McCain Urges Military Strikes Against FIFA

[ghostsinthemachine]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – Calling the Obama Administration’s actions against the soccer organization “weak and ineffective,” Senator John McCain on Thursday proposed military action to “dismantle and destroy FIFA once and for all.”

“These are people who only understand one thing: force,” McCain said on the floor of the United States Senate. “We must make FIFA taste the vengeful might and fury of the United States military.”

McCain said that he was “completely unimpressed” by the Department of Justice’s arrests of several top FIFA lieutenants this week, calling the action “the kind of Band-Aid solution that this Administration, sadly, has become famous for.”

READ MORE SATIRE HERE: http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/mccain-urges-military-strikes-against-fifa

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

1. Heck soccer aint even 'Mer'can

And they have the nerve to call it football.

[hifiguy]

2. Borowitz strikes again.

Knew it was him before I clicked. I like the way his mind works. Reality, skewed only slightly.

[olddots]

3. he also wants to put fences up around Taco Bells

He has become a total cartoon charactor .

[ghostsinthemachine]

4. The Official Russian news agency bought the story....

The Russian government’s official newspaper thought John McCain really wants the US to invade FIFA
09:25, 29 May 2015 The Insider

The official newspaper of the Russian government has mistaken a satirical New Yorker article for a real news report. Andy Borowitz’s May 28 humor column, titled “McCain Urges Military Strikes Against FIFA,” sparked an angry editorial by Vladislav Vorobyev, a deputy editor at Rossiskaya Gazeta, where he attacked American politicians for “losing touch with reality” and “violating international law with impunity.”



https://meduza.io/en/news/2015/05/29/the-russian-government-s-official-newspaper-thought-john-mccain-really-wants-the-us-to-invade-fifa

[brooklynite]

5. This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen...

...have you tried to throw a grenade without using your hands?

[joeybee12]

6. Good satire is almost believable...

and this is...what a blood-thirsty old fool McLame is