McConnell's Election As Majority Leader Announced With Puff Of Toxic Black Coal Smoke

[KamaAina]

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/mcconnells-election-majority-leader-announced-puff-toxic-black-coal-smoke

The election of Senator Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky) as the Senate Majority Leader was announced on Thursday by a puff of toxic black coal smoke rising from the United States Capitol.

Speaking from the well of the Senate, McConnell blasted President Obama’s recent climate-change deal with the Chinese, saying that it violated “the human rights of carbon.”

“I’m not a scientist,” he told his colleagues, “but I’m told that carbon is the basic building block of all life on earth. And that means it should enjoy the same human rights as you and I.”...

Outside the Capitol, McConnell supporters who had been waiting for the symbolic puff of black smoke let out an exuberant cheer, before rubbing their irritated eyes and choking.

[wandy]

1. Borowitz strikes again. The trouble is that life is making it all too easy for him............

And as the sulphuric vapors rose in the evening sky many thought they could see the smiling faces of Charles and David Koch in the oily clouds.

There I fixed it.

[FSogol]

2. K&R. n/t

[Ykcutnek]

3. Facebooked it.

Got a lot of "FRIENDS OF COAL" cult followers on there too.

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

4. That was James Inhofe passing gas

He has a lot from all the fracking fluid he's comsumed.