Desperate Residents of Austin Completely Surrounded by Texas

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

AUSTIN (The Borowitz Report) – In a deepening humanitarian crisis, residents of the city of Austin report that they are completely surrounded by Texas, a situation that locals are calling “dire.”

Austin has traditionally enjoyed freedoms as a semi-autonomous region, hosting film festivals and literary events without the interference of its hostile neighbors, but there are growing fears that those days may be coming to an end.

Alarmingly, citizens of Austin report, extremists within the city limits have taken over the Capitol Building and installed a militant government with dominion over its residents.

In recent days, Austin has made desperate requests for assistance to the U.S. military, which will be conducting exercises in Texas in July.

The city is hoping that the United States will use its military might to liberate the isolated municipality and transform it into an independent state along the lines of Kurdistan.

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/desperate-residents-of-austin-completely-surrounded-by-texas?mbid=nl_050715_Borowitz&cndid=25394153&mbid=nl_050715_Borowitz&CNDID=25394153&spMailingID=7724212&spUserID=MzM2OTE2NTg3MTcS1&spJobID=680729474&spReportId=NjgwNzI5NDc0S0

[Gothmog]

1. I love good satire

[Comrade Grumpy]

2. When I told people I lived in Texas, they asked where.

I said "Austin."

They said, "That ain't Texas!"

[WinkyDink]

3. I'm sure the rest of Texas wouldn't object to a little secession here and there. Tradition!

[ghostsinthemachine]

4. Awesome

Love Austin and have many many friends there. the rest of the state you can keep but Austin rocks.

[Fred Sanders]

5. The most politically gerrymandered districts in the country are in and surround Austin...this is

not satire from Borowitz at all, it is truth, Austin is literally surrounded by a hostile foreign nation.

Liberal Austin is represented by 80% Republicans in Congress!

[AwakeAtLast]

6. My sister is one of them

And IMHO, Austin is becoming overgrown. It is losing its charm with too many condos and no improvements in transportation.

But, as long as I can get me some Torchy's, I will get over it........