The JW cult, and it is a cult, has taken its toll on my family as well. Everything she said about how the members are treated is not hyperbole or exaggeration. It is the bedrock principles of the organization. I know, I live it.
I was never a JW, but I married a disfellowshipped member. (FYI: Disfellowshipping means you are kicked out of the organization until you "repent". as part of this process you are shunned by the other members, including your family. they literally will not even make eye contact with you. I have seen this practice taken place, and it is a horrific and barbaric display.) She had a child with her first husband, who is still a member in "good standing". My spouse was disfellowshipped for divorcing her first husband, despite begging the Elders (leaders of the congregation) for help in dealing with his temper. She was told by the elders to "be a better wife and pray more". Yes, that is a quote.
She lost everyone in her life, except for her parents, and that in of itself is unusual. Her parents definitely left themselves open for their own disfellowshipping by talking to her. most JWs are not so lucky. Many are literally kicked out of their homes to live on the street.
My spouse and I shared custody of the child with the husband and his new spouse until the child was 15. we told her many times "don't let them baptize you until you are at least 18. then you can at least make the choice as an adult, with full understanding of what committing to the religion means".
Then, at 15, she declared she wanted to move away with her father. She swore she would never participate in the "shunning". that "you are my mom, I could never do that to you". Little did we know she was participating in a "bible study" with a member of the church that was brainwashing her. She lied to us again and again, and so did her father, promising her mother contact by phone and Skype after she left. A month after they moved, after calling and e-mailing her many times, one day she called her mother, and informed her she was now shunning her, and would not contact her again.
That was over 3 years ago.
My wife has been devastated since.
My child is already engaged and planning to be married at 19, where she will enter into the "headship" arrangement where her new husband is the absolute authority in her life. If nothing else, he SEEMS to be decent, but JW men change once the ring is on your finger. this is what happened to my wife. they say whatever they can to get you to marry them, and then they own you, and if you try to fight back, you are disfellowshipped and shunned.
since I was never a JW, she has no religious grounds not to speak with me. for a while I cut her off, stating that I could not accept the way she was treating her mother, but in the last few months my wife encouraged me to stay in touch with her, saying if she was ever in trouble, she would have nowhere to turn without us. I have told her time and again that we will always love her unconditionally. She will not even tell me when her wedding date is for fear we will "crash" the event. We are taking the high road, but I must be so careful what I say, for if even for a moment I question her on the sanity of what she is doing, I can easily be branded as an apostate against her believes, and the Elders will order her to shun me as well.
These people destroy families, cover up abuse and rape as the girl mentions in her speech, and have caused countless shunned members to commit suicide. One of my wife's dear childhood friends threw himself off a building when he was disfellowshipped. The acceptance from the church meant everything to him. he could not live without it.
If you made it all the way through this post, thank you, and heed this warning...
If they come to your door, do not answer it.
If they leave magazines in your door or workplace, do not read them.
If a loved one is considering joining, do not let them.
They are a smiling, welcoming open armed people when reaching out to the public, but once you are a part of the organization, you are their property, forever.
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