Ask Third-Way Manny!, Inaugural Edition
(The first, and hopefully the last, in a series.)
Dear Third-Way Manny:
I'm the CEO of an enormous American company. I recently hired someone, let's call her him Bartleby, to run the critical group which is responsible for our partnership agreements with other huge companies. He came highly recommended, although I couldn't actually figure out what he'd done to earn such impressive accolades. But he seemed to be a fighter and a winner, so I hired him.
A most unusual thing occurred his first day on the job! During training on how to use our email system, Bartleby simply declined to use our email system, saying plainly "I would prefer not to." Instead, Bartleby announced that he'd use only his personal email address (bartleby@ifwecandoitformarcrichwecandoitforyou.com) for all corporate correspondence, and further - are you sitting down? - that his personal email would be hosted from a computer in his basement!
This seemed a little unusual, and perhaps risky. For example, we have a policy of retaining company email to ensure that we comply with audit laws, but Bartleby would not hear of it. "I would prefer not to. Instead, I'll sort through my personal emails after I am no longer in your employ, and send to you those I deem to be yours."
Certainly, from time to time some of our employees use personal email for business, say, when they need something to get through our highly-secure networks that sometimes prevent attachments from going in or out. But to totally refuse to use our email system? As the kids say these days, WTF?
Third-Way Manny, as the CEO of an enormous corporation, I'm certainly not one of the Lumpenproletariat that are normally becalmed by your concise and mellifluous explanations using only small words. But still, I admire your incredible wisdom, insight, and lightning disco-moves; and today I seek your good counsel: What am I to do about Bartleby and his unusual demands around using email?
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Dear Reader,
There's nothing wrong, or even suspicious, about what Bartleby wants to do -frankly, only a Lumpenprole would use a business email address for business email. The real question is why are you totally obsessed with hating on Bartleby over something that happens all the time? A hatred so unwarranted, so desperate, and so intense, it can only stem from something to do with private parts.
Regards,
Third-Way Manny
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