General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsLearning about life - in a garden, and meeting other gardeners. just a little Sunday story
It's Sunday and I am in my house and on my sofa, after a day of working in the yard, planting a few things, helping some customers pick out tomato plants, rearranging my driveway, missing my wife (more on that later - she is on a mission that will be tough on her, but demonstrates so much why she is an angel), comforted by my dogs and cats. There is a gentle rain falling and I can her cardinals, towhees, summer tanagers and chickadees calling outside.
In a way, I guess I've been a bit of an ostrich since being shown the door from my pharma job a few years ago - since my book came out late December, it catalyzed a seeming endless series of activities - speaking engagements large and small. far (Seattle) and near (Raleigh), book signings large and small, and over the past month, overlaid with our annual veggie seedling sales and then planting our own garden. I am no happier with the state of the world, depressed at the state of the environment, the staggering numbers of hungry, or abused, or forgotten - made worse in contrast to the ego, greed, careless of the super wealthy and most politicians (yes, I am a bleeding heart - with a B).
But I've immersed myself in what was put before me - the trips, speaking engagements, and signings. Prior to this, I found myself getting a bit bitter - frustrated with people, wondering what they were thinking - or why they weren't. Wondering why so few saw the world like most of us do here on DU. And now that I've done nearly 40 events, met hundreds of people, shared a bit of my passion, my life, heard some of their passions and their lives - it has mellowed me a bit, and made me a bit less angry, more understanding and forgiving, and mostly, realizing that there are lots and lots of good people that do think of things the way we do.
Or maybe it is that gardeners are a slice of life that relish slowing down, listening to birds, looking at the detail in delicate flowers, or delight in the flavor of home grown fruit and vegetables. Maybe the answer to our mess - humanity's mess - is in working harder to find a common interest, learning about the person, and at least finding something to latch onto. I don't know....
My wife's sister has a serious health issue, so she went north yesterday to help out for a few weeks. This leaves me even more time to think....to realize how humbling it is to have a book that people seem to want to hear about and read, to be able to share your excitement with others, and have them share theirs right back at you.
In my driveway, in our month of seedling sales, I've met a few hundred people that we call our "annual friends" - meeting over a common interest. When we used to sell at the local farmers market, it was hectic, insane, no time to talk. In my driveway, each day, there is time to spend, walk around the yard, share some stories and watch friendships develop. In the 15 years we've been doing this we've watched families form - babies born, then children go to school, or head for college. We've heard of lovely people that become ill, and some have moved away, or passed away. It is such a privilege to become little parts of people's lives, and it has given me a chance to share my story as well - over those 15 years we've seen our own two girls have issues that they've overcome and my annual customers often were there just at the right moment as sounding boards. Our customers have heard of the passing of all four of my wife/my parents. And loss of my job - and decision to write a book.
Even on DU, I find myself reaching out more, connecting with people whose posts and contributions I've enjoyed...heard from some that have been a bit absent, but the returning messages are like little gifts that make my day.
We get angry, fight here with each other, have strong opinions. But one thing I've really, really learned this year is that behind the keyboard are people - and it is so good to escape the internet bubble and get out there with other people. It's funny - here I thought my hobby - obsession - was heirloom tomatoes. But really, it's much more than that, I've found - it is just a surrogate for life, community, stories - some tears, laughs - and a surprisingly big quantity of hugs.
A-Schwarzenegger
(15,596 posts)It is one of the ways I get restored to sanity.
Here's a gardening quote blog i visit:
http://www.gardendigest.com/sit.htm
P.S. Oscar was imagined in the garden one day
when I was trying to figure out what sort of critter
was eating the bell peppers.
CaliforniaPeggy
(149,560 posts)What a lovely post. You are a DU treasure (and, I don't doubt) a treasure to those who know and love you out in the world, far away from message boards.
I find myself nodding in agreement as I read your beautiful post. You have said a mouthful, and I'm so glad I read it.
I have long and strongly felt that there are real people behind those keyboards and screens, and I have friends here in my life to validate that. It is amazing to me that this transition can be made, and made well. And it can affect your entire life. My friendship with WCGreen was such, and I'm so glad we got to meet, electronically and in person.
Messages are like little gifts! Oh, they sure are.
Blessings on you...
Erich Bloodaxe BSN
(14,733 posts)So I'm cooling down a bit from the heat. I was out thinning out the fledgling apples forming from blossoms, so that the tree would concentrate more on fewer apples, and hopefully we'll get fewer, but bigger and better apples. I also had to cut out a dead apple branch and several large dead mulberry branches. I'll have to replace the blade on my Japanese hand saw soon, it cracked up near the tang, as I've been careless and allowed it to flex too much, putting pressure on it during the forward stroke. (Japanese saws cut on the pull, not the push, so are thinner and more flexible.) We've got small apples starting, small cherries starting, some small strawberries, and everything else is moving along, although I was late to plant the tomato seeds you gave me, and I'm still waiting for some of those to appear above ground.
I started out having a bad day. I was frustrated that our new rescued dog doesn't seem to be progressing in housebreaking and that I still have to crate her if I leave the house, and I snapped at my housemate for something trivial. Went out to mow, which gave me time to think, and to come back in and apologize to the housemate and let her know why I was really short tempered. Went out to get her some restaurant food as a better apology, and when I got there and was waiting in line, a woman ahead of me in a walker had an order there was no way she could carry to her table. So I stepped out of line, helped carry things for her, then came back and got in line again.
Got up to the register, placed my order, started to hand over a credit card, and was told 'Joe's paying for your order.' I blinked a couple times, asked 'Who's Joe?', thinking maybe it had been the guy ahead of me, who maybe was doing one of those 'Pay it forward' numbers, but was told Joe was one of the cooks. I then asked if I knew him, at which point the cashier explained that he'd seen me helping the woman in the walker, and wanted to reward a kind deed. I blinked again, put my card away, and walked over to the counter across from the cooks, and thanked Joe, a skinny guy with tattoos all over, the kind of person I might have typecast as an ex-con biker in a movie.
Now you could just write it off as a bit of instant karma, and indeed I made some comment like that to Joe after thanking him. But it was also a lesson, and I try never to pass up an opportunity to learn. I'd done something wrong that morning, and I knew it, and so I tried to make things a bit less wrong. And in so doing, I helped, and in turn received help myself. When we do wrong, we hurt ourselves, when we do right, and help others, it spurs others to do kind actions too. I don't know what I'll do to spread a bit of kindness in return, but in honour of Joe, I will 'pay it forward', as well as keep in mind that the best way to help myself is to keep helping others, and not simply wait to 'pay it forward' after someone else has been kind to me.
jwirr
(39,215 posts)NRaleighLiberal
(60,013 posts)jwirr
(39,215 posts)SoapBox
(18,791 posts)I put it on my wish list so I can look at it more.
barbtries
(28,787 posts)okay? okay.
i saw her today by the way and she told me a little about her aunt and why she doesn't have her mom on mother's day. she's so sweet.
Oilwellian
(12,647 posts)It is definitely one of my comforts in life. And my fine feathered friends...I just can never say enough about the joy they bring every day. Most are regulars with names, but we also get some gorgeous visitors just passing through and stopping in for some nuts, berries and a drink of water.
My husband and I visit Raleigh at least twice a year. His two sons and their families live there, and his daughter will be moving there with her family, later in the summer. We are so happy to have them all so near and we love our visits.
I will leave you with two shots from our garden and feeder. Thank you for such a beautiful post on Mother's Day.
Great Northern Flicker
appalachiablue
(41,113 posts)Terra Alta
(5,158 posts)You are one of my favorite DUers and it is a pleasure to hear your gardening stories. Hope everything goes well with your sister-in-law.
DU is like my second home and I have met lots of wonderful people here. Living in a very conservative area, DU is a welcome escape from it, and has helped me keep my sanity many times!
NRaleighLiberal
(60,013 posts)And you are very sweet for your kind words. thank you.
Terra Alta
(5,158 posts)but unfortunately I have to work that day. Will have to meet up with you sometime, though!
NRaleighLiberal
(60,013 posts)AM - then talking, lunching and driving back to Raleigh. If you are anywhere near 85, I could stop in and say hello on the way home or something like that....
Terra Alta
(5,158 posts)but don't think I'll be anywhere near where you will be.
NRaleighLiberal
(60,013 posts)appalachiablue
(41,113 posts)Curmudgeoness
(18,219 posts)and that is something that invigorates the soul. I am looking forward to the first summer with the time to put into my garden more seriously, also because I was "shown the door" where I worked. You are lucky to have had something to get into full time, between the garden and the books.
Your one comment really hit home to me: "I found myself getting a bit bitter - frustrated with people, wondering what they were thinking - or why they weren't." So much truth in that one line. But I also think that my desire to keep up on all the news and things going on in the world contributes to that attitude, so I try to divorce myself from it all sometimes just for sanity. My garden (a lot of it is flowers for me) helps me empty my mind for a while. Too bad I have to deal with winter.
mopinko
(70,067 posts)it is only our 3rd year at it, but have had a few come every years so far. got to chat with a lot of neighbors, and had a few folks venture from around town and the burbs.
got to wave your book at a few folks, and tell them about the dwarf tomato project. in this urban hood, they go over pretty well.
with all the crap that has been dished my way, and weekend with the fans has been balm for the soul.
just delicious.
840high
(17,196 posts)i'm down in real dumps - I head to my tiny garden. I never wear gloves - love the feel of earth between my fingers.
Aerows
(39,961 posts)and not just for your Lucky Cross tomatoes (though that's kind of debatable... Hm. save the Lucky Cross tomatoes or NRaleighLiberal .. Oh wait, he can produce more delicious things!)
I kid!
You are absolutely right. We are people.
grasswire
(50,130 posts)Where can I find those?
Aerows
(39,961 posts)He made the variation. He sent me one, but I messed up the seeds. They are a gorgeous yellow/pink heirloom that taste like heaven.
How did you "mess up" the seeds?
Aerows
(39,961 posts)and didn't dry them out properly so they sprouted on me, then got molded
Gormy Cuss
(30,884 posts)Thanks.
grasswire
(50,130 posts)...and was proud to tell the seller of the tomato starts that I *know* the originator.
magical thyme
(14,881 posts)I planted a dozen plants 2 years ago. Each year I intended to nip the flowers of 1/2 fo them to start them spreading. Each year I ran out of time and energy and discipline.
This. is. the. year. I have the time. But it's cold and gray out, and the black flies showed up 10 days late this year, but in full force with extra hunger.
Just a couple more minutes, and I'm off to start weeding around them and mulching.
Yes, gardening is great for slowing down, listening to the birds and feeling the earth in your fingers.
Owl
(3,641 posts)Great job!
NRaleighLiberal
(60,013 posts)grasswire
(50,130 posts)I'm reminded of the musings of Garrison Keillor when reading this.
NRaleighLiberal
(60,013 posts)to St. Paul to see PHC. (we "rushed" - no pre-tickets, lined up outside, and got to sit on the stage!). After the show we met Garrison - such a tall, looming, impressive presence - great listener, very gentle person. Loved it!
Thanks, by the way - your comments are too kind - I am not in the same galaxy as Mr. K!
TuxedoKat
(3,818 posts)Thanks for sharing it. I feel like a kindred spirit with you in so many ways. I love gardening - have been learning about heirloom apple trees and tomatoes (your influence for the tomatoes and I have your book) for the past few years. I just ordered some Coyote and Mexico Midget plants because I read in your book that they will come up from seed. Ever since I saw you talking about Mexico Midget in your video I've been wanted to grow them. I'm a long time birder since childhood, and this year after several years I finally have a pair of bluebirds living in my yard (thrilled about that). Last week I saw three new birds I've never seen before, one a Black Throated Blue Warbler.
I've mellowed out on political issues as well. Long ago I didn't think I could be friends with people who thought differently than I did politically but now I have some good friends who are fairly far right. We just don't talk politics much.
I'm glad your book is doing well and opening doors for you. After unsuccessfully looking for a job this winter/spring I decided to start a small business doing something I enjoy. I figure that makes more sense since I will make more money, set my own hours and not be a slave to someone else's schedule doing something I don't really want to do and not earning very much for my efforts. I hope your wife has some good quality time with her sister. Best wishes!