Kansas Will Make Sure Welfare Queens Can’t Get Their Palms Read On Caribbean Cruises

[niyad]

(I was soooo hoping this was from borowitz or the Onion)

Madame Endora sees more poverty in your future


Kansas Will Make Sure Welfare Queens Can’t Get Their Palms Read On Caribbean Cruises

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Also, call the police if you see a poor person smiling, as that is now illegal.

It is very tough coming up with new and creative ways to fuck the poor. A Missouri rep decided in March that he would try to do it by advancing a bill to make sure none of those gross people on SNAP benefits would be able to buy luxury items like seafood, because heaven forfend poor people (who are not actually spending money on lobster) have something healthy to eat.

Kansas has now completely one-upped its eastern neighbor, by sending Governor Sam Brownback HB 2258, which delineates a truly novel list of things welfare queens are NOT ALLOWED to spend their money on, like cruise ships for instance! That’s right, Kansas poors, you do NOT get to take the literally hundreds of dollars per month — $429 if you’re a family of three! — the government provides for people on temporary assistance and just fritter it away on Caribbean vacations. Also banned are booze, cigarettes, concerts, sportsball games, clubs where ladies or gentleman get nekkid, and a whole list of other places.


Another fun place that will be off limits is “fortune tellers.” Apparently, in Kansas, those on welfare tend to get their checks and immediately use their Obamaphones to make an appointment with Madame Endora, to find out when they’re going to meet Mr. Right. We are glad Kansas legislators are dealing with this problem.

One of the bill’s main proponents, a certain state senator Michael O’Donnell (R-Duh) of Wichita, says this is just to make sure that the poors are Living Their Best Lives:
Sen. Michael O’Donnell, a Wichita Republican who led advocacy for House Bill 2258, said the bill was designed to compel people to spend public assistance “more responsibly” and to shape the state’s support system in ways that moved individuals into jobs, providing each with dignity.
“We’re trying to make sure those benefits are used the way they were intended,” O’Donnell said. “This is about prosperity. This is about having a great life.”

Republicans, always fighting the good fight to improve quality of life for impoverished folks. Be still our bleeding liberal hearts! O’Donnell is also very offended and upset by the mean people who have suggested that maybe Republicans have a real hard-on for fucking the poor, saying that he is “sad that words like diabolical, spite, evil, malicious, elitist have been brought up.” He adds, “that hurts.” Awww, poor baby.

. . . . .



Read more at http://wonkette.com/581939/kansas-will-make-sure-welfare-queens-cant-get-their-palms-read-on-caribbean-cruises#tVdoGE1WbsSPAySK.99

[phil89]

1. If you receive government money

You can expect them to place restrictions on how it's spent. Not sure why it makes sense for people to be prioritizing cruises if they are in need. It turns public opinion against programs that help people, and funding will be reduced, which isn't good for anyone.

[niyad]

2. dear goddess, PLEASE tell me that you forgot the sarcasm icon.

[lapislzi]

3. Agree 100%

--Wall Street bankers
--Auto manufacturers
--Private sector defense contractors
--Private, for-profit prisons
--Private, for-profit hospitals that are paid by Medicaid and Medicare

Of COURSE there should be restrictions on how government money is spent when offering handouts. After all, these are YOUR tax dollars.

I for one am grateful that someone has the courage to take on the most pressing social issues of the day.

[niyad]

5. I know, how utterly brave!!

[eShirl]

4. oh FFS

I give up on DU today.

[niyad]

6. one is inclined to bang one's head (well, someone's head anyway) against a brick wall.