Why it's worth getting to know your neighbors

[NNN0LHI]

http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/tribu/sc-fam-0424-know-neighbor-20120424,0,1537188.story

Some neighborly advice on reaching out and making connections

By Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz, Tribune Newspapers

April 25, 2012

In my apartment building, I can tell you what the roommates across the hall fight about and that the guy upstairs has a squeaky mattress. What I cannot tell you is any of their names — and that, experts say, doesn't do anyone any good.

Neighborly relations have declined in the U.S. since the 1950s, for reasons sociologists don't quite know, and lack of local ties is bad for crime and a community's ability to organize for their interests, to say nothing of leaving you stranded when you need one more egg.

Some 28 percent of us know none of our neighbors' names, reports a 2010 Pew survey; it's particularly pervasive among younger and lower-income people.

"The biggest barrier is just a perception that we should not be involved," said Keith Hampton, associate professor of communications at Rutgers University. "We fear having people intrude in our lives, but we also have to recognize ... (the) risk in not knowing the people around you."

Knowing your neighbors can help defuse conflicts before they turn ugly.

[MrScorpio]

1. Fear of our litigious society, general paranoia and selfishness are my guesses

Pretty much why no one wants to get involved with their neighbor's biz

[NNN0LHI]

2. There are over 50 homes in my subdivision and I know everyone who lives here

Not all of them by name because I have always been terrible remembering names.

But I know every one of them well enough to stop and talk to them if they are outside when I walk my dog. I don't get nosy. Just small talk.

Don

[FreeJoe]

9. Similar

We live in a neighborhood of about 60+ homes. I don't know everyone, but I know most of them. My wife knows everyone. Having a strong community is important to us, so she organizes block parties, heads the neighborhood watch, and makes a point of welcoming newcomers. Someone else manages a spreadsheet with everyone's names, kid names, phone numbers, e-mail, etc. I love being part of a good community.

[RC]

3. The problem with not knowing your neighbors started with the invention of window screens.

Before window screens, people used to sit on their front porch, where it was cooler. If they were inside, it was hotter and the flying bugs were more of a nuance.
However, when screens became available, people started staying inside more to get away from the flying bugs. Fans in the windows, help make the mostly bug free heat inside tolerable. Air conditioning cinched it. After that, people closed their windows most of the year.

[Go Vols]

4. .

I know most of my neighbors,only a few houses close by tho.I call the elderly couple across the street regularly to remind them to turn off the headlights on the car.Take care of another neighbors dog when they are on vacation.

[closeupready]

5. My neighbors are generally very rude.

In my building, that's another story - we all try to smile and say 'hi' at a minimum. And I actually know some of them quite well, as they've lived there for some time.

But there's a lot of transiency in my area - young people - students, mostly - come and go. Typically they are into loud parties, late nights, drunkenness and other types of intoxication, trashy behavior - why on Earth would I want to make their acquaintance? To the contrary, I figuratively put them on real-life ignore, and push them away. I want NOTHING to do with such atrocious people.

They move in, cause trouble, leave a mess, and then they get evicted. Good riddance and it's only in the last couple years that I've noticed more settled people and people who work and have fairly normal lives who are settling in.

[Capt. Obvious]

6. I've been making a concerted effort to meet my neighbors over the last year

It's a good feeling knowing who lives next door and across the street.
I even met the Ron Paul yard sign family at the other end of the subdivision and they were nice enough.

I still want to meet the dog walker who doesn't pick up after their dog though - f'n menace they are.

[CRK7376]

7. Our neighbors to the

right and left of us are staunchly, Red Repugs....One couple with no kids, the other with 2 kids. rural neighbors, none college educated, mostly mind their own business as do we. They are jealous/upset whatever that my wife, is a stay at home mom....They constantly drop hints that they have to work, that it's easier to stay home with kids....Idiots....We made the choice for my wife to stay home after working for 15 years to have our children. We sure could have used the extra income, teaching in NC pays ok, but not enough to survive with 3 kids. Wife's job would have all been sucked up into daycare...So I went back into the Army and wife and kids stay in one location, I move from time to time, but mostly near the family and am home with them nearly all weekends...Works for us, Works for the Romney's and their Silver Spoons...we don't even own silver, except for a fork and a few spoons that we made into a windchime for the garden....

[zbdent]

8. semi-related story ...

Okay, I know this guy in the aspect of "every time I drive by, he waves." Since I live on a tertiary street and have to drive on this street almost exclusively, when he's on his porch, he waves.

I don't know his name. Appears to be in 80s, if that young.

So, I was riding with my mother-in-law a couple of weeks ago. Nice, warm day, windows down.

As we pass by this gentleman's house, I hear a noise. Looking in the side mirror, it appears that he's not in his usual chair. Craning my neck to look back, I see this man lying on his porch.

I get my m.i.l. to turn around at the end of the road, and we get back. This gentleman is halfway up from falling down, and we have no room to turn around other than getting to the end of the (.1 mile) street.

After we get back to the house, I stick my head out of the car's window, and ask: "Are you okay?"

This man says "I'm OK. I'm sorry."

I see that he had dropped stuff on the porch, and I told my m.i.l. to hang on. I get out of the car and jog over to this man's porch. I ask how he's doing, and I find out he fell when he was going to set food out for a neighbor dog.

I started cleaning it up for him, and checking to make sure he's okay. I get most of it, other than a small pile of mashed potatoes. He has continued apologizing for what happened, and I tried to reassure him that I was just making sure he was okay. Always saw him waving, I would honk or wave back. (same neighborhood, same waver, for about 20 years).

After being reassured that he was okay, I got back in the car with m.i.l. Didn't see him on the porch for about a week.

But the other day, I did see him talking with a neighbor, standing on the other side of the street. I honked and waved, and he waved back.

Seems like he's okay.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Hey, maybe I don't personally know this guy, but it didn't hurt to help him out.

[renate]

11. that was kind of you, and he sounds sweet!

I'm glad he was okay, and I'm glad you checked!

[gratuitous]

10. There are powerful interests in our society

Believe it or don't, but I have observed that there are interests in our society that profit quite nicely from people being un-neighborly and suspicious of one another. You can guess some of the obvious ones for whom a scared citizenry is a fragmented citizenry, easier to make a buck off of.

In about a thousand different ways, large and small, certain interests can exploit society better by keeping individuals atomized, apart, and so busy looking out for themselves that they fail to recognize any benefit to the concept of the common good. The people who live in close proximity to you have a great deal more in common with you than the disembodied voices on the radio and the distant persons who appear on your television screen. Even the ones who fail to pick up after their dog or post a Paul for President sign in their yard.

[jwirr]

12. I agree. I live in a duplex and even though I do not always get along with my upstairs neighbor but

we help each other when we need to. She uses my laundry and I watch her little boy to make sure he gets on the bus in the morning when she is at work. I enjoy being able to help someone when they need it.

[Liberal_in_LA]

13. I didn't get to know my neighbors until I bought a home...then barely