissive in any way, so I have no idea where they are coming from and have no idea how we are supposed to appeal to them. Maybe they get so defensive because in their religion and culture it is the man's responsibility to make the money and they are discouraged from working. Therefore, their husband's paycheck is their only security and when your security is seemingly attacked you get defensive. But I don't understand how addressing equal pay hurts a man's paycheck unless that is a lie the conservatives have been telling their women which I have no doubt they do.

[lumberjack_jeff]

30. I do.

If you've correctly diagnosed the problem (you haven't) then one would articulate policy that is supportive of their family's perceived needs. I.E. "democrats are the party of the working man" or "Every Man a King"

I can't reconcile complete financial dependence with hostility to his economic interests.

[LittleBlue]

8. You're right. Unfortunately longer perspectives are often lost on the young

In general, chastising young people for not appreciating something that happened a long time ago is not effective. It's so difficult to comprehend without having lived through it.

Our main struggle is to make Democrats relevant to the younger generation. We've done it on a few issues. Unfortunately it seems we're turning more and more to the lesser evil appeal, which I think is far less effective on young people.

[gratuitous]

10. Not that it matters, but what was the context?

After all, humans organize ourselves into societies not so that the winners get more, but so that the less privileged are taken care of, too. You know, like that Jesus fella talked about?

[badtoworse]

13. That is unfortunate. Friendships are too important to allow politics to ruin them.

If you have a half a dozen true friends in life, you are blessed. I would never let politics cost me one and none of my true friends would either.

[HockeyMom]

25. I have not talked to my husband's niece in 3 years

because of her religious stance on gays. Her twin brother, older sister, and my daughter are gay. If she can bash her own flesh and blood because of her religion, as her NON flesh and blood in-law, I want nothing to do with her.

[badtoworse]

34. From the little you've described, I would say there is more going on than just politics

In fact, I don't see this as political at all. You're talking about tolerance, family relationships and accepting things you might not approve of because you love the other person. Even though her religion might not condone gay behavior, it almost certainly would oblige her to love and respect gay people, and it would condemn her gay bashing. That is the position of my religion.

The situation is undoubtedly very difficult and I hope it can somehow be reconciled.

[Iris]

33. That all sounds very nice but in my experience, some people live political ideologies that make them

undesirable as friends. I don't want to be friends with sexists, racists, homophobes, or people who are indifferent to the plight of the poor or the human condition in general.

[badtoworse]

35. See Post 34. I would not characterize those things as political; they're character flaws.

[Iris]

36. good point. n/t

[Nuclear Unicorn]

19. I married my republican.

We both became anarchists.

[randys1]

26. DemocartIC daughter, DemocratIC daughter

DemocratIC daughter
DemocratIC daughter
DemocratIC daughter
DemocratIC daughter
DemocratIC daughter
DemocratIC daughter
DemocratIC daughter

and I see above that Rove and his word smiths now have us arguing about it, how fucking pathetic

[muntrv]

29. They must think Repubs will outlaw divorce.

[ConnorMarc]

31. I'm Not Quite Sure I Understand The Argument

Why were they arguing?

I couldn't decipher what was the contention.

[Blue_Adept]

42. More time spent arguing linguistics here than anything else

Which just further shows how screwed up a lot of us are.