Ugly facts About Bernie Sanders That you need to Know.

[Katashi_itto]

Last edited Fri May 29, 2015, 07:07 AM - Edit history (4)

Fact: He came proudly out of the closet at an Early age as Bipedal.
Fact: He Is a adherent of Socialist Mastication.
Fact: Bernie Sanders generates on average about 3.5 pounds of rubbish a day, most of it paper. Yet supports pollution control. Hypocrisy!
Fact: Sanders has gone through periods of Onanism.
Fact: Bernie Sanders tongue tastes bitter things with the taste buds toward the back. Salty and pungent flavors are tasted in the middle of the tongue, sweet flavors at the tip. This is obviously suspect.
Fact: On average, Americans collectively eat 18 acres of pizza everyday. An obvious socialist plot.
Fact: The average American butt is 14.9 inches long. This may or may not include Bernie Sanders, we need to know why.
Fact: 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year. Bernie Sanders has not been one of them....so far.
Fact: The scene where Indiana Jones shoots the swordsman in Raider’s of the Lost Ark was Harrison Ford's idea so that he could take a bathroom break. Is there a connection with Bernie Sanders? A definitive maybe.
Fact: Vermont Public Radio Show: The Power Of Darkness Bernie Sanders Heavy Metal Hour is not run by Sanders and is entirely fictional.

[cascadiance]

1. And he eats lunch with Thom Hartmann, not brunch as Hartmann's show is labeled as...

HOW MISLEADING IS THAT!!! Thought brunch was supposed to be eaten before noon!

[Mnpaul]

44. I see a Tom Tomorrow on this and all the above coming soon

wait for it.

[House of Roberts]

77. Somebody's got to put a stop to this!

It was originally 'Brunch With Bernie', when Thom lived in Oregon, and by Pacific Time, Bernie's hour started at 9am. Now that Thom lives in DC, Bernie's hour starts at noon. See the difference?

[cascadiance]

88. Shame on Hartmann then for moving to DC to manipulate us!

[closeupready]

2. And his profile is scary, with that weird hair.

[Jester Messiah]

3. And he has done absolutely nothing to combat the menace of dihydrogen monoxide!

So many people die from this toxic substance every year and yet he is entirely silent on this topic! OUTRAGE

[rhett o rick]

7. Yikes! I just rinsed my mouth out with some. nm

[L0oniX]

48. I hope he does something about people using santorum as mouth wash.

[ImaPolitico]

69. Why can't Mr. Bernie …..

keep his hair combed? He is always looking so unkempt.

Hillary in 2016!

[House of Roberts]

78. Because wind.

.

[Jesus Malverde]

4. lulZ

JM

[enigmatic]

5. Bernie also listens to Nickelback.

Deal-breaker for me!

[Jamastiene]

28. Ew, me too.

[enigmatic]

29. Hey!

[Jamastiene]

30. .

[CrawlingChaos]

40. you take back that filthy lie

[Scootaloo]

56. One does not "listen to Nickelback"

one hears Nickelback, while fumbling at the radio knob like a spastic gerbil, thinking why did I order fries now my fingers are greasy oh please make it stop!

[TlalocW]

6. Also

Bernie is/has
a known extrovert
practiced celibacy before marriage
practiced nepotism with his sister-in-law
matriculated with women in college
a sister who was a thespian
a brother who is a practicing homo sapien
a known audiophile with subscriptions to several phonographic magazines

TlaocW

[Duval]

14. We gotta' watch out

for that Brother!

[hifiguy]

24. The Smathers approach, eh?

[sulphurdunn]

33. My gawd!

[AtomicKitten]

37. matriculated?

with women?

[MynameisBlarney]

81. Yup.

I heard that he was known to oscillate in public. Also with women.

[CrawlingChaos]

41. a practicing homo sapien?!

OMG I love this fuckin' thread.

[Thespian2]

57. Watch out for anyone

who has actually known a "thespian," let alone have one as a family member...

[gregcrawford]

8. Now THAT'S some funny shit!

GO BERNIE!

[StatGirl]

9. He was an unashamed sexegenarian for 10 years!

(I recognize a bunch of these from a very old MAD magazine.)

[C Moon]

10. Brilliant post!

[KansDem]

11. And what about his initials?

"BS"

What does that tell you?!!

C'mon, folks, get a clue!! Just how much evidence do you need??!!!

[turbinetree]

21. I thought it meant Better Socialist

[cui bono]

68. Socialist!?!?!?!?!

[MynameisBlarney]

85. INORITE!?!

WAKE UP SHEEEEPLE!!!

*eye twitch*

[SoapBox]

12. Quick!

Send it to FoxFakeNews...the world needs to know!

[Orsino]

13. Let's see those Hillary-hating BernieBots explain these things.

Truth hurts.

[pa28]

15. I KNEW it! Bernie Sanders is a scary, scary man.

[Paka]

16. A welcome morning chuckle.

[Bucky]

17. His hair always looks uncombed. How can we trust a man who can't comb his own hair?

I'M WORRIED!!!!

[KamaAina]

19. How can we trust a man who wears somebody else's hair?

[Jack Rabbit]

25. Some people who wear other people's hair

. . . are hiding the empty space underneath . . .
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[/center][font size="1"]Photo of Donald Trump attributed to Greg Skidmore, from Wikimedia Commons (http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File: Donald_Trump_by_Gage_Skidmore.jpg)
(Creative Commons License, Attribution/Share Alike)
[/font]

[KamaAina]

27. Believe it or not, The Hair isn't a rug!

It's a botched plug job from back when the technology was still in beta.

[paleotn]

50. Fake!!

or not....The Donald baby picture?

[paleotn]

49. Tribble!

[Volaris]

66. You shouldnt be. And when people ask why, just tell them youre voting for Doc Brown=)

1.21 gigawatts, motherfuckers--1.21 gigawatts. (nods head sagely)

Haha maybe we can make bernie bumper stickers that read '88 miles an hour!', 'Lets see if you bastards can do 90', etc, (please feel free to make your own)




Sanders 16--The Future Awaits.

[KamaAina]

18. I heard he stole a Chunky bar when he was ten.

[Katashi_itto]

20. True!

[7962]

22. Even people I know on the right say theres no dirt on Sanders.

They'll scream "Socialist!" but thats it. Hell, I saw Sanders on O'Reilly and HE called him a "stand up guy"!

[Joe Chi Minh]

32. Socialist? What more evidence do we need? The bounder!

[bvf]

26. This is all very alarming.

I may need to reconsider my support for him.

[Voice for Peace]

31. here are a couple of actually ugly facts about Bernie

- people with no conscience are claiming he is racist

- mainstream media tries to make a joke out of him

I think that's authentically ugly.

[BeanMusical]

61. "people with no conscience are claiming he is racist"

Yeah, I saw that. Beyond disgusting.

[Voice for Peace]

34. Do you think Ted Cruz looks as adorable to his fans as Bernie does?

I mean, he is cuter than a puppy in that picture.

No I don't worship anybody. But he is really, really, cute
because he is really really real. When bullshit and ego
are mostly absent: a very special human critter. Wanna
take him home and feed him treats, and comb his hair.

[KamaAina]

35. People are saying he had a homosexual experience at summer camp.

[Warren DeMontague]

52. Didnt we all?

[KamaAina]

59. Actually, no

but mine was day camp.

[McKim]

36. Assets at the New York Times Say He Only Appeals to People His Age

NY Times said he appeals only to people his own age! Ageism and insults. They must be truly threatened by his platform as they have started early in their attacks.

I guess free college that Senator Sanders offers them is not attractive to young people? Jobs? Staying alive by not having to join the Army because Bernie will end the wars in the Middle East? What's not to love?

[Rosa Luxemburg]

47. Hillary is 67

only 6 years between them. It must be his suits!

[red dog 1]

38. K&R

[closeupready]

39. Oh, and he once told a heckler to shut up. You read that right.

[awoke_in_2003]

42. I have to rec this for the use of "mastication"

it is one of my favorite words- it makes people uncomfortable. "Where's Joe?" "He's in the other room masticating".

[zeemike]

84. That was a deal breaker for me.

I cannot support someone who masticates in public...it is an abuse of our precious bodily fluids.

[HooptieWagon]

43. He's got boxes in his garage!

[Ken Burch]

46. My God...Bernie's got a garage?

That's just disgusting!

[NuclearDem]

79. Is that a garage? Luxury!

Is that a hair comb? Vanity!

[Warren DeMontague]

53. And inside those boxes, are tiny garages.

It's not hard to extrapolate, what is inside them... And so on.

[Ken Burch]

45. Uh...do the rest of us want to know how you verified the "onanism" thing?

[Ken Burch]

62. True. I thought the OP might have been observing Bernie REALLY closely. n/t.

[Warren DeMontague]

51. HE SHEDS APPROXIMATELY ONE MILLION DEAD SKIN CELLS- EVERY DAY!!!!

Has he apologized publicly for this? Not to my knowledge!

[Scootaloo]

54. I laughed, hard.

I'm not sure I can get behind a candidate with a below-average butt width.

obviously it's just easier to get behind an above-average butt.

[nationalize the fed]

58. He has a brother named Larry who ran for Parliament

Not Bernie's Brother



Bernie's actual brother Larry Sanders who lives in the UK and ran for Parliament link

[Warren DeMontague]

60. coincidentally enough, Bernie Sanders also once played drums for Parliament Funkadelic.

Take that, Clinton!

[RiverNoord]

82. Whoa - the Sanders family is a multinational conspiracy!

Its nefarious goal of running for office - and sometimes winning! - in jurisdictions in which the particular family member running is eligible for office - must be stopped!

The rampant spread of onanism must be brought to an end before it's too late!!!

[840high]

63. Bernie luvz kittehs.

[MarianJack]

65. He is also a practicing Homo Sapian!

YIKES

PEACE!

[rocktivity]

67. As a child, he emulated his own parents

and has tried to convince children to experiment in philately!


rocktivity

[Eleanors38]

92. Betcha his wife is a thespian.

and had numerous acts of it.

[azurnoir]

70. up next- Bernies hairdresser tells all

[Katashi_itto]

71. Has given his personal hairdresser a nervous breakdown.

[left-of-center2012]

72. He shuns hair care products

[raouldukelives]

73. Funny stuff. Certainly helps this morning. nt

[Vic Prell]

74. The Cubs have not won a World Series....

....since Bernie was first elected to office.

Coincidence?????


I THINK NOT!!!!

[SmittynMo]

75. Joking or not

Bernie is a breath of fresh air in politics. He is EXACTLY what we need,

And all of you can come up with is his hair, his democratic socialistic views, the music he listens to? And then all the bullshit in the original post.

His hair: Anyone near his age knows its hard to control, even in the slightest wind. I cut it all off - Never a problem again.

His socialist views: If we didn't have him to stand up for the lower and middle class, believe me, no one would. He is the rock of Gilbralter

His music: Give me a fuckin break!!! Who cares.

Quit nitpicking this guy. He's the real thing and WILL stand up for us. No more bullshit. He represents the people, not corporate America. Wake up people, he's the real thing and exactly what we need. He's starting to get some media coverage. NYT, The Daily Show, More to come. I actually heard Lawrence Odonnell talk about him last night for a short period. He's starting to collect moss on a rolling stone.
I'm glad to see him getting the recognition he deserves.

GO Bernie, GO!!!!

[treestar]

76. Bernie plans to win the primaries by having the most DU OPs about him nt

[stage left]

90. What a diabolical plan.

Has he no shame?

[MynameisBlarney]

80. Some people say...

That Bernie Sanders once juggled kittens for a living.

[d_legendary1]

83. I hear Sanders is in bed with big

Middle Class
Climate Change
Regulation
Wall Street Reform
Protectionism
His Wife

Just to name a few things.

[Ken Burch]

86. I know for sure he's in bed with a big mattress. n/t.

[d_legendary1]

87. THE NERVE!!!

[stage left]

89. This man really needs to be stopped.

He has been known to engage in furious gesticulation, particularly that involving the marked pointing of the index finger. Please. Think of the children.

[nxylas]

91. Bbbut socialism!

We know socialism doesn't work, because Germans live in small houses (paraphrase of an actual comment I saw on Facebook today).

[Katashi_itto]

93. Wow