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Galraedia

(5,022 posts)
Mon May 11, 2015, 10:42 PM May 2015

Republicans More Dangerous Than ISIS, According to NSA Super-Computer

n 2013, the NSA started building a $3.6 billion super computer with the goal of predicting the moves of terrorist groups before those groups themselves knew what they were going to do. And after eight hours of operation, that super computer has finally tallied the results… but Republicans aren’t going to like what the machine has to say.

According to the computer, named “Providentia” after the Roman goddess of forethought, It isn’t ISIS that poses the greatest threat to Americans, nor is it another terrorist group, like Al Qaeda. It isn’t another country, like Russia, China, Iran, or North Korea, either. According to Providentia, the biggest threat to America is a bit closer to home… the Republican party.

On Monday, Providentia was tasked with completing its first-ever in-depth analysis, with the subject “The Top Ten Threats To The United States.” From there, the super computer calculated that the Republican Party was America’s worst threat, based on countless factors, and further reported that if Republicans win the White House in 2016, or if they manage to pick up more seats in the House or Senate, the results would be “catastrophic.”

“When we turned this machine on, none of us were expecting this to turn out the way it did,” says Mike Jacobs, the NSA’s chief researcher on the Providentia project and a self-described Republican. “It was pretty shocking, for sure. But it operated within its parameters precisely how it was supposed to. There wasn’t any partisan manipulation here. This just happens to be the result of the data [Providentia] crunched.”

Read more: http://nationalreport.net/republicans-dangerous-isis-according-nsa-super-computer/

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Republicans More Dangerous Than ISIS, According to NSA Super-Computer (Original Post) Galraedia May 2015 OP
You do know this is a fake news site? But I tend to agree. gordianot May 2015 #1
still looking for the fake part unblock May 2015 #2
A lot like satire these days hard to detect. gordianot May 2015 #4
The fake part is you don't need a supercomputer to figure it out Major Nikon May 2015 #13
Satire Galraedia May 2015 #3
In some dark hole I would not be suprised that some analyst have really come to this conclusion. gordianot May 2015 #5
It would be funny if it wasn't true. nt hay rick May 2015 #6
Sounds legit Kalidurga May 2015 #7
Acording to Ted Cruz: Binkie The Clown May 2015 #8
How soon before they start getting Hellfired from drones? It can't start soon enough. NBachers May 2015 #9
Now watch Republicans tell their idiot cult to burn their computers. Spitfire of ATJ May 2015 #10
Biggest bunch o malarky I've heard all year! chknltl May 2015 #11
From The National Report Website Unknown Beatle May 2015 #12

gordianot

(15,237 posts)
5. In some dark hole I would not be suprised that some analyst have really come to this conclusion.
Mon May 11, 2015, 11:03 PM
May 2015

Chaos theory practically demands it, the absolute nut cases in the Republican Party are too long to list and are staggering.

Binkie The Clown

(7,911 posts)
8. Acording to Ted Cruz:
Mon May 11, 2015, 11:09 PM
May 2015

"This just proves who the biggest threat is… scientists. They haven’t given our society anything of value, and they pull stuff like this on top of that. It’s despicable.”

Well, OK Ted. No more air travel for you. No more modern medicine. No more telephones, Internet, radio, television, automobiles. It's horse and buggy for you, dude.

chknltl

(10,558 posts)
11. Biggest bunch o malarky I've heard all year!
Tue May 12, 2015, 01:31 AM
May 2015

Who paid so many of our fellow DUers to post that this is satire? Has anyone followed up by contacting admin to let them know that we've been hacked?

Unknown Beatle

(2,672 posts)
12. From The National Report Website
Tue May 12, 2015, 01:33 AM
May 2015
Disclaimer

National Report is a news and political satire web publication, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. All news articles contained within National Report are fiction, and presumably fake news. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental. Advice given is NOT to be construed as professional. If you are in need of professional help, please consult a professional. National Report is not intended for children under the age of 18.
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